I Stopped Waiting for You

Celeste jolted awake, her chest heaving as though her lungs had only just remembered how to work.

A sharp gasp tore from her dry throat, like she had just broken free from something that had been choking her for a long, long time.

Huff.... huf...

Her trembling fingers clutched the red bedsheet tightly. Her eyes darted around the room, wide and hollow with fear, while cold sweat soaked her forehead.

Out of instinct, she pressed her hands roughly against her stomach... searching for the life she thought was still there,

"My baby.... where's my baby...."

And only to find a terrifying emptiness. Her eyes began to sting. She still remembered something that had shattered her completely.

"Where am I...."

The words came out trembling from her throat. As though it had been ages since she last heard her own voice.

Across from the large bed stood a tall mirror. Her vanity mirror, the one she had always used. In its reflection, a face stared back at her, framed by long, softly waving hair in a faded shade of violet.

Celeste stared, transfixed by every strand of it, looking so full of life, no longer dull and tangled the way it had been in her final days as the discarded Empress.

She ran her fingers slowly through her hair, feeling a softness that broke her heart a little, because she knew that this beauty was nothing more than decoration for a golden cage waiting to trap her all over again.

Yet her face looked brighter somehow, even as her eyes remained completely empty.

She tossed aside the blanket covering half her body. Her feet touched the cold marble floor. Without a second thought, she ran barefoot toward the vanity mirror. Desperate. Her legs, as though they had forgotten what it felt like to walk, gave out beneath her.

Pak!!.

The sound was quiet, but the red bruise it left on her skin was not. Her knees felt useless. She crawled the rest of the way to the mirror, dragging herself forward with one arm. Slowly, she pulled herself up and sat on the cold stool.

Isn't this.... what my face looked like before... that woman came and took everything from me...

She murmured. She cupped her own face in her hands and stared, unblinking. Her lips, her skin, her eyes. The hollowness that had once carved into her cheeks had filled back in. She looked almost young again.

No more cracked, peeling lips. The eyes that had always been swollen from crying were now clear again, though a thousand griefs still lived quietly behind them.

She sat there, stunned. All this time, as Empress.... she had never once cared for herself. Food, sleep, water, none of it had mattered.

There had only ever been one thing she wanted.... the love of a husband who had never once seen her as his wife.

Even knowing that man would never change, still....

Could he not have given me even the smallest piece of himself??...

It had all been because she was too desperate, reaching for a love that was never meant for her.

Unrequited love truly is the cruellest kind of pain...

She whispered softly. Tears rolled cold down her cheeks. She steadied herself and stood, slowly, until the mirror reflected back her slim figure, her white sleep gown settling gently around her.

Her feet carried her toward the quiet balcony. She stared out at nothing in particular, watching horse carriages pass in and out below. The sound of maids chattering on the lower floors barely reached her. The cool evening wind grazed her face softly. Her long hair swayed along with it.

She exhaled slowly, heavily.

Haih.....

Without warning, her nose caught something, a rich scent of musk and expensive sandalwood.... a scent she had once adored, the scent that always meant he had come home. The scent of the man she had loved the most.

It was as though she could feel the presence of someone she knew all too well.

"Celeste?"

That low, rough voice broke the silence of the balcony. Celeste froze. The heart that had felt dead moments ago suddenly slammed against her ribs with a fear that was almost violent.

Slowly, she turned, and there stood Caspian. He looked impossibly perfect, even more striking than she remembered, but his eyes were as cold as ever as they settled on her.

PAK PAK PAK

His footsteps echoed through the room. In an instant he was standing directly in front of her, staring down at her, sharp and unreadable. The same as always.

That look made her despise him even more than she already did.

"Why are you here?..." Celeste said, her voice flat and cold, and turned her face away. Her whole body felt weak. She knew no matter how hard she tried to appear unbothered, she always seemed to fall apart in front of him.

Not now, please, not now....

She pleaded silently. But Caspian said nothing. He simply stared. Slowly, Celeste turned to look back at him as he stood there before her, perfectly still.

Her eyes wavered for just a moment....

...those eyes....

Celeste could tell. His eyes looked as though they were hesitating, as though, they were asking something of her. But she already knew how this went. So she shifted her gaze toward the wide open bedroom door, where a woman in a fancy dress stood waiting, as though she had been expecting Caspian's return all along.

"Which one is it this time.... a beggar? Someone you picked up off the street??..."

Celeste said it with a look of pure distaste. Caspian went quiet. Usually, Celeste would cry or raise her voice whenever she saw him with another woman.

But that cold stare, that look of contempt.... it was as though she were looking at something revolting, not at the man she had once worshipped.

The hand that had been hanging at her side came up, and she crossed her arms, watching Caspian with a calm that clearly confused him. Her reaction was nothing like what he had been expecting.

You're not angry?....

Caspian asked, his voice low and quiet. Celeste lifted her shoulders quickly.

" For what...??"

Celeste shot back, eyes briefly scanning the woman at the door who looked like she wanted to disappear into the wall. But still,

"Shameless..."

She muttered under her breath.... only for it to slip halfway past her lips. Caspian's eyes went wide, and then his hand moved without much thought and landed lightly on her small cheek.

Pap!!

Her face tilted slightly to the side. Celeste was quiet. Then slowly, she turned back to face Caspian, whose breathing was no longer steady.

She let out a small laugh. She looked at him with nothing but contempt and hatred burning in her eyes. Caspian stood there, unable to move.

The pair of eyes that had always adored him, always chased after him through tears, now stared at him with a depth of emptiness he had never known.

There was a flash of hatred there that he had never seen before, as though the flame that had lived in Celeste's eyes for so long had gone out completely, leaving behind only cold ash.

For just a moment, Caspian's eyes trembled. In the pale violet of her irises, he saw his own reflection, and what looked back at him was not a great Emperor, but a monster.

Something uncertain stirred in his chest. The hand that had just struck her twitched slightly upward, as though it regretted itself.

But he did not understand what was happening inside him. And then,

"I wonder, Caspian.... is this the same hand you'll use to kill me one day? Or are you saving your strength for the woman at the door?"

Celeste wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth with her thumb. Those pale violet eyes stared straight into his, without a single tear.

"Go ahead and slap me again. After all, that's the only thing you know how to do whenever you feel like you're losing an argument, isn't it?"

Caspian's mouth went shut. He had no idea what to say. Before, whenever he did something that hurt Celeste, there had always been a part of him that almost enjoyed watching her react. But now,

The face in front of him felt like a stranger's.

"...silent now?... Caspian, you're really always like this..." Celeste said, her voice sharp and cutting.

Celeste turned back to the balcony, putting her back to both Caspian and the woman at the door as though they were nothing more than dust beneath her feet.

"Leave, Caspian. Take that woman out of my sight before I lose my patience "

Her voice was calm. But cold enough to root him to the spot.

For the first time in the entire history of their marriage, it was not Caspian who left Celeste in tears. It was Celeste who drove the Emperor out, with nothing but disdain.

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