CHAPTER 1

Everything is black. Where am I ? Who am I ?...

Ah... I remember, although I pray every day to forget that nightmare. Why does it still hurt? Why do I feel so empty? Maybe ... I'm still in that room ... Ah it hurts like hell. I want to forget, I want to move on, I want to ... I want to ... live!! .... Then why do I fall...?!

Ring! Ring! Ring ! ( The phone stoped from ringing)

Chapter 1 - Who am I ?

-So how do you feel? Do you still have nightmares?

-Mmm ... I feel good. I don't have nightmares anymore, I think everything is ok now... I think our meetings are coming to an end.

-....

Irene, how long have we had these meetings?

-I'd say for many, many years ... too many if you ask me. I think I started when I was 19.

-And how old are you now?

-Are you really asking me that?

-....

-I am 25.

-Exactly. I think after 6 years you should be able to talk more freely with me. I'll tell you the truth, we made some progress in the first year, but nothing since then, not to mention that you don't even want to mention that night.

Sigh...

I'll give you some advice, not from a psychologist, but from a friend. I know it hurts, but if you don't open your heart and you don't talk about what you went through when you were still in that house and with those people, you won't feel better, you'll still be chained and you will live that nightmare again and again. I think it's best to talk to someone close if you can't with me, someone you trust and who will help you heal. You spent too much time from your life "there", leave everything behind and live the way you want, without being tied to the past.

-I know...

Riiiiing, ring, ring ( the phone is ringing)

-Hello ? Ah, yes ! I'll be right there! Yes, yes... I understand !

Sorry, something come up and I have to leave. Let's talk about this next week! Ah.. and as always, it was a pleasure !!

-Well... Okay, see you next week !

*On the way to the car*

Tsk.... why is she telling me all this again? I understand, I need to talk about this, but who would be able to talk about their trauma so freely? No one...

Hmmm (looking at the sky) the sky today is beautiful and clear .... it will be a good day. Let's have a good time today, Irene, as usual, be strong.

Today's meeting was tiring. Mrs. Antel has not changed, she is annoying as always.

I'm too tired to think about that too .. Ah, the job at the company has become more and more difficult, that's what I should think about now !

Now that I think about it ... I should thank Leo for calling me ... he saved me this time too. I can't believe that psychologist is so cool ... well ... that's why I chose to have meetings with her and get help from her, even though I don't seem to be on the right track ... maybe I'll give up the meeting for a while, I have too much work anyway.

*To the company*

(End of the meeting)

-Hello ! Excuse me for the inconvenience, Mr. Park! It's a pleasure to meet you in person!

-Yes, the pleasure is on my side, President Irene Cox!

( handshake )

- (smile) I hope we will have a good collaboration.

-Yes, I hope so too!

-So how did it go? Did you conclude the contract?

-How do you think it went?

-Hmmm ... knowing you, I think it went well.

-Of course, you just know me. Everything went perfectly !!!(smiling)

-Well .. I'm glad then, how about we go out tonight and celebrate? After all, it's a contract worth millions.

-Good idea, that's why you are the director of this company, Leo !

-Hahaha ... I'm glad at least I'm competent to make you happy and not at the job of director!

-Who says that ? You are one of the best directors ... that's why I chose you (grin)!

-How about we talk with Olivia, Ava and Arthur to come with us ?

-That will be perfect !!! After all, we are the ones who run the DG Company, we shoud party some time !(smirk)

-Yeah. Who would have thought we would get so high ?!

-Yep.. we are awsome!!!

-Hahahah!!!

*At the dinner party*

-I heard you saw Mrs. Antel again !

-Mmmm.

-And ? How did it go?

-Usual.. (looking at her phone)

-So I understand you're not making progress?

-Sigh ...(put her phone down). I don't know why I can't do it .. Arthur, maybe....

-Maybe you still don't trust her?

-I don't think that's it, in the end I didn't tell you everything either and you are like a family to me...

-We're sorry we can't help you with anything...

-Ahh, Ava, don't worry ... it's up to me, not those around me. And to be honest, if it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't have done anything with my life.

-I think you're exaggerating now just to make us feel better.... (sad)

-It's not true, Arthur, you are the ones who helped me to heal, to love again and to trust the people around me ... I tell you honestly, at this moment I am counting on you and I see you like a family.

-Ah ... you made me cry!!! (sobbing)

-Don't cry, my dear sister Olivia! Hehe

-Hahah, I love you, Irene. And I see you as a sister too!

-I'm glad ! (smile gently)

*After some hours*

-Sorry guys.. I think I need to go home

-Why, are you not feeling well ?

-No, Leo. I'm just a little bit tired. I need some sleep.

-Oh.. okay, then call us when you arrive home!

-Yes, yes ! See you, have a nice weekend! (wave, wave )

-Every time I think about what she had to endure in those years while she was with them ... my heart breaks (she clenched her fist, with tears in her eyes)

-So are we, Olivia, but we have nothing to do.

-Yes ... I know that, Leo, but still ...

-Let's think about it, we're at this stage and we don't even know everything, that is, what she went through that night if she can't tell us, even though she told us a lot of horrible things.. !!

-I think you're right, Arthur (sobbing)...

-I don't think it's time to start crying, Ava, we need to be strong for her ... to be honest, I think the reason she can't tell us everything is because she's worried about us.

-Yes, I think so, Leo !

Let's remember how we all 4 reacted when we heard her story for the first time...

-Yeah ..

-And yet, look here, all 5 of us are the founding members of DG, we are like a small family!!!

-Haha !!

-To remain the same forever!!

-May time not change us --

Cheers !!!

*At home*

Water drains easily over her thin body. The steam from the water makes her white skin glow even brighter. Her long black hair fits perfectly on her back.

-Ah ... that's why I didn't want to talk to them about this. Every time someone tries to talk about my past, I see their pity and pain in their eyes ... In all this years I have only received from them, I don't want to give them back pain and regrets.

Sigh ... I'm so tired ... I just want to sleep once and forget everything, that's why I hate psychologist meetings, as if the whole past catches up with me every time Mrs. Antel tries to dig into it.

*In the night*

RUN !! RUN !! RUN !!

Who is the one who is telling me to run ? But where am I ?

Ah... I need to open my eyes !!

Hah, hah!!! I'm tired. My hole body is in pain, i think my heart is ready to jump out of my chest..

I'm bleeding... No, wait... My hands... this blood is not from me.

Then.... why why I have so much blood on me ?

Ah, they will catch me.. NOO ! I need to run... Yes, if I can go back to him.. He will help me, I know he will...He still care about me...

RUN !! RUN!! RUN!!!!!

Ah.. this voice again..

Yes, I remember now... I need to run, if they catch me they will take me back to that room... I can't go back there.. in that hell.. Yes I prefer to die then go back there...

So just RUN !!!!!

They will... they will catch me ..!!!!! NO, NO NO...

NOOOOOO !!!!! ( wakes up )

AH, AH... HUH, HUH !!!

Sigh... that nightmare again... calm down, it's over... just calm down ... breath, just breath... !(talking to herself)

I can't believe I still have this kind of dreams...

Why? I'm not that girl anymore.. so why ?

..Now I'm so far from that life, everything is different, but the pain ... why am I still in pain? Why ???

If the past doesn't let me go and the present isn't enough to get me out of the darkness .... Then ... who the hell am I? Why am I still struggling?

Someone tell me ... who am I?

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