Chapter 1: The First Glance

The First Glance

June 6th, 2025

Eighth grade… some say it is the hardest… others say it is the least exhausting. A year meant for experiences. What does my academic reputation matter? It always matters, however…

I mean, in eighth grade I am still two academic years away from it truly—truly—mattering. In ninth grade, I will be only one year away, a year I plan to use to build habits and discipline. A greater sense of maturity. What I mean is that this could have been my opportunity to actually enjoy my social life.

I didn’t.

Perhaps because, since the beginning of the year, I had romanticized school. What does my social life matter? I will socialize with books instead. Little did I know the weight I was already carrying before even feeling it on my shoulders. That couldn’t be happening. I had never felt something like this before. Was it good? Was it bad? I would say… shocking. I had never imagined something like this happening to ME. Yes—specifically me.

But what exactly? I can’t even explain it.

All I know is that I was leaving my beloved locker. I heard the usual noise. There was always chaos and loudness in the hallways as classes waited for the next lesson. I think those were the moments when I stood out the most.

My class was 8th D. Perhaps I should even consider it the worst class of the entire eighth grade. The classroom where I had lessons was right next to 8th C. That makes sense. Maybe it’s irrelevant. Or maybe not.

As I walked, I casually glanced toward the neighboring classroom and saw a group of boys staring at me in a strange way. It was unsettling. That group—the foreign one. Logan.

I had always considered him ignorant, though not in a judgmental way, if that makes sense. He and his group were far too popular to be looking at me like that. What did Logan want now? And why is he so tall? If he stared at someone like me for that long, he might end up with scoliosis.

My thoughts were, unfortunately, interrupted by Logan’s voice:

— “Hey! My friend likes you!”

I was surprised. I never expected them to say something like that. I expected them to make fun of me instead. When I turned around, I didn’t look at Logan—but at the boy he was referring to.

Noah.

Meanwhile, Nathan and Evan were just laughing at the situation. Within a second, Noah was already denying—with an effort I had never seen before—whatever feelings he supposedly had for me:

— “That’s not true!”

I simply couldn’t process anything. I turned away and continued walking down the corridor, whispering to myself, “what the hell.” I kept walking until I reached my classroom. It wasn’t far.

I was immediately filled with questions. I saw Isadora and didn’t hesitate to tell her everything that had happened. Her reaction was strange—she should have been as shocked as I was, maybe because Logan was involved—but after everything, her reaction felt almost insignificant.

So I kept the moment to myself.

During class… actually, what class? What does class matter? A boy likes me. Wait… what if it’s all a joke? Noah could have denied it because his friends were pushing him onto the first random girl they saw. Or maybe because that wasn’t how he wanted the truth to be revealed.

I understand. If a friend exposed my feelings like that, in the middle of a hallway, I wouldn’t admit it either. Still, Logan seems exactly like the type to make that kind of joke. For example:

Logan: — “Go find someone.”

Noah: — “I don’t think so.”

Logan: — “Hey! My friend likes you!”

Obviously, it sounds ridiculous. But I am far too skeptical to believe that Noah actually likes me.

Curiously, I felt too neutral. Perhaps because I was still processing everything that had happened. Or because school mattered more to me than boys. I was far too focused on improving my academic reputation to even notice them.

April 4th, 2026

At the time, I didn’t consider it relevant.

Today, I’m not so sure.

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