FIRST LIFE OF MERO

In the 22 years of my life, I had never faced an accident until that moment.

Everything happened so suddenly. One second I was walking, and the next, I was standing in the middle of the road, frozen. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. My body refused to respond, as if time itself had stopped just for me.

All I could think about… was death.

And in that terrifying stillness, it felt like I could see the angel of death slowly approaching me…

I am Mero. I am 22 years old, and my life is about to change after this moment.

In my life, I only have my father.

I used to have a mother… and a brother too. But unfortunately, I lost them both. My mother committed suicide when I was only five years old. At that age, I didn’t even understand what death truly meant. I just knew that she was gone… and she was never coming back.

I don’t know what a mother’s love feels like. I don’t remember being held, comforted, or loved the way other children are. There’s always been this quiet emptiness inside me something I could never explain, no matter how hard I tried.

After that, everything in our lives changed.

When I was five, my father took everything upon himself. The weight of the entire world fell on his shoulders, yet he never complained. He never remarried he chose us over everything else. Over his own happiness.

My brother was three years older than me. At first, my father thought of sending us to our mother’s family, hoping they could raise us better. But they said they would only take my brother… not me.

That moment changed something in him.

He refused.

He chose both of us.

And just like that, it became the three of us me, Baba, and my gēge (older brother), in a small house filled with quiet struggles and unspoken love.

Now, this story goes back to my teenage years… before my gēge died.

It was 7 o’clock in the morning.

The soft morning light barely touched the room when Baba came in to wake us up. His voice was gentle, but firm the kind of voice that carried both warmth and responsibility.

I was in grade 4, and my gēge was in grade 8.

“Mero… wake up,” Baba said softly.

I buried my face deeper into the pillow, my voice muffled and heavy with sleep.

“Baba… I don’t want to go to school. I’ve been a regular student… just let me sleep today, please… I want to miss school…”

There was a small pause.

Then Baba chuckled quietly a soft, tired laugh that carried years of patience.

“Maybe next time, Mero. Now get up. You’re going to be late.”

There was no escaping that voice.

After a lot of slow movements and quiet complaints, I finally dragged myself out of bed. My eyes were still half-closed as I got ready, moving like a sleepy ghost through the room.

But then something caught my eye.

My gēge… was still sleeping.

I immediately pointed at him, my voice rising in protest.

“Baba! Zǐháo is still sleeping! Why did I have to wake up first?!”

My voice echoed louder than I intended.

Gēge stirred, clearly annoyed, his eyes barely opening.

“Because…” he muttered lazily, “you take two hours to get ready, and I only need five minutes.”

I froze for a second.

…He wasn’t wrong.

Zǐháo had always been faster than me at everything. Smarter, quicker, calmer. While I was always the slow, sleepy one.

Still… it wasn’t fair.

After that small chaos, we sat down for breakfast.

The house was quiet again, except for the soft clinking of plates.

But mornings were never easy for me.

I had a problem with morning sickness. Just the smell of food sometimes made my stomach turn. I pushed the food around my plate, trying not to draw attention.

Because I knew… if I ate, there was a high chance I would throw up on the way to school.

So I avoided it.

Like always.

Soon, we stepped outside.

The morning air was cool, carrying a faint silence that felt oddly comforting. Our house was far from school, so we had to wait for the transport every day.

I stood there quietly, still half-asleep, while Baba watched over us his eyes always alert, always protective.

When the transport finally arrived, I didn’t say anything.

No greetings.

No smiles.

Nothing.

I just walked in, took my seat by the window… and fell asleep almost instantly.

As if the world around me didn’t exist.

To be continued…

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