The Truth He Was Afraid to Name

Hong lowered his voice even more, making sure no one else could hear.

“You know my past, right?” he whispered to Tui.

Tui didn’t react, but his eyes softened slightly.

Hong continued, his voice shaking a little.

“How long it took me to move on from that boy… you know, right?”

A pause.

Hong swallowed hard. “And now… how can I just forget all that and… feel something again?”

Tui looked at him quietly, understanding what he wasn’t fully saying out loud.

Hong’s fingers tightened at his side.

“It’s not that simple for me.”

For a moment, Tui didn’t speak. He just watched Hong struggle with words he had carried alone for so long.

Finally, Tui replied softly, “I know.”

Another pause.

Then, more carefully, he added, “But not every feeling that comes into your life is meant to replace the past.”

Hong looked down, silent.

Flashback – Hong’s Past

When Hong was in 10th grade, things were much simpler—or at least, they felt that way.

He had a close friend whose house he used to visit often. At first, it was just for homework, hanging out, normal school life.

But slowly… that wasn’t the real reason anymore.

His friend had an older brother.

And somewhere between small conversations, passing glances, and quiet moments in the hallway, Hong started developing feelings he didn’t fully understand.

He didn’t tell anyone.

He just found excuses to visit more often… just to see him.

At first, it felt harmless.

Until one day, everything changed.

That evening, when Hong came over like always, something felt different.

His friend wasn’t around.

Instead, his friend’s brother called him into the room.

Hong hesitated for a second but still followed.

The door closed behind him.

For a moment, there was silence.

Then, in a low voice, the boy said,

“I know you like me.”

Hong froze.

His heart started racing, his thoughts completely blank.

Before he could even react properly, the boy stepped closer and added softly,

“I… like you too.”

It was everything Hong had wanted to hear.

And maybe that’s why he didn’t question it.

He believed him.

The next day changed everything.

At school, whispers started.

Students were staring. Some were laughing. Others were just watching silently.

Hong didn’t understand at first… until he saw it.

Photos.

Private moments—shared without his knowledge.

His chest tightened.

Before he could even process it, the boy stood in front of others and said loudly,

“He forced me.”

Those words echoed louder than anything else.

Hong felt like the ground disappeared under his feet.

He tried to speak, to explain—but no one listened.

No one asked.

They had already decided.

After that day, everything changed.

The looks. The judgment. The silence from people who once called him a friend.

Trust became something distant.

Something dangerous.

And that was the moment Hong learned—

Sometimes, love doesn’t break you slowly.

Sometimes, it shatters you all at once

present

Hong finally looked at Tui, frustration and confusion mixing in his eyes.

“Try to understand me… it’s not that easy, you know,” he said quietly.

Tui nodded, not arguing, just listening.

“I know,” he replied calmly. Then after a pause, he added,

“But Nut is not him. Don’t forget that.”

Hong didn’t respond.

Tui continued, his voice softer now but steady,

“He’s… different. You know that. All of us do.”

For a moment, Hong’s expression shifted—like he wanted to believe it, but something inside him was still holding back.

Tui took a small step back, giving him space.

“But in the end,” he said, “it’s your choice. What you want to do… or what you’re too afraid to do.”

Hong looked away again, his thoughts louder than anything around him

Tui watched him for a moment… then stepped a little closer, lowering his voice.

“What if Nut also likes you…?” he whispered.

Hong froze.

For a second, he didn’t even breathe.

His eyes slowly lifted, almost as if he was afraid of the answer forming in his own mind.

“That’s not…” he started, but the words didn’t come out right.

“That’s not possible.”

But even as he said it, his gaze drifted—instinctively—toward Nut...

Hong’s chest tightened.

Tui didn’t look away from him. “You really believe that?” he asked quietly.

Hong swallowed, forcing himself to look back at Tui.

“If he did…” he said slowly, almost unsure of his own voice,

“…then it would be even harder.”

Tui’s expression softened.

“Or maybe,” he replied, “it would finally be honest.”

Hong didn’t answer.

Because for the first time, the fear wasn’t just about his past anymore—

It was about what could be real… right in front of him.....

There is also some reason okay...you don’t forget what happened back in the past. He is a straight guy, okay? Do you remember Phi’Flim, who collaborated with us for the MV?” Hong said, his voice tense.

“Nut was hugging her like he loved her. William also knows it, so stop thinking that he can like me—he can’t,” Hong continued.

“And at that time, I used to think I liked him… I was sure then,” he added quietly.

“You even scolded me because I hurt him back then,” Hong said, looking down.

“So I was about to go and fix it… but when I saw them hugging, I already lost it. I didn’t know what to do… so I just turned away,” he admitted.

He still liked him, but he buried those feelings deep inside, hiding them as if they had never existed. Yet no matter how much Hong tried to act normal, Tui could still see through him—because Tui knew the truth.

Tui stayed silent for a moment, then said softly, “You keep saying he can’t… but your heart never agreed with your words.”

Hong’s breath hitched.

And for the first time, he had no answer....

Tui sighed and said, “I already knew this was your real reason right now, not the past. Back then, it was your school-time fear, but that was before. Now it’s different—it’s about Nut. Don’t mix your past reason with what’s happening now.”

Hong looked away and said, “Some things are better left unsaid.”

Tui frowned slightly. “Not when it’s hurting you like this.”

Silence fell between them again. Hong didn’t respond this time. He simply stood there, eyes distant, as if carrying a weight he still wasn’t ready to put into words.

Tui watched him for a moment longer, then let out a quiet breath—realizing pushing further wouldn’t make him speak.

Sometimes, the truth didn’t come when asked… it came when the heart was finally ready.

And for Hong, that moment still hadn’t arrived...

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