that's the another part of chapter 3

"Don't trust Duang too much, Qin. He might drop you off at your dorm and sneak off to someone else's room afterward."

Bastard! Duang raised his hand to smack his troublemaking friend sitting next to him. This guy was so good at stirring things up—he better not slip up, or Duang would make sure to get back at him.

"If you hit Jet, it means you're guilty.""Why are you defending him?"

"Blah blah blah!"

"Just finish eating. We have class early tomorrow."

"Your class starts at 10:30, though."

"You're the one with class at 8:30."

"You remember my class schedule?"

The person being cared for looked innocent. He never thought Qin would remember something like that. To say it was one-sided love wasn't an exaggeration because, truthfully, he did love Qin one-sidedly. All that 'getting to know each other' stuff? You can't really rely on it.

He's tried. But sometimes, he still falls short... wanting to give even more.

"I remember."

And sometimes, Qin seems to be able to read his thoughts.

"If you can remember my schedule, then I can remember yours."

"..."

In the end, he realized this wasn't a race toward a finish line where the other person was waiting as a reward... it wasn't that at all. Instead, it was running, it was the journey, it was pushing through everything together.

Starting, moving forward, maybe falling, maybe getting up again, but through it all—

"I want to give as much as I'm getting from you."

Everything happened at the same time.

___________

Both love and hate. Yeah, that's him and jazz music. At first, he intended to major in performance music, but in the end, he chose jazz. And having to drag himself out of bed to study jazz theory in the middle of this scorching heat just made him even more irritated.

"Qin."

"What?"

"Did you see that? Your little lovebug."

"Damn, why'd you call him that? Makes him sound so cheesy."

"Well, he's always acting cute around you. My friend just ignores him like a nun swatting away temptations. Every time he flirt, you brush it off. Every time he tease, you brush it off."

Qin took the phone from his friend and saw it was a photo album on the university's Facebook page, posted just a few minutes ago.

'Duang is not picking you up today. I'm helping a friend with a photoshoot.'

Must be that. Qin thought to himself as he scrolled through the pictures.

"Whoa, there's eye contact and everything."

"He was just following the brief. Why are you stirring things up?"

"Qin doesn't care anyway."

"I do."

Qin's response made his friend stop laughing... Honestly, he didn't get why people kept saying Qin didn't care about Duang. He did care—more than anyone else. Of course he did, it's been half a year with Duang by his side.

He wasn't heartless.

"But it's just work.""Don't tell me you actually get jealous. Wow, my friend has feelings."

"I'm human." The person who is in the completely non-regulation student uniform because he is too lazy to grab a proper belt or leather shoes, rolled his eyes. Just because he only said what was necessary and showed what he could didn't mean he was heartless or cold.

After all, matters of the heart took time and he still wanted to spend more time with Duang.

Step by step... moving forward slowly.

"If Duang knew this, he would be very happy."

"Whatever."

"Still, it's sweet. No matter how much time passes, Duang still likes you.

Never gives up."

Qin looked at the projector at the front of the room as the professor pointed to old jazz instruments that he had seen before while studying for university entrance exams. How should he put it? He had seen Duang before because their tutoring places were near each other, but back then, Duang didn't notice him. He didn't think much of it either.

He remembered because they were about the same height.

He dressed well.

He was kind.

"It's not like I don't like him."

And he always walked his female friends to the train station after late classes, even though he took the bus home. That's what made Qin remember him—because he did it consistently. That kind of kindness.

The kindness that makes Qin still wanted to spend time with and prove to himself... that it would last."I like him too."

_____________

"Heyyy, Duang's sorry."

"Mm, it's fine."

"I didn't forget, really!"

"I know. You've been texting me every ten minutes." I held up my phone in front of him as he rushed over to me under the faculty building, sweating.

He was panting, hands on his thighs. I reached out and patted his head lightly a couple of times before complaining.

"So sweaty."

"I went to a bunch of places. Got errands to run."

"Let's go eat."

"But my friends are coming too, is that okay?"

"Whatever."

He had a lot of friends, compared to me. I wouldn't exactly call him friendly —sometimes he was just so clueless it felt like he doesn't know how to say no. Whatever someone asked, he did. Whatever someone needed, he just smiled and agreed. I told you, he's kind.

"Qin!"

And that kindness—that's the scary part.

"What's up?"

"You look so good today, rolling your sleeves up like that."

"Get out of my car."I gave Jet a faint smile as he leaned out of the back window to tease me.

Over time, Duang's best friend naturally became my friend too. I reached out to open the front door, but Jet shook his head quickly.

"Hey, there's another friend of Duang's. You probably haven't met her yet.

Her name's Yim."

"Hi, you're Qin, right?"

I closed the door and dropped into the back seat next to Jet, nodding and greeting her back. That was when I noticed someone watching me through the rearview mirror.

It was the first time I had sat back here, and there was this quiet weight settling in my chest. I froze for a moment, trying to process my own feelings. The girl sitting next to Duang was the same one who had taken promotional photos with him for the university's shirt earlier today. I saw her place her hand on Duang's thigh while talking about her favorite movie as he drove.

I turned my face away, shifting my gaze to the roadside, letting our shared playlist play softly in the car. And I realized—on this road we were traveling, I didn't own anything.

That was when I knew I couldn't stop myself from liking him. I couldn't control who he liked or didn't like. And I couldn't stop others—

"Have you ever seen A Star Is Born, Duang?"

"I missed it when it was in theaters." —from liking Duang either.

"Oh."

"Well, actually, I did watch it. On DVD. With Qin... Qin studies music, and he likes it, so I wanted to borrow it and—yeah, I whined until Qin let me watch it with him. Right?"

But today, I learned one more thing—

I didn't have to worry about anything in the relationship we had.

"Huh? Duang, you're talking so politely to your friend?"

"Oh, no. Not a friend."

Because he would always be there— Not too close, not too far from me.

"Qin's the one I'm seeing."

Reminding me, over and over, that this was the one thing I never had to doubt.

"Whoa, I had no idea."

"Haha, I was the one who chased after Qin."

It was the one thing I never had to question— because the answer was always clear.

"Hey, is the air conditioner reaching you?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, we'll eat at the place you like."

"Honestly, anywhere is fine. You guys can pick." We locked eyes again through the same mirror. He smiled when he saw that my mood had lifted, and I wasn't surprised that he could read me so well— Because he really had been paying attention to me all along.

"Jet wants to eat chicken rice.""I'm in! Let's go to Tumthong."

"Chicken rice it is, then. No backing out now." I just went along with it. Like I said, I could eat anything. It was always him who spoiled me, and before I knew it, the car had already pulled up slightly past the shop. We had to cross a busy road to get to the famous chicken rice place.

"I missed you."

He came with that warm, pinewood scent. I had different scent memories for everyone—probably because I grew up around perfumes due to my family's business. But the fragrance he wore mixed with his natural scent always made me think of a pine forest.

Our shoulders brushed from how close we were. I turned to see him smiling wide, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything sweet." He answered while scanning the road for a chance to cross. When it was clear, I stepped forward first, gently pulling the only girl with us along to cross together.

"I missed you too."

"..."

"Is that sweet enough?"

"I heard that! Why are you two so cute?"

Yim teased with a smile that seemed a little bittersweet. At least, that's how I interpreted it. She quietly thanked me for helping her cross before trailing after Jet to order chicken rice. Seeing that, I walked past the table to grab glasses and scoop some ice.

"Hey, I almost died back there."

"Why didn't you?""Because I still want to live to hear you say cute things like that."

"Cheesy." I frowned, wondering where he kept coming up with these lines.

"I thought you'd be mad and make me sit in the front."

"I'm not that petty."

"It's because I care."

"I know. I care too."

"Why are you so cute today? Are you trying to make me fall for you?" He took the glass from my hand, grumbling softly. I felt the distance between us shrink as he stepped up behind me—very intentionally, I might add.

When I didn't scold him for resting his chin on my shoulder, he just stayedthere. Then, pressing his nose against my wrinkled shirt like he was in a daze.

"You smell so good, Qin."

I turned to catch a glimpse of his face, and he didn't pull back—even though if I leaned in any closer, our noses would touch.

"The photos with Yim turned out cute."

"See?"

"What?"

"You sound jealous. With feeling and everything."

"Feeling, my ass. Move your face away. You've hit your quota for today." I elbowed him hard in the stomach, balancing two glasses of ice while narrowing my eyes at him as he still tried to inch closer.

"Auntie! There are people flirting in your shop!"

And today was another good day— a good day because he was still right here beside me.

"Jet! You little shit!"

And that was enough.

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