Chapter Five

He leaned in, his nose brushing gently against my cheek, and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to my jawline. His breath was warm against my skin, the stubble on his chin scratching lightly, and his hand slid up to cup the back of my neck, holding me close. His voice was low, teasing, thick with desire. “Mhm. I was gonna ask you properly on my birthday, actually. You just beat me to bringing it up, baby.”

I clutched onto the sheet under my hand so tight my knuckles turned white. My whole body was trembling, from the warmth of his mouth on my skin, from the weight of all the things he didn’t know, from the way he loved me—loved Rachel—so completely it felt like it was swallowing me whole.

He noticed the tremor that went through me and pulled back slightly, his hand moving to cup my cheek gently.

His voice softened, confused but still warm, still full of that unearned trust. “Did I do something wrong? You’re shaking, baby. Talk to me, what’s on your mind?”

“No no, Kai. It’s nothing.” I pressed my lips together, forcing my voice into the softer, lighter tone I’d practiced, the one that sounded like the Rachel he remembered. I sat up fast, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. “It’s getting late, let me help you to take shower.”

He let me pull him up, didn’t push me when I avoided his touch for half a second. His hand rested lightly on my shoulder as I walked him toward the connected bathroom, his fingers brushing slow along my arm, and that soft, trusting smile was still on his lips. I could feel the heat of his hand through my sleep shirt, could feel the weight of his reliance on me, and it was too much. It was all too much.

“Alright, baby. I’ll let you help me. You know I love when you take care of me like this.”

“Thank you for trusting me.”

The words came out quiet, rough, and I couldn’t make them any louder. My heart ached, a deep, throbbing thing behind my ribs, too much to watch him like this, too much to hold all this truth inside and let him believe a lie. I could feel how much he loved her, how deeply he’d built this whole future around her in his head, and that girl had left him the second he needed her most. The second he turned blind.

I could feel it, heavy and hot and bitter, pressing against the back of my throat.

Steam and Secrets

The warm spray of the shower hits the back of my neck, turning the glass foggy at the edges. Steam curls up to the ceiling, thick with the scent of Kai’s citrus body wash, and for a second I can’t remember how I got here—can’t remember that the woman whose voice I’m copying is somewhere else, that if Kai opened his clouded eyes and saw my face instead of hers, everything I’ve built would shatter into splinters.

A soft kiss pressed into the curve of my throat pulls me back. The vibration of his hum against my skin sends a shiver right down to my toes, and a small sound slips out before I can bite it back. His hands tighten on my waist, pulling me tighter against him, so I can feel every line of his body through the thin soaked fabric of my dress. He’s warm, solid, the water running in rivulets between us, and for a wild second I forget to be afraid. I forget everything but the weight of his hands on me, the rough scratch of his stubble against my neck.

Then he pulls back when the knock comes, and I can feel the frustration radiate off him in waves. He steps away, and the cold of the bathroom air hits my wet skin, making me goosebumps. I fumble with the hem of my dress, yanking it back into place, my cheeks burning so hot I can feel the heat radiating off them. When I pull the door open, Lucas is leaning against the frame, one ankle crossed over the other, and his smirk goes lazy when he looks me over.

“Wow,” he says, low enough that only I can hear. “Did I interrupt something good?”

My gaze drops to the toes of my shoes. The heat in my cheeks climbs higher. “No. Instead you helped me. Please don’t tell madam. She’ll get it wrong.”

He pushes off the frame and steps closer, his hand brushing lightly over my bare arm. The fabric of his sleeve is cool, a contrast to the steam still clinging to my skin. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. I won’t tell her anything, as long as you owe me a favor later, yeah?”

I look up, my brow furrowing. “Favor? What?”

His eyes flick over my shoulder, toward the shower where Kai is waiting, and his voice drops even lower. “Nothing big. I just want you to go with me to pick up Kai’s birthday cake tomorrow. I’m terrible at that kind of stuff, need a woman's opinion.”

I glance past him, to Kai standing in the spray, water running down his shoulders. His head is tilted toward us, listening, every muscle tight with irritation. “Oh sure, I’ll—” I glance back at Kai, my mouth closing before I can say anything else.

Kai says my name from the shower, sharp, still edged with that irritation. Lucas winks, presses a thick envelope into my hand, and the paper crinkles under my fingers. “I’ll pick you up at nine tomorrow morning. Don’t forget, pretty girl.”

“Sure.” I tuck the envelope behind me against the wall, out of Kai’s line of sight, then pull the bathroom door closed behind Lucas and hurry back to the shower. My heart is hammering so hard I can hear it in my ears. “Kai, I’m back.”

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