Meeting The Parents

By the time the lunch rush hit, the university cafeteria was a wall of noise.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa had managed to snag a quiet table in the corner, sitting directly across from one another.

They leaned in close, hoping to desperately use this time to iron out the details of their fake relationship before the campus gossip mill completely consumed them.

But their privacy didn't last long.

Before Oikawa could even open his mouth, two figures suddenly flanked their table. Matsukawa slid casually into the booth right next to Iwaizumi, while Hanamaki dropped his bag and took the seat beside Oikawa.

Plan entirely ruined.

Oikawa felt a cold sweat break out across his neck. He practically froze under Hanamaki's sharp, laser-focused gaze, remembering the interrogation from earlier that morning.

"So\~" Hanamaki began, leaning his chin on his hand with a dangerously pleasant smile. "Since you two are so deeply in love, have you already introduced each other to your parents\~?"

Oikawa immediately panicked, his voice jumping an octave. "It's literally only been a week, Makki! Give us a break!"

Hanamaki let out a soft chuckle, entirely unbothered by the outburst. "Of course, of course. My mistake."

Iwaizumi let out a heavy, exhausted sigh. He cracked open his cold can of coffee, took a slow sip, and set it down on the plastic table with a firm click.

Fixing Hanamaki with a deadpan stare, he cut straight to the chase. "What exactly is it going to take to get you two to stop being so damn suspicious?"

Hanamaki instantly gasped, putting a hand over his heart to feign deep, tragic betrayal.

"Suspicious..? Us..? Never." He turned his head to look at his boyfriend. "Right, Mattsun\~?"

Matsukawa stared blankly at Hanamaki for a beat, completely unreadable, before giving a slow, lazy nod. "Right."

Tired of the mind games and wanting to shut the skepticism down once and for all, Iwaizumi abruptly stood up from the table. "Good. Because it doesn't matter anyway. I'm introducing Oikawa to my parents this Saturday evening for dinner."

Oikawa's head snapped up so fast his neck popped. "Huh?!"

Even Hanamaki and Matsukawa broke their smug composure, their eyes widening in genuine surprise.

"Come on, Oikawa. Let's go," Iwaizumi commanded, already turning on his heel and walking away from the table without waiting for a response.

"Hey! Wait up!" Oikawa scrambled to grab his things, quickly throwing a nervous, defensive glance at their friends before jogging to catch up with Iwaizumi's long strides.

Once they were safely out of earshot in the crowded hallway, Oikawa drew closer, keeping his voice to a frantic, panicked whisper. "Are you out of your mind?! Are you actually going to introduce me to your parents?!"

Iwaizumi didn't even slow down. He just kept walking, hands shoved deep into his pockets, his jaw set. "Yes. The sooner they think I'm completely taken by a guy, the sooner they'll stop trying to set me up with random women."

Oikawa paused for a fraction of a second, the heavy logic of the situation sinking in. He let out a breath and nodded along, matching Iwaizumi's pace. "Right. Yeah, okay. It's a high-risk move... but I get it."

.

.

.

The rest of the day went by in a frantic blur. With exactly forty-eight hours until Judgment Day...

Oikawa went into a full-blown panic trying to find the perfect impression-making gift for Iwaizumi’s parents.

Iwaizumi, on the other hand, spent those two days brutally lowering his expectations over text, repeatedly reminding him that his parents wouldn’t care if he brought a gold-plated fruit basket, they were going to be disappointed the moment they realized he wasn't a woman.

But Oikawa didn't care. He had a reputation to uphold, and if he was going to play the role of the perfect boyfriend, he was going to do it flawlessly.

When Saturday finally arrived, Oikawa spent hours pacing in front of his mirror, rejecting outfit after outfit. By the time he finally settled on a respectable, clean-cut look and did a final, quick touch-up on his hair, the clock had already ticked to 7:00 PM.

Hurrying down to the street, he slid into the passenger seat of Iwaizumi’s car, and the tense twenty-minute drive to the suburbs began.

The silence in the car was heavy with anticipation, lasting all the way until they pulled up to the neat suburban house. They stepped out into the cool evening air, and Iwaizumi took a breath before firmly pressing the doorbell.

Heavy, hurried footsteps instantly echoed from inside. The front door swung open, and Iwaizumi’s mother stood there, her face practically radiating desperate excitement.

“Hajime\~!” she chimed, her eyes instantly darting past her son's shoulder to scan the driveway. A look of profound confusion washed over her features. “Where… where is the girl?”

Iwaizumi let out a heavy, long-suffering sigh. “When I told you I was bringing home the person I’m seeing, I meant a man.”

Before she could even process the words, Iwaizumi brushed right past her into the entryway. Reaching back, he firmly grabbed Oikawa's hand, anchoring him to his side as he marched them into the dining room.

In the adjacent room, the announcement hit like a bombshell. A loud *clack* echoed through the space as Iwaizumi's father abruptly dropped his glass onto the table.

Fortunately, it didn't shatter, but his face twisted into pure shock.

“What?! A man?!” his father bellowed, standing up.

His mother rushed in, frantically shushing her husband and trying to calm him down, whispering furiously that Hajime was probably just playing a sick joke to get back at them.

Trying to salvage the evening, they all finally sat down at the dinner table, the atmosphere thick with suffocating skepticism.

Iwaizumi sat rigidly beside Oikawa, while his parents sat directly across from them like a two-person tribunal.

His mother cleared her throat, adjusting her napkin with trembling fingers before fixing her sharp gaze on Oikawa. “So… how exactly did you two meet?”

Oikawa froze for a fraction of a second, his grip tightening on his chopsticks. *Just like we practiced,* he reminded himself, instantly pasting on his most dazzling, innocent smile.

“Oh, well, you know how these things go\~!” Oikawa started, his voice a little high but smooth. “We actually met at our university’s big sports event! I was just so incredibly impressed by how amazing Iwa-chan was on the court\~!”

Iwaizumi instantly choked, hacking as he spit his drink right back into his glass. *Iwa-chan?! What the actual hell?!* He frantically grabbed a napkin, coughing as he wiped his mouth, his face burning with a mix of rage and embarrassment.

Both of his parents stopped completely, staring blankly at Oikawa, utterly derailed by the bizarre, overly affectionate nickname.

“I see… right…” his mother muttered tightly, her forced smile straining as she aggressively stabbed a piece of steak.

Seeking a distraction, Iwaizumi’s father turned his stern gaze back to Oikawa. “Do you play sports, Oikawa?”

Oikawa didn't miss a beat, nodding gracefully. “Only when I’m asked, really. People around campus are always telling me how naturally gifted I am, so I just tend to go with the flow and help out.”

Iwaizumi slumped back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Can we please quit it with the interrogation now? We came here to eat.”

His mother shot Iwaizumi a sharp, warning glare, clearly offended by his defensive attitude. “Fine,” she said clippedly. She set her fork down, a sudden, calculating glint appearing in her eyes as she looked across the table at Oikawa.

“Oikawa can just stay the night here, then.”

Iwaizumi instantly choked on his food a second time, his head snapping up. Oikawa’s smile faltered, a look of utter, baseline confusion taking over.

“You two won’t mind sharing a bed, right?” his mother asked, her eyes closing into a sweet, fabricated smile. It was a trap, a clear test to see if they would flinch.

Oikawa swallowed hard, a nervous gulp rattling his throat. Every single alarm bell in his head was screaming about the strict rules he had explicitly established. *No sleeping in the same bed.*

But looking at the sharp, evaluating eyes of Iwaizumi's parents, he knew breaking character right now would ruin everything.

“Um… sure… why not? Thank you for having me,” Oikawa stammered awkwardly, his cheeks flushing as he quickly looked down, stuffing a massive bite of food into his mouth to avoid saying anything else.

Iwaizumi stared at him in absolute, wide-eyed betrayal. *Wasn’t he the one who made the damn rules?!*

End of Episode 4

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