Part 4

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That night...

Sleep never came.

I kept staring at our old messages.

Reading conversations I hadn't thought about in months.

The more I read...

The worse I felt.

Not because she had left.

But because I could finally see how much she had tried to stay.

There were so many moments.

Moments that seemed small back then.

But now felt huge.

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Her: "Can we talk tonight?"

Me: "Busy."

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Her: "I miss you."

Me: "Miss you too."

Then I'd disappear for hours.

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Her: "Something happened today."

Me: "What happened?"

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She'd send a long message.

And I'd reply with one sentence.

Sometimes just an emoji.

Sometimes nothing at all.

Back then...

I never thought those things mattered.

Now they were all I could think about.

Around 2:30 AM...

My phone was still in my hand.

Her contact was still open.

My heart kept telling me to message her.

My mind kept telling me not to.

She was happy now.

Maybe even in love.

What right did I have to appear again?

I locked my phone.

Unlocked it.

Locked it again.

Then finally...

I opened our chat.

My fingers hovered above the keyboard.

For almost ten minutes.

Before I typed:

Me: "I'm sorry."

I stared at the message.

Then hit send.

The moment it delivered...

Panic hit me.

What was I doing?

Why now?

Why after all this time?

I put my phone down.

Determined not to check it.

Thirty seconds later...

I checked it.

No reply.

Five minutes.

Nothing.

Ten minutes.

Nothing.

Eventually exhaustion won.

I fell asleep with the phone beside me.

The next morning...

The first thing I did was reach for it.

My heart pounding.

There was a notification.

From her.

My hands shook as I opened it.

The message was short.

Very short.

Her: "Sorry for what?"

I stared at those three words.

Because suddenly...

I realized one apology wasn't enough.

Not for everything.

Not for months of neglect.

Not for all the times she cried alone.

Not for every moment she felt invisible beside someone who was supposed to love her.

So I started typing.

And this time...

I told the truth.

Not excuses.

Not explanations.

The truth.

Me: "For not listening."

Me: "For making you feel alone."

Me: "For thinking you'd always stay."

Me: "For realizing everything too late."

I sent the messages.

Then waited.

Minutes passed.

Then an hour.

Then two.

Finally...

Her reply appeared.

Her: "Thank you for saying that."

My chest tightened.

Me: "You deserved better."

Several minutes passed before she answered.

Her: "I used to wish you'd understand."

Her: "For a long time."

Her: "But eventually I stopped waiting."

The words hurt.

Because they were true.

I looked at the screen.

Trying to think of something to say.

Something that could fix everything.

Something that could bring us back.

But there wasn't anything.

Some mistakes don't happen in one moment.

They happen slowly.

Over months.

Over years.

And by the time you see them...

The damage is already done.

Still...

One question kept burning inside me.

The question I had been afraid to ask.

Me: "Are you happy?"

The typing bubble appeared.

Then disappeared.

Then appeared again.

Finally she replied.

Her: "Yes."

Just one word.

But it told me everything.

I stared at the screen for a long time.

Then smiled sadly.

Because despite everything...

Despite how much it hurt...

That was all I'd ever wanted for her.

Even if I wasn't the reason anymore.

A few moments later...

Another message appeared.

One I wasn't expecting.

Her: "I don't hate you."

Her: "I never did."

Her: "I just couldn't keep breaking my own heart."

And for the first time since losing her...

I understood that some people leave not because love disappears.

But because they finally choose themselves.

To be continue... 💔

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