The shaky exhale left his lips before he could stop it, his hand raking through his hair as if trying to physically tear the tension from his scalp. When he finally sat across from me, the table between us felt both like a fortress wall and the flimsiest of barriers. The wood grain swam in my vision as I focused on anything but the intensity burning in his eyes.
"That woman..." he began, voice lowered to something intimate and urgent that made the fine hairs on my arms stand up. "It's not what you think." The words hung between us, charged and heavy. "She's just a colleague. There's nothing between us."
My throat tightened. I could still see it—the way his hand had rested on the small of her back, the easy tilt of his head as he laughed at something she said. The way their lips had met, brief but unmistakable, before he noticed me watching from across the street.
"But you... you..." His words faltered, and his eyes—those familiar dark eyes I'd known since childhood—searched mine with a desperation that made my breath catch. They were pleading, vulnerable, completely unlike the steady gaze of the man who'd taught me to ride a bike, who'd bandaged my scraped knees, who'd been my rock when the world felt too loud.
The childhood endearment slipped out before I could stop it, a defense mechanism as old as our relationship. "Ooo... really but you were kissing her and she is beautiful." I forced a lightness into my tone that I didn't feel, waving a hand as if swatting away a trivial concern. "And you're getting old. Shouldn't you make a family now and stop worrying about me? I can take care of me."
The reaction was immediate, violent in its suddenness. His chair scraped back with a sound that ripped through the quiet apartment, and he was standing, hands braced on the table, knuckles white. The usually calm planes of his face were sharp with something fierce and raw.
"I don't *want* a family if it's not *you*." The words were gritted out, his voice trembling with an emotion so vast it seemed to shake the very air between us. "That kiss meant *nothing*. But the way you looked at me before you left? That's been *killing* me all day."
Every cell in my body went still. This was the line we never crossed, the truth we never spoke. I fell back on the familiar title, a shield against the terrifying intimacy of his confession. "What are you talking about, uncle? I'm your niece." The word felt like ash in my mouth. "And the feelings I have then mean nothing... you should care about yourself now."
The crack of his palm hitting the table made me jump, the dishes rattling a sharp, discordant symphony. It was the first time he'd ever raised his voice at me, the first time I'd ever seen this version of him—unraveled and dangerous.
"*Stop* calling me 'uncle' like that." The growl was low, animalistic, his chest heaving as if he'd been running. "You think I haven't *seen* how you look at me? How *I* look at *you*?" His eyes burned into mine, stripping away every pretense, every carefully constructed wall. "God, kitten... we're both liars."
Kitten. The old pet name, from a time when his touches were chaste and his protectiveness simple. Now it sounded like a confession, a secret pact. The air was too thick to breathe. I stood up, my legs feeling unsteady beneath me. I had to stop this before it consumed us both.
"Uncle, we should stop here," I said, forcing a smile that felt like a crack in porcelain. "If it gets out of hand..."
I turned to leave, but his hand caught mine. His grip was desperate but gentle, his skin warm against my cold fingers. His eyes were burning coals, full of unspoken words and years of suppressed wanting.
"Then let it." The whisper was raw, stripped bare. "Let it *all* out of hand, kitten. Because pretending is *killing* me."
His thumb brushed against the frantic pulse at my wrist, a silent plea that echoed the frantic beating of my own heart. And then his arms were around me, pulling me against the solid warmth of his chest. I could feel the rapid thud of his heartbeat against my cheek, a wild drumming that matched my own.
"Let's.... let's sleep together, kitten," he whispered into my hair, his breath hot against my ear, his voice a shuddering thing. "And forget what relationship we have."
The words were a seduction and a destruction all at once. His arms tightened, possessive and pleading. "I've spent *years* trying to be what you needed... but tonight?" A rough, ragged exhale warmed my skin. "Let me be what you *want*."
His hands slid down my back, a slow, deliberate caress that promised everything and threatened to ruin everything. Panic, sharp and cold, sliced through the heat of the moment. I pushed against his chest, stumbling back a step.
"Uncle, it's dangerous..." My voice was thin, reedy. "You shouldn't say this."
The effect was instantaneous. He stumbled back as if I'd struck him, his face crumbling. He raked both hands through his hair, his expression twisted with a self-loathing so profound it was painful to witness.
"You're right—*god*, you're right." His voice cracked, raw and broken. "But tell me to stop, kitten. *Really* stop. Because I don't know if I can walk away this time."
His chest heaved like he was drowning, and for a terrifying second, something in him snapped. He moved with a speed that stole my breath, his hand closing around my wrist with a force that wasn't gentle. He pulled me toward his bedroom, his movements frantic, desperate. The click of the lock echoed in the sudden silence. He didn't throw me, but I fell back onto his bed, the comforter swallowing me. And in that moment, seeing the determined, almost wild look in his eyes, a primal fear flooded my system. My breath hitched, and I know he saw it—the pure, unadulterated terror.
He froze. Completely. His grip on my wrist went slack, falling away as if my skin had burned him. Horror flooded his expression, washing away the desire, the desperation, leaving behind a stark, sickening realization of what he was about to do.
"*No*—" He stumbled back from the bed, hands shaking so violently he could barely steady them. "Christ, what am I—" His voice broke, the sound tearing from his throat. He fumbled with the lock, finally wrenching the door open. He didn't look at me. "Go. *Please*. Before I... just *go*."
I didn't need telling twice. I scrambled off the bed, my heart hammering against my ribs, and ran. I didn't stop until I was in my room, the lock clicking into place a feeble defense against the earthquake that had just shattered our world. I slid down the door to the floor, the sobs tearing from me, loud and ugly in the empty silence.
From the other side of the apartment, a sickening thud echoed—his fist connecting with the wall. It was followed by a shattered, guttural sob that was worse than any shout.
"*Luna*—" His voice was raw with agony, muffled by the door. "I’m... I’m so sorry. *Fuck*, I’ll leave. You’ll never have to see me again."
The sound of his retreating footsteps was heavy, final, each one a nail in the coffin of what we had been.
***
The next morning, the apartment was an echo chamber of silence. It was too quiet, the kind of quiet that presses on your eardrums. I emerged slowly, every sense on high alert. He was gone. The air didn't even smell like him anymore. On the kitchen counter, a square of paper was weighted down by a key. His handwriting, usually so precise and controlled, was a mess of sharp angles and deep grooves.
*Gone to clear my head. Stay safe.*
*-V*
The pen had pressed down so hard it had torn the paper in places. I traced the ragged edge of the tear, a physical manifestation of the rupture between us. Stay safe. From what? From him? From the world? From the feeling that everything had permanently, irrevocably broken?
I got out, the need to escape the oppressive silence of the apartment outweighing my desire to hide. Uni was a blur of faces and voices that didn't penetrate the numb shell I'd crawled into. I moved through the halls like a ghost, unseen and unseeing. Later, driven by a morbid need for normalcy or perhaps just a desperate hope that he'd magically returned, I found myself walking back toward his apartment.
I never made it.
The shadow fell over me first, then the hands. Rough, impersonal. The boys from uni—the ones whose eyes had always followed me with a calculating, dirty hunger I'd learned to ignore. Panic, cold and sharp, lanced through the numbness. I struggled, but there were too many of them. A cloth, sweet and chemical, pressed over my nose and mouth. The world swam, then went black.
***
Time became a fractured, painful thing. Two weeks in a space that smelled of damp concrete, stale cigarettes, and fear. They took turns. The act was a brutal, mechanical violation, a constant reminder that my body was no longer my own. They used my phone once, my vision blurry, my fingers clumsy, to message Lara. *Not feeling well. Won't be in class for a while.* The lie was a life raft in a sea of horror, but it felt like another violation.
When they finally left me, dumping me near my neighborhood like trash, the first thing I was aware of was the silence. The crushing, complete silence after weeks of noise and pain. The second thing was the nausea, a rolling, persistent sickness that had nothing to do with hunger or fear. I stumbled home, my body aching in places I didn't know could ache. The apartment was still empty. Victor hadn't come back.
The tears didn't come at first. There was just a vast, hollow emptiness. I walked into the bathroom, my movements robotic. I turned on the shower, but I didn't get in. Instead, I sank to the floor, the cold tiles a shock against my skin. I found a rough washcloth and started scrubbing. At first, it was just a desperate attempt to feel clean, to erase the smell of them, the feel of their hands. But the scrubbing became harder, more frantic. I scrubbed until my skin burned, until it turned an angry red, until tiny beads of blood welled up from the abrasions.
"Why... why me?" The sob tore from my throat, raw and broken, echoing off the sterile white tiles. My voice was hoarse from disuse, from screams that had gone unheard. My trembling fingers pressed against my lower stomach, where a new, different kind of ache had begun to bloom. "Victor... where *are* you?"
The silence that answered was more profound, more devastating than any reply he could have given.
Exhaustion eventually pulled me from the bathroom floor. I crawled into my bed, the sheets still holding the faint, ghostly scent of his cologne. It was a cruel mockery. The bed creaked under my weight as I curled into the tightest ball possible, trying to disappear.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand, a jarring intrusion. A text from Lara lit up the screen.
*Luna, where *are* you? Answer me. *Please*.*
The words blurred as fresh, hot tears scalded my cheeks. She had been trying to reach me for days. I typed a response with shaking fingers, the letters swimming.
*Lara....* I couldn't form any other words. Just her name. Then, another sob. *I'm sorry...*
The phone slipped from my grasp, clattering to the floor. Another wave of grief, sharp and suffocating, wracked my body. The empty apartment seemed to swallow the sound whole.
Her reply was instantaneous, frantic.
*I'm coming over. *Don't move.**
Seconds later, the familiar roar of her motorcycle engine cut through the quiet street below.
***
The door burst open before I could even sit up. Lara stood there, her leather jacket still on, her face pale under the hallway light. Her eyes, usually bright with mischief, scanned the room and then landed on me. They took in my disheveled hair, the hollows under my eyes, the way I was curled in on myself. Then her gaze dropped, sharpening, zeroing in on the faint, yellowing bruises that still circled my wrists.
"*Oh god*—" Her voice cracked, all the air leaving her in a rush. She was across the room in two strides, dropping to her knees beside the bed and pulling me into a crushing hug. Her arms were tight, solid, real. "Who did this?" she demanded, her voice a low, dangerous tremor. "Tell me *who*." Her hands on my back trembled, but it wasn't from fear. It was a barely restrained, volcanic fury.
I just cried, the sobs shaking my entire frame. What were names? What would they change? "What will change who did it?" I choked out, the words muffled against her shoulder. It was a plea for her to understand the futility.
She held me tighter, her own tears warm and wet against my hair. Her voice dropped to a venomous, deadly whisper right by my ear.
"Names, Luna. *Give me names*." The words were gritted out, her fingers digging into my back with a possessive, protective intensity. "I'll burn this whole fucking city down for you."
The promise was absolute, terrifying in its ferocity. And for a fleeting second, the part of me that was still broken wanted to let her. But the larger part, the part that was just so, so tired, recoiled.
"Please don't," I begged, clinging to her. "I don't want anything. Just stay with me, Lara. Please, just stay."
She exhaled sharply, a sound of frustration and heartbreak mingled. She pressed her forehead to mine, her arms tightening their hold.
"Always," she murmured, her voice thick with unshed tears. "But this isn't over, Lu. Not until they're *gone*." Her hand came up to stroke my hair, a gesture so gentle it was at odds with the blazing rage in her eyes.
The thought of her hunting them, of more violence, more darkness, made something inside me snap. "If you want that," I whispered, my voice trembling uncontrollably, "then i...I will cut my veins."
Her reaction was instantaneous and violent. Her grip on me turned vice-like as she jerked back, her eyes wild with a panic I'd never seen in her before.
"*Don't you fucking dare*—" Her voice shattered as she grabbed my wrists, yanking my hands away from my body as if I already held a blade. "You *live*, Luna. You live and we *ruin them*." Tears streaked through the fury on her face, a testament to her own terror.
The dam broke. "NO NO.... I don't want that! Why can't anybody understand me?" The scream was ripped from somewhere deep and primal, raw and deafening in the small room.
She reacted instantly, clamping a hand gently but firmly over my mouth, pulling me back against her chest. She rocked me, her own body shaking with silent sobs.
"*I understand*," she choked out, the words a broken whisper against my hair. "But I won't let you die for *them*." She held me tighter, her next words so quiet I almost didn't hear them. "Not when I *just* got you back."
The fight left me as suddenly as it had come, leaving me boneless and exhausted. "Then please don't ask me," I whispered, my voice ragged. "And don't do anything. Please."
She exhaled a long, shaky breath, the tension slowly leaving her shoulders. She pressed a soft, lingering kiss to my temple before pulling back to cup my face in her hands. Her thumbs gently wiped the tears from my cheeks.
"Okay," she murmured, her own eyes glistening. "No names. No revenge. Just... *breathe*, Lu." Her voice cracked on the simple instruction. "We'll get through this. *Together*."
I managed a weak, trembling nod. "Yes."
She didn't let go. Instead, she climbed onto the bed proper and pulled me into her lap, wrapping both arms around me in a cocoon of safety. Her chin rested atop my head.
"Shhh... I've got you," she whispered, rocking us gently back and forth. "We'll sit here as long as you need. Just *feel* me, Lu. You're not alone."
And I did. I focused on the steady, solid beat of her heart against my ear—a rhythm, an anchor in the storm that had become my life. We stayed like that until exhaustion pulled us both into a fitful, tangled sleep.
***
The next day, her determination was a quiet, steady force. She didn't ask again. She just guided me, her hand a constant, reassuring pressure on my back. The hospital was a blur of bright lights and soft voices. I answered questions numbly, letting Lara handle the words when mine failed. Then came the examination, the blood test, the wait.
The doctor, a woman with kind eyes and a gentle voice, came back into the room with a chart. She looked from me to Lara, her expression carefully neutral.
"The blood test confirms it," she said softly. "You're pregnant."
The word hung in the sterile air, a final, irrevocable verdict. Pregnant. A life growing inside me, conceived in violence, a permanent scar from the darkness. Lara's hand found mine, squeezing so tight it was almost painful. Her grip was the only thing holding me to the earth as the room seemed to tilt on its axis. The silence stretched, dense and suffocating, filled with the terrible weight of that single, devastating word.
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