Chapter 4. Dakkalbi

The excitement I felt for my first lab meeting vanished the moment it began. I soon realized that these meetings would become the hardest part of my week. Usually, students take turns presenting their research, and the room is alive with feedback, questions, and engagement. But not when it was my turn.

Because my Korean was still shaky, I presented in English. Back home, I was known for my enthusiastic presentations, always aiming to surprise and hook my audience. Here, I was met with a sea of lowered heads. My colleagues stared at their phones, disinterested. Even my professor got up and left the room for a long stretch while I was still speaking.

I struggled to follow the professor's feedback in Korean, but the fragments I understood pierced my heart. Instead of offering academic guidance, he spoke to the other students as if I weren't there, or perhaps as if I couldn't understand. He told them I was a student who "didn't know anything," adding that he was saying it in Korean so I wouldn't be hurt. But I did understand. I felt a wave of sadness and disappointment wash over me.

Later that day, Taehyung reached out. "Let's have dinner tonight. My treat. There's a dakgalbi place I love near the main gate."

I agreed, and we met at the entrance before walking to the restaurant. The smell of spicy stir-fried chicken filled the air as we sat down.

"I used to eat here all the time when I was a student," Taehyung said casually.

When he was a student? I noted the phrase. He still hadn't clarified his lie about currently writing a thesis. He looked at me, sensing my mood.

"What's with that face? Did something happen?"

"Ah, it's nothing. Just..."

"Tell me. But I won't force you if you're not ready."

The food arrived, steaming and vibrant. "I'll tell you after we eat," I promised.

As we finished, I made a suggestion. "Hyung, there's a place on campus I want to visit. Do you want to come?"

"Of course! Let's go. We can grab coffee first."

This time, I insisted on paying for the coffee. Even though I had given him a birthday cake, I felt the need to reciprocate his kindness. We walked toward a lush park on campus, a place where the paths were lined with leafy trees. It was a peaceful afternoon; local families were picnicking, and people were out walking their dogs.

Taehyung looked around in genuine surprise. "Wow, back when I graduated, this place didn't look like this. The park is beautiful now."

I wondered again how long ago he had actually graduated if he didn't know about these facilities. We sat down, and I finally let it out.

"I'm having a hard time here. Every week there's a lab meeting, and I feel like I just don't fit in with the people here. I'm thinking about quitting and going back to my country."

Taehyung turned to me, his expression serious. "Why would you go? Can't you try to hold on? You've come so far. You've sacrificed so much to be here."

"I know I need to learn Korean to understand them," I said, my voice trailing off. "But once I do understand, it hurts. I heard my professor say he doesn't think I can make it. I wonder if the other students feel the same way."

Taehyung reached out, trying to offer comfort. "Hey, think of it like a parent's discipline. Maybe he's being harsh because he wants you to be better. Don't take it too much to heart."

"Thanks for listening," I said, feeling a bit lighter. "Sorry for bringing down the mood."

"I'm just glad you're sharing this with me," he replied with that same warm smile. "Let's meet again next week."

He walked me all the way back to the dormitory. As I watched him leave, the knot of suspicion in my stomach remained, even as his words provided a temporary bandage for my bruised ego

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