CHAPTER 4: WEIGHT OF THE SECRET

Before I could even speak, I heard a sound of laughter coming from the staircase outside and suddenly the bedroom door swung wide open. Marcus and Sfiso walked right in, both of them wearing practice rugby jacket and they didn't even looked surprised to see me sitting on Julian's bed in fact they looked like they have been expecting to see me on his room.

"Look at her," Marcus laughed. "The top student actually fell for it again, did she really thought you were going to fix things with her?"

I scrambled out of the bed and pull my tunic to hide my naked body.

"What are they doing here?" "Julian tell them to leave right now!"

Julian didn't even move, he just laughed out loud.

"Why should they leave princess?" "I've told you guys that she will come running if I cracked the door open just a little bit." "She actually believe that I care about her."

"Some girls are just too desperate to trap a guy all because of money, too bad Julian never loved you Chloe, you were just his quick distraction," Marcus said.

"That's enough Marcus, Sfiso muttered. "Julian, your uncle is downstairs in the study room and he said he want to talk to Chloe about the appointment for Saturday."

Tears finally spilled over my cheek, he had tricked me and humiliate me even further. I grabbed my bag on the floor, pushing past Julian's shoulder with every strength in me that I have left with. I didn't care about his uncle and his treat, I just get out into the dark, rainy night.

The cold night rain soaked through my school uniform as I ran away from Julian's house. "How could I be so stupid."

I blamed and hate myself, I knew what I was doing was wrong and how he was like. I have felt his rough grip on my wrist a day ago but yet the moment he acted so nice and whispered a few sweets words I completely feel for it. I let him trick me again, use my body and pull me into his friends just to prove how cheap I am and I gave him the power to ruin me again.

By the time I reached at home, I pushed the door open quietly, trying not to make any sound.

"Chloe , is that you?" My mother said walking out of her bedroom

Her face looked exhausted with deep lines around her eyes and her hands were rough from years of hard work. She works as a maid and the worst part is that she works at Julian's house. She was the one who scrubbed the floor I just stood on earlier and they treat her terrible.

"Look at you, you are wet," she said rushing over with a dry towel to dry my face. "Why are you so late from school today?" "Did the taxis delay again?"

"Yes mama," I lied. "The rain made everything slow."

She signed, "you need to be very careful Chloe, you are in grade 12 now and it is the most important year of your life, you can not afford to get sick and miss a class."

She led me over the kitchen table and poured me a cup of warm water.

"I'm warning you again my child," she said, her voice low.

"Stay away from boys, don't let any boy at school distract you." "You must focus entirely on your studies... Look at me and my condition." "I dropped out of school because I got distracted," she whispered looking at her rough hands. "I had big dreams too, Chloe but I trusted the wrong person and I ended up spending my whole life cleaning people's houses who treat me like I'm nothing." "I don't want this life for you, your books are your boyfriend for now and they are your only ticket out of this place."

Every single word she spoke felt like a knife right into my heart. She doesn't know that I have already let myself to be distracted and I'm now pregnant, I felt very dirty and guilty. My mother was sacrificing her back, health and her pride every single day just so I could be able to buy books and here I was carrying the grandchild of the very same people who treat her like a trash.

"I understand mama," I said. "I will focus on my books, I promise."

"Good," she smiled. "Now go and change those wet clothes and sleep."

The early pregnancy symptoms started hitting me so hard. Every morning, my stomach would hurt so badly and became dizzy. The smell of cooking oil my mother uses for breakfast made me want to throw up and I was tired all the time. One Tuesday morning, I was very weak and I was leaning over the kitchen sink throwing up and my mother walked in and she stopped and stared at me.

"Chloe, what is wrong with you?" "You've been weak for days and you barely touch your food," She asked.

My heart started beating fast , "it's just stress ma, the final exam are coming up."

She stepped closer staring at me and placed her hand on my forehead to check for fever and she wasn't sure what was wrong.

"Stress don't make people to throw up every morning, if this keeps going, I am taking you to the local clinic on Saturday," she said.

"No!" I said quickly and forced a fake smile. "No mama, I will just take pain killer, I am fine."

I cannot tell her the truth, if she finds out I am pregnant with Julian's child , the shock and heartbreak will kill her. It will destroy her and I decided right then that I would keep this as a secret looked far away inside until it will be visible and she notice it on her own. I just need a little bit of more time and figure out how to survive all alone without any man support not even Julian.

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