Strange Beginnings

"Ugh... What happened?"

My head's throbbing and my body feels like lead. No, seriously, what happened? And why is my back so sore? Then I realize that I'm on the ground.

Wasn't I sitting on a couch? How did I...?

I slowly open my eyes and flinch at the blinding light of the sun. There, standing over me, is a person. I can't really make them out.

I blink a few times to clear my vision and... Uh... I think I might be dreaming?

For starters, this woman is quite literally geometric. Or well, kind of geometric? One half of her is very cartoonish?

And that's not all. One side of her face is a bright red and the other a whitish bluish color. Her eyes are triangles, and most notably, her head, torso, and arms are just floating.

I sit up and get awarded with an immediate stab of pain. Fun.

"Um, hi?" I rasped. I grimace at how dry my throat is.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance. Did you sleep well?" The woman asked.

I try to hide my surprise. Despite looking like a woman, she sounds like a man. Actually, that's terrible. What's wrong with me-

"Er, I guess? Where am-"

"Would you like to hear an offer that could change your life?" The woman said.

I stare at the woman like an idiot. Please tell me she's not some kind of shady person...

"My personal philosophy is that people have the potential to become something great, and I can see that potential in you, just waiting to flourish!"

I couldn't even get a word in before she continued.

"I would be most delighted in helping you to become a better version of yourself. Of course, there are a few stipulations, but we need not worry about those needless details at this moment in time."

I blink again and try to make sense of what she's going on about.

"Potential? What potential? We just met." I said.

"I can already see it!" She continued, as if she hadn't heard a single thing I said, "There might be a few bumps in the road, but that could be easily smoothed-"

"W-wait! Can't you let me talk for a second?" I interrupt. I felt another stab of pain shoot through my head and flinch.

The woman knelt besides me, which startled me a lot more than it should have, and gave me an apologetic smile.

"My, you look lost. Is there anything you need me to clarify?" She asked.

"Um, yes. A lot, actually." I said. "I don't even know your name–"

"My apologies. I may have gotten a bit too excited there... My name is ENA. I am a bit of a salesman, among other things. And you are?"

"Olivia Davidson." I said, a hint of resignation in my voice. "And a salesman? So you're a peddler or something?"

"...peddler is one way to call it, but yes. But I'd prefer it if you don't call me that." ENA said. Fair enough. "Enough about me. Let's circle back to you."

She clasped her hands together and smiled politely. I can sense a dark and foreboding feeling in the air. She's going to say more confusing crap, isn't she?

"Wait, wait, wait!" I said quickly, "Why do you want to help me?"

"As I've mentioned before, you have some untapped potential that's just waiting to blossom into something wonderful. I'd like to nourish that potential and make you into the best version of yourself!"

Potential? Me? Hah! Man, if my mom heard this, she'd be laughing her head off. But it is kind of nice that someone has faith in me... She'd change her mind soon enough. I feel a bit bad about that.

"Um, thank you. For, uh, the offer? But, I'm not the right person you–"

"Ah, don't be so unconfident!" ENA interrupted me AGAIN, "I assure you, whatever qualms you have will be easily solved. I will develop you to become a successful salesman in no time!"

My hand flew to my hoodie string and tugged on it. Why is she so pushy? It really is nice that she has so much faith in me, but my head hurts, and I'm not sure if anyone realized I'm missing or not by now.

"Ugh, could you listen to me?! Can't we talk later–"

"NO! We're talking about this now, whether you want to or not!"

My back straightens at the sudden authority in ENA's voice. Wait, why does she sound feminine all of a sudden?

"Here's the deal. You will work for me and I'll provide for you in return." ENA stood up and produced a megaphone from her chest (?!?). She bent down and yelled at me. "I've laid out my terms, so quit staring at me like some brainless idiot and give me an answer already!"

"Er... Did you just pull that out of your chest?" I squeaked.

ENA lowered the megaphone and gave me the most iciest glare ever...

... in other news, I have a job!

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