It was My First Kiss

Sure, it was awkward between Seunghyub and Haein.

Not only the two of them noticed it—the others did too. The shift was subtle, but undeniable. The way they avoided eye contact, the pauses that lingered just a little too long, the silence that crept in whenever they were too close to each other.

Exam week had finally ended.

For an entire week, Haein had been avoiding him. Every time she saw him from afar, she would turn the other way. Every time their schedules overlapped, she would find an excuse to leave early. It wasn’t because she was angry.

She was embarrassed.

Embarrassed by what she had done that night.

Fortunately, Seunghyub had been just as busy. Exams, projects, responsibilities—he barely had time to notice her absence. Or at least, that’s what it looked like from the outside. So, in a way, their daily lives continued without disruption.

Until today.

They finally met again.

The place was already lively when Haein arrived. Laughter filled the room, mixed with the clinking of glasses and the chatter of friends who had finally survived exam week. Food was spread across the table, half-eaten, half-forgotten.

Everyone was there.

Everyone except him.

And maybe that’s why Haein could still breathe normally.

She took her seat, trying to blend in, trying to act like nothing was wrong. Like nothing had changed.

Then the door opened.

And everything changed.

Seunghyub walked in.

He was the last one to arrive.

Almost instantly, the room quieted—not completely, but enough for the tension to slip through the cracks of conversation. Eyes shifted subtly, some glancing at Haein, some at him.

There was an empty seat beside Haein.

Another one across from her, next to Gyuyoung.

It should have been obvious.

He should have sat next to Haein.

At least, that’s what everyone expected.

But instead—

He walked past her.

And sat beside Gyuyoung.

It wasn’t a big action.

But it felt like one.

The air in the room grew warmer, heavier. The kind of warmth that didn’t comfort—it suffocated. Even the laughter from before felt forced now, like everyone was trying a little too hard.

And to make things worse, Youngkwang had already been talking.

About his sister.

About her crush.

“Hahaha… why is the tension so high?” Gyuyoung teased, leaning slightly toward Seunghyub as if nothing was wrong.

Seunghyub paused for a second before answering.

“What?”

His voice was calm. Too calm.

He picked up his chopsticks and started eating, acting as if he genuinely didn’t understand what she meant.

“Why did it suddenly get quiet?” he added, glancing around the table. “Because I arrived?”

No one answered.

Haein reached for the glass in front of her.

At the exact same moment—

So did Seunghyub.

Their fingers brushed slightly against the glass.

Their eyes met.

For a brief second, time felt like it slowed.

He looked straight at her—steady, unflinching.

But Haein couldn’t hold it.

She quickly looked away, her heart racing, her chest tightening.

The silence that followed was unbearable.

“Hahahahaha—okay, okay! This is too much! Let’s play some games!” Jaehyun suddenly stood up, clapping his hands loudly. “I brought board games! A lot of them!”

“Okaaaay~ shuffle the cards! Jaehyun, let’s go!” Youngkwang immediately followed, clearly trying to save the situation.

The mood shifted, slowly but surely.

“Oh—it’s yours.”

Seunghyub’s voice cut in softly.

Haein blinked and looked down.

The glass.

He had placed it back in front of her.

Without another word, he reached for a different one, scanning the table.

“Here, hyung,” Hun said, handing him a clean glass.

“Thanks.”

...

Little by little, the room returned to life.

Laughter came back. Conversations resumed. The tension didn’t disappear completely—but it faded enough to let everyone breathe again.

Haein forced herself to join in. She laughed when she was supposed to laugh, responded when someone talked to her, even leaned forward during the game as if she was fully present.

But she wasn’t.

Not really.

And then—

It happened again.

Seunghyub picked up a bottle.

Soju.

He poured it into his glass.

Not cola.

Not water.

Soju.

The moment the clear liquid filled the glass, the room fell quiet again.

“Hyung! You’re drinking tonight?” Jaehyun’s voice shot up in disbelief. “Then how are we getting home?”

Seunghyub chuckled lightly, swirling the drink in his glass.

“Am I your personal driver?”

It sounded like a joke.

But he still drank it.

“I want to see you drunk,” Gyuyoung said, smiling as she leaned closer. “Keep drinking. I’ll send you home.”

There was something playful in her tone—curious, almost excited.

In three years of knowing him, she had never seen him drunk.

Not even once.

“Don’t worry, I’ll call a driver,” Seunghyub replied casually.

“Come on! Let’s start! Stop talking already!” Youngkwang clapped loudly again, clearly done with the tension.

The game resumed.

Cards shuffled. Laughter echoed. Voices overlapped.

And slowly—

It started to feel like before.

Like nothing had ever gone wrong.

But for Haein…

Everything was different.

Because tonight—

She had decided something.

Tonight, she would end this.

No more confusion.

No more guessing.

No more pretending.

The night went on.

Drink after drink.

Round after round.

And somewhere along the way—

Seunghyub started to loosen up.

Not completely.

But enough.

Enough to stop noticing the small things.

Like how Gyuyoung kept refilling his glass.

Like how she leaned a little closer each time.

Like how her hand brushed against his arm.

His shoulder.

Even his thigh.

Casual.

Intentional.

And he didn’t stop her.

Haein saw everything.

Every touch.

Every glance.

Every moment.

And each one—

Felt like a small stab in her chest.

...

The laughter in the room continued, but for Haein, everything sounded distant.

Muted.

Like she was underwater.

She could still see them—her friends, the table, the drinks—but her focus kept drifting back to one person.

Seunghyub.

And the way Gyuyoung kept leaning into him.

At one point, Seunghyub suddenly stood up.

His chair scraped lightly against the floor.

“I’ll be back,” he muttered, voice low, slightly slurred.

He walked out, steps a little unsteady.

For a split second, Gyuyoung moved.

She was about to follow him.

But—

A hand grabbed her wrist.

“Don’t.”

Jay’s voice was low, but firm.

She turned to him, frowning. “What?”

“I know what you’re about to do.”

Gyuyoung scoffed. “And what is that?”

“You’re going to follow him. Then what? Stay with him? Try something?” His grip tightened slightly. “I know you.”

Her expression hardened. “No, you don’t.”

“You did that to me,” he shot back. “So don’t act like I’m crazy.”

She pulled her hand away. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Are you seriously asking me that right now?”

There was a pause.

Then she smirked slightly. “What? Are you jealous?”

Jay laughed—short, bitter.

“Of course I am.”

The words came out sharper than expected.

“You think I stayed quiet all this time because I didn’t care?” His eyes flicked toward the door Seunghyub had just walked through. “I trusted him. I trusted that he wouldn’t let you. But now he’s drunk.”

Gyuyoung didn’t answer.

But her silence—

Said everything.

...

Across the room—

Haein noticed.

The empty seat.

The open door.

The absence.

He was alone.

Her heart started beating faster.

This was it.

Before she could overthink—

She stood up.

“I’ll be back,” she said softly, though no one really paid attention.

And she walked out.

The hallway was quieter.

Colder.

A sharp contrast from the warmth inside.

At the end of it—

A single restroom.

The light above the door was on.

Occupied.

Haein stopped in front of it.

Waited.

Her fingers fidgeted slightly at her sides.

Her heart wouldn’t calm down.

Five minutes felt like forever.

Then—

The door opened.

Seunghyub stepped out.

His hair was slightly messy, strands sticking to his forehead. The front of his shirt was damp, and the faint smell of alcohol mixed with something harsher lingered in the air.

He had thrown up.

He didn’t notice her at first.

He walked toward the sink, turning on the faucet, splashing water onto his lips, rinsing his mouth.

Haein watched him quietly.

Then—

“Oppa…”

Her voice was soft.

But it made him pause.

“Hm?” he responded, glancing at her through the mirror. His eyes were droopy, unfocused—but still aware.

She stepped closer.

“I’m sorry… about that night. I just—”

She couldn’t finish.

Because suddenly—

He turned.

And stepped closer.

Once.

Twice.

Until she had no choice but to step back.

Her back nearly touched the wall.

“What did I do?”

His voice was low.

Direct.

Confused.

“Did I do something wrong to you?”

Her breath caught.

“No… you didn’t…”

“Then why are you avoiding me?”

Another step.

Now she could feel his breath.

Warm.

Unsteady.

“Why were you angry that night?”

“I wasn’t—” she started, but the words tangled.

Everything tangled.

Her thoughts.

Her feelings.

Him.

So close.

Too close.

“You have a girl, right?”

The words slipped out.

Finally.

Honest.

Raw.

“I’m confused,” she continued, voice trembling slightly. “You confuse me. I don’t know what kind of person you are. Are you someone who likes attention from girls? Someone who flirts with everyone?”

Her eyes met his.

Or…

“Do you feel the same way I do?”

Silence fell between them.

Heavy.

Unavoidable.

“She’s my neighbor’s daughter.”

His answer came simply.

Too simply.

“You confuse me too,” he added, voice softer now. “I’m confused too—”

He suddenly stopped.

His expression twisted slightly.

“—euk…”

Without warning, he turned and rushed back into the restroom.

Haein followed him without thinking.

She held his shoulder as he leaned over the sink again, his body shaking slightly.

“It’s okay… it’s okay…” she murmured softly, gently patting his back.

She grabbed tissue, wiping the corner of his lips carefully.

Then handed him water.

“Rinse.”

He obeyed quietly.

Like a child.

Unbeknownst to her—

A few figures gathered at the end of the hallway.

Watching.

Silent.

“You don’t even drink,” Haein said softly, her brows knitting together. “Why are you drinking tonight?”

He leaned back against the sink, breathing slowly.

Then—

“…To know.”

She looked at him.

“To know if you really forgot everything,” he continued. “What you said. What you did.”

Her heart dropped.

“But I remember everything now.”

A pause.

“Clearly.”

“You… remember?” her voice came out barely above a whisper.

“Hm.”

“That night… we stood like this. We talked like this…” she said, stepping closer again without realizing it.

“You remember that too?”

“Yes.”

Something inside her snapped.

Or maybe—

Finally aligned.

She lifted both her hands.

Gently cupped his face.

Pulled him down slightly.

And before she could doubt herself—

She kissed him.

Everything stopped.

Time.

Sound.

Breath.

It wasn’t perfect.

It wasn’t practiced.

But it was real.

Warm.

Certain.

And desperate.

For a few seconds—

He didn’t move.

He didn’t push her away.

Didn’t react.

He just…

Let her.

When she slowly pulled away, her heart was racing uncontrollably.

She searched his face.

Waiting.

Afraid.

Hopeful.

“That was my first kiss.”

His voice was quiet.

Almost disbelieving.

“I know,” she replied, still holding onto him slightly. “I stole it.”

A small pause.

“Because I don’t want to be confused anymore.”

His gaze softened.

“…Me too.”

This time—

He moved first.

His hand slipped behind her head, fingers tangling gently in her hair. The other rested on her back, pulling her closer.

And then—

He kissed her.

Deeper.

Slower.

Certain.

Somewhere behind them—

A quiet gasp.

Then whispering.

Then chaos barely held in.

“Waaah… Seunghyub hyung is insane…” Jaehyun whispered dramatically.

“That was my first kiss,” Hun mocked in a serious tone.

“Euaaaak!” they both hit each other in excitement.

“Haein 1—Gyuyoung 0. Game over!” Youngkwang grinned.

But not everyone was laughing.

Jay had already turned away.

Walking off.

Fast.

Gyuyoung stood frozen for a moment.

Then grabbed her things.

And ran after him.

...

Back in the hallway—

The kiss ended.

Slowly.

Reluctantly.

Seunghyub rested his forehead lightly against hers, still a little dizzy, still breathing unevenly.

Haein’s cheeks were flushed.

Her lips slightly parted.

Her eyes still locked on his.

No more confusion.

No more running away.

When they returned to the room—

Everyone was already seated.

Acting normal.

Too normal.

Haein sat down, trying to steady herself, though the small smile on her lips wouldn’t fade.

Seunghyub followed, a little slower, still slightly stumbling—but calm.

Different.

Something had changed.

And everyone knew it.

******

That same night—

While Seunghyub got his first kiss—

Eunsol sat quietly in her room.

Her sketchbook rested on her lap, open to a fresh page.

This time, she didn’t draw his whole face.

Only his lips.

Carefully—

She traced the shape.

The curve of the upper lip.

The softness of the lower one.

The small details she remembered without even realizing she had memorized them.

Outside, somewhere far away, Seunghyub was learning what a kiss felt like.

Warm.

Real.

Close.

Eunsol, instead—

Studied it.

She paused.

Looked at her drawing.

Then… smiled a little.

“…It looks real.”

Her fingers lightly hovered above the paper, not touching—just observing.

For a moment, she forgot everything else.

The distance.

The silence.

The fact that she had never even been that close to him.

Because right now—

She got it right.

So she turned the page.

And drew it again.

A little better this time.

A little more detailed.

Not because she was sad.

But because she could.

And that alone—

Made her quietly proud of herself.

******

Jay walked away.

“Jay—wait!”

Gyuyoung grabbed his jacket, forcing him to stop.

“What now?” he said, cold.

She frowned. “You’re really going to ignore me like this?”

“Let's break up.” he replied flatly.

“I came to apologize,” she said.

"For what?".

“…For trying to get his attention.”

Jay let out a quiet laugh.

“I know.”

A pause.

"But I din't try to kiss him. No I don't really-".

“I’m tired.”

Gyuyoung’s expression shifted. “I said I won’t do it again.”

“I believe you.”

Another pause.

“But I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

Silence.

“…You’re serious?” she asked softly.

“Yeah.”

He stepped back.

“Let’s stop.”

“Jay—”

“I’m done.”

He turned around.

And this time—

He didn’t look back.

Gyuyoung stood there.

Watching him leave.

But she didn’t chase him.

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