1.1 Senja's Presence

Morning feels quiet and melancholic, drizzle falling in a melodious rhythm, each drop tapping softly against the ground.

  Cold air cuts through the warmth of my body, sharp enough to reach my bones.

  Still, it doesn’t stop students from heading to school, chasing their future like it’s just another day.

  I walk with my arms wrapped around myself. I rub my arm now and then. A few students pass by me.

  “Brr….” My body shivers. Well, I'm not suprised—I’m only wearing a male school uniform, no jacket or sweater.

  Then my gaze shifts to him.

  Langit…

  He walks alone, wearing only a white jacket, and hood pulled up over his head.

  His walk is slightly hunched, head lowered.

  Seems like he has no energy today.

  Worried....

  I want to get closer, but I stop myself when I remember what happened a few months ago.

  “Ah… forget it… I’ll just follow from behind…,” I say in my heart and hold back my own movements.

  Step by step, I move carefully. I don’t want him to notice me.

  However, suddenly he stops….

  My body stiffens. Fear haunts me.

  I run into a nearby alley.

  “Aish, why am I even hiding? He can’t see me, right?” I curse at my own stupidity.

  How could I forget that I’m already dead.

  Yes… dead….

  I was hit by a reckless car on the road. Unfortunately, the car ran away without any consequences.

  “Hah, why do I have to remember that accident…,” I mutter, shaking my head slightly as I try to peek out from behind the alley wall.

  Is he gone?

  I see him turn his head back for a moment before turning forward again and walking on.

  Strange. There’s no one behind him except me before that….

  “Don’t tell me… he knows he’s being followed…” I mutter again, slightly uneasy.

  Nah… impossible. That’s only a coincidence, right?

  I watch him and quickly follow as he walks farther away.

  We walk separately, a few meters apart. I keep watching him, my steps gradually quickening, matching the ticking of the clock—each second pushing forward, moving on.

  Just like his future keeps moving ahead.

  And I…

  I stop. Becoming the past.

  It hurts.

  My steps come to a halt. I realize I’m no longer with him.

  For a moment, I can’t move. I can’t even speak to call his name, to make him look back, to let him know… I’m here.

  But would he even hear me…? See me…? Or even just feel that I exist…?

  “Am I… stopping here…?” I say quietly.

  Langit, he is... getting farther away. Unreachable.

  “Hah….” I let out a long breath into the air, tilting my head up, staring at the sky covered in gray clouds.

  “I need to focus… My goal is to make sure he’s okay….” I mumble a little louder, steadying my resolve.

  I’m walking again, heading straight to his school.

  So, crowded. Students rush in, running into the building.

  And, Langit? Probably, he’s already inside.

  The drizzle gets heavier. I quicken my steps and move inside.

  “Luckily I didn’t get caught in the rain…” I mutter, glancing at the rain from inside.

  Students start filling the school hallway, heading to their respective classrooms. And I get swept along in the flow, carried all the way to his classroom on the second floor.

  This is not part of the plan. I didn’t intend to follow him all the way to class, since we go to different schools. Or… not really.

  I only transferred to another school two months ago. Right after we argued.

  Even my uniform is still the old one, because the new one is still being processed.

  But going into the classroom isn’t possible.

  I don’t want to cause any disturbance.

  "Hmmm... What should I do...? This makes my head hurt...."

  Instead of going in, I just stand in front of his classroom, arms crossed, frowning.

  Go inside... Not....

  My mind spins between two choices.

  Tuk... Tuk... Tuk....

  Footsteps of high heels, quite loud, reaching my ears. Not far away, a beautiful woman in a yellow blouse with her hair tied up is walking.

  Seems she’s going to Langit’s class.

  "Better I leave first...." I decide to hide from that woman into the corridor beside his classroom.

  Here, no one will see me.

  This corridor is quiet, while every classroom is noisy.

  Screams. Jokes. Laughter. Cheers, even curses... all overlapping.

  Sounds alive.

  Not like where I am standing right now.

  Separated and cold.

  I shake my head, trying to push away the pain spreading in my chest.

  It seems that teacher has already entered the class. Quietly, I peek outside.

  Empty.

  Slowly I step out of the corridor, bent over slightly, then stop.

  Peeking from behind the classroom window, my eyes immediately land on Langit sitting in the corner row, fourth seat.

  Langit... he looks different.

  His face is paler than usual. Is he sick?

  Anxious. Langit... he makes me worried....

  He might really get sick if he keeps this up.

  My gaze drops. Slowly I step back from the classroom window, lost in thought, turning away while staring blankly toward the school field from up here.

  My attention is pulled when a young man suddenly runs in from the school gate, crossing the field in a hurry, straight ahead.

  Maybe he’s heading to the other building.

  But something makes me freeze. He turns his head. His eyes land directly on me.

  "He... is looking at me....?"

  A sudden gust of wind hits when our eyes meet.

  No mistake. I’m sure he saw me. He keeps staring at me for a few moments before finally looking away.

  Who is he?

  “I need to find out...!”

  Without thinking twice, I decide to go down from the second floor and head to the other building.

  “Maybe he can help me...,” I think, holding on to that hope.

  And Langit doesn’t need to be sad....

  I rush down the stairs, heart pounding, then run into the other building.

  He’s still in sight. Good, I haven’t lost his trail. But I have to be careful. Don’t stand out, and don’t make him suspicious or misunderstand.

  Calm. Just stay calm....

  No aggression, but stay focused.

  He turns a corner, I move into a light run to close the distance.

  But… he’s tricking me. He is already standing there, turning his body like he was waiting for me.

  I’m caught. My eyes widen as he stares at me sharply, arms crossed across his chest.

  I instinctively take a few steps back.

  “Annoying. So you’ve been following me?” He says, sounding clearly displeased.

  I blink a few times. He’s really talking to me, right?

  A slight doubt creeps in. Hesitation. I glance around, just in case there’s someone else here—but no. Only me. So that means he’s….

  My gaze returns to him.

  “You… can see and talk to me?”

  “Tch… who else do you think I’m talking to, huh?”

  That confirms it. He really does see me.

  A smile spreads across my face.

  “Thank goodness….” I say in relief.

  “Enough. Now tell me who you are, and why you’re following me?” His tone is sharp. It doesn’t matter. I don’t mind, as long as there’s a chance, he can help me.

  “I’m Senja… I want to ask for help… to deliver a message to someone….”

  His brows furrow slightly, but he remains still.

  “His name is Langit… his class is in the building next to this one,” I say, starting to explain. “There are some things I didn’t get to say and explain because we fought the last time….” I lower my head and let out a small laugh at myself.

  “Will you help me…?” My eyes start to get teary.

  Please… help Langit. I can’t see him like this. I’m worried he might—

  “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

  What? He can’t?

  The hope that just rises collapses again instantly.

  The young man turns his back on me and walks into the classroom.

  “I can’t give up… he’s my only hope now!”

  Of course, I go after him right away.

  But there’s not much I can do—either wait outside or try to bother him while he’s studying in class.

  I’m bored.

  Second after second ticks by. I keep staring at the clock on the classroom wall, growing more and more impatient.

  “This is taking forever…,” I mutter, letting out a quiet sigh as I stand right by the doorway.

  He glances over every now and then, like he’s making sure I’m still here.

  He thinks I’d leave after just one rejection?

  Hah. Not that easy.

  I know he’s trying to ignore me, pretending to stay focused on his writing.

  “Hmmmmm….” I rest my chin on my hand.

  Is there anything I can do to get his attention?

  Aha! An idea suddenly comes to me. What if I do something weird?

  “Alright, I’ll try it!” I raise a fist into the air, my chest surging with excitement.

  A moment later, I put it into action.

  The first thing I do is jog in place, flashing him a wide smile.

  He only glances over for a moment—I even wave—but…

  His gaze shifts back to the board.

  Looks like he’s doing it on purpose.

  If he keeps looking away from the door, then I don’t have a choice.

  I’ll make him look at me.

  I walk into the classroom and stop right in front of the board.

  His eyes widen. Our gazes meet. I smile and give him a small wave.

  “Hi…,” I say, trying to sound friendly.

  He jolts up from his seat—almost falling over.

  Everyone turns to look at him.

  “Mata, what’s wrong?” the female teacher asks, her brows furrowing as she looks at him. She walks past me.

  “Don’t look so shocked, I just want to talk to you…,” I say softly, almost like a whisper—even though I know no one else can hear me but him.

  “Go away. I don’t want to talk!” The young man I know as “Mata” swats his right hand toward me.

  “Mata! Don’t act carelessly!” the woman snaps, glaring with her hands on her hips.

  Looks like she’s about to explode.

  “Ma’am, not you—I mean—ugh….” He scratches his head awkwardly. “Sorry, Ma’am…,” he adds, lowering his head slightly.

  “Watch it. If you do that again, I’ll have you stand outside!” the teacher fires back in a threatening tone.

  He shoots me a sharp look and mutters something under his breath. I can’t hear it, but I’m sure he’s cursing. Heh….

  Now I know what to do.

  The corner of my lips lifts. I step back in front of the board—this time, deliberately blocking what he’s looking at.

  He starts to get restless. Clicking his tongue a few times, then slowly rising from his seat, shifting left and right, trying to find a gap to see through.

  Meanwhile, I stay right there in front of the board, posing like a model.

  “Arrrghhh!!” He finally snaps. “Can you move away from the board? You’re so annoying, you damn ghost!” The whole class turns toward him at once, startled.

  Mata. The young man stands there, pointing at the board—more precisely, at me—holding back a growl.

  His face turns red, while the teacher in front of him is already staring wide-eyed.

  “MATAHARI!”

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A/N

Matahari means \= Sun, bright sun

Langit means \= Sky

Senja means \= Dawn

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