CHAPTER-5 HAPPINESS

SLAP!

Aawaz itni zor se aayi ki meri neend turant khul gayi.

Ek pal ke liye mujhe laga shayad maine sapna dekha hai.

Lekin phir kamre ke bahar se aati bhari saansen aur chupchaap phaile sannate ne bata diya ki ye sapna nahi tha.

Main ghabra kar bed par baith gaya.

Subah ka waqt tha.

Khidki ke parde ke beech se halki dhoop kamre mein ghus rahi thi.

Main dheere se bed se utra aur kamre ka darwaza thoda sa khola.

Mera dil zor-zor se dhadak raha tha.

Living room mein Mom aur Dad khade the.

Mom ka haath abhi bhi hawa mein tha.

Dad ke gaal par laal nishaan saaf dikh raha tha.

Maine apni poori zindagi mein Mom ko Dad par haath uthate hue kabhi nahi dekha tha.

Kabhi bhi nahi.

Dad ka chehra gusse se laal tha.

Mom ki aankhon mein aansu bhi the aur gussa bhi.

Dono kuch pal tak ek doosre ko dekhte rahe.

Jaise dono ke paas kehne ko bahut kuch ho.

Aur phir bhi kuch na keh pa rahe ho.

Main samajh nahi paa raha tha ki hua kya hai.

Main sirf paanch saal ka tha.

Mere liye Mom aur Dad duniya ke sabse taakatwar log the.

Mujhe lagta tha unke paas har problem ka solution hota hai.

Isliye unhe ladte dekhna ajeeb lag raha tha.

Bahut ajeeb.

Achanak Dad ne nazar hata li.

Unhone kuch nahi kaha.

Bas apni chaabiyan uthayi aur darwaze ki taraf badh gaye.

Mom ne bhi unhe rokne ki koshish nahi ki.

Darwaza itni zor se band hua ki main darr kar peeche hat gaya.

Ghar mein sannata chha gaya.

Mujhe laga shayad Mom ro dengi.

Lekin woh nahi royi.

Unhone bas meri taraf dekha.

"Reyansh."

Main seedha khada ho gaya.

"Ji..."

"Jaldi uth aur school ke liye tayyar ho ja."

Bas itna hi.

Aam taur par Mom mujhe khud tayyar karwati thi.

Brush karwati.

Uniform pehnati.

Breakfast khilati.

Lekin aaj unki awaaz mein thakaan thi.

Jaise woh bahut door chali gayi ho.

Maine koi sawaal nahi poocha.

Pata nahi kyun.

Bas laga ki aaj sawaal nahi poochne chahiye.

Main chupchaap bathroom ki taraf chala gaya.

School pahunchte hi mera mood thoda theek ho gaya.

School meri favourite jagah thi.

Wahan Mom-Dad ki ladaiyan nahi hoti thi.

Wahan homework hota tha.

Games hote the.

Aur Hazel hoti thi.

Hazel.

Jaise hi main school gate ke andar gaya, maine use dekh liya.

Woh apne Dad ka haath pakad kar khadi thi.

Uske baal aaj do chotiyon mein bandhe hue the.

Aur hamesha ki tarah woh bahut zyada khush lag rahi thi.

Jaise duniya mein koi problem hi na ho.

Jaise hi usne mujhe dekha, uski aankhen chamak uthi.

"Reyansh!"

Woh daud kar meri taraf aayi.

Aur phir hamesha ki tarah mere saamne ruk gayi.

"Maine kal drawing banayi thi!"

Usne bina hello bole hi announce kar diya.

Main hans pada.

"Maine nahi dekhi."

"Ab dikhaungi."

"Abhi?"

"Abhi."

"Class shuru hone wali hai."

"Toh?"

Main kuch bol hi nahi paaya.

Hazel ke saath behas karna mushkil tha.

Kyunki use hamesha lagta tha ki woh sahi hai.

Aur aksar woh sach mein sahi hi hoti thi.

Thodi der baad hum dono playground mein khelne lage.

Us waqt mujhe subah wali baat yaad hi nahi rahi.

Na Mom.

Na Dad.

Na ghar ka tension.

Bas main tha.

Aur Hazel thi.

Kabhi-kabhi mujhe lagta tha Hazel kisi jaadu ki tarah hai.

Woh aas-paas ho toh sab kuch halka lagne lagta tha.

Us din bhi kuch aisa hi hua.

Humne itni masti ki ki kuch der ke liye Rihan ka khayal bhi dimaag se nikal gaya.

Rihan.

Hamara dost.

Jo kuch din pehle achanak gayab ho gaya tha.

Hum dono ko lagta tha woh mil jayega.

Shayad kahin chala gaya hoga.

Shayad ghar.

Shayad kisi relative ke yahan.

Hum dono ko nahi pata tha ki duniya itni simple nahi hoti.

Recess ke dauran Hazel mere paas aayi.

Uske chehre par ajeeb si excitement thi.

"Dekho."

Usne apni kalai aage kar di.

Uski kalai par friendship band tha.

Wahi friendship band jo maine use diya tha.

Waise toh maine use pehle bhi dekha tha.

Lekin aaj woh alag lag raha tha.

Shayad isliye kyunki Hazel use dekh kar khush thi.

Bahut khush.

"Maine ye ghar mein sabko dikhaya tha."

Usne muskura kar kaha.

Ye bolte waqt uske gaal thode laal ho gaye.

Pata nahi kyun.

Main uski baat sunne ke bajay usse hi dekhta reh gaya.

Uski aankhon mein ek ajeeb si chamak thi.

Aur uski smile...

Us waqt mujhe laga ki woh duniya ki sabse achhi smile hai.

Mera dil ajeeb sa lag raha tha.

Jaise andar kuch gudgudi ho rahi ho.

Main us feeling ko samajh nahi pa raha tha.

Main paanch saal ka tha.

Mujhe pyaar ka matlab nahi pata tha.

Bas itna pata tha ki Hazel ko dekh kar achha lagta hai.

Bahut achha.

"Maine bhi Mom ko dikhaya tha."

Mere muh se achanak nikal gaya.

Ye jhooth tha.

Maine band kisi ko nahi dikhaya tha.

Mujhe khud nahi pata maine aisa kyun kaha.

Shayad main bhi use khush karna chahta tha.

Hazel kuch pal ke liye chup ho gayi.

Bas kuch pal.

Phir usne smile kar di.

Lekin pata nahi kyun mujhe laga jaise woh thodi si disappoint hui ho.

Maine poora din socha.

Kya maine kuch galat bol diya?

Kya usne mera jhooth pakad liya?

Ya phir baat kuch aur thi?

Mujhe samajh nahi aaya.

Shaam ko ghar lautne par Dad ghar par the.

Aur unke haath mein teen ice cream thi.

Meri favourite.

Chocolate.

"Mere champion ke liye."

Unhone muskura kar kaha.

Main turant unki taraf bhaaga.

Subah jo hua tha, uska ek bhi nishaan unke chehre par nahi tha.

Jaise kuch hua hi na ho.

Mom bhi kitchen mein thi.

Aur woh bhi normal lag rahi thi.

Kam se kam bahar se.

Us shaam humne saath ice cream khayi.

TV dekha.

Aur thodi der baad Dad mere saath floor par baith kar blocks se castle banane lage.

"Yahan tower banega."

Maine kaha.

"Ye tower toh gir jayega."

Dad bole.

"Nahi girega."

"Girega."

"Nahi girega."

Do second baad tower gir gaya.

Dad hansne lage.

Main bhi hans pada.

Us waqt mujhe nahi pata tha ki kuch yaadein baad mein kitni keemti ban jaati hain.

Agar pata hota...

Toh shayad main us shaam ko aur mazbooti se pakad leta.

Phir exams aa gaye.

Aur meri zindagi kharab ho gayi.

Kam se kam mujhe tab toh yahi lagta tha.

Teen-chaar hafton tak lagataar exams chale.

Mom ne meri poori routine badal di.

Subah padhai.

Shaam padhai.

Weekend padhai.

Main jab bhi khelne jaane ki baat karta...

Mom mana kar deti.

"Hazel bhi padh rahi hogi."

"Par mujhe khelna hai."

"Pehle padhai."

"Mujhe nahi karni padhai!"

Mom mujhe ghoor kar dekhti.

Aur main chup ho jaata.

Hazel se milna bhi kam ho gaya.

Kabhi-kabhi school mein do minute baat ho jaati.

Bas.

Mujhe woh bilkul pasand nahi tha.

Ek din toh main phat hi gaya.

"Main nahi padhunga!"

Maine kitaab band kar di.

Mom ne pehle kuch nahi kaha.

Bas mujhe dekhti rahi.

"Maine bola na nahi padhunga!"

Agle hi pal...

THAPPAD.

Kamre mein sannata chha gaya.

Main shock mein tha.

Mom bhi.

Unhone shayad khud nahi socha tha ki woh mujhe maar dengi.

Main gusse mein apne kamre mein chala gaya.

Aur raat bhar unse baat nahi ki.

Lekin agli subah jab main utha...

Meri table par mera favourite breakfast rakha tha.

Mom ne kuch nahi kaha.

Maine bhi nahi.

Kabhi-kabhi maafi shabdon mein nahi hoti.

Chhoti-chhoti cheezon mein hoti hai.

Aur bachche unhe samajh lete hain.

Aakhirkar exams khatam ho gaye.

Main itna thak chuka tha ki agle din lagbhag poora din sota raha.

Shaam hone lagi.

Ghar shaant tha.

Mom clinic mein thi.

Patients lagbhag khatam ho chuke the.

Clinic band hone wala tha.

Main aur Dad dinner ka wait kar rahe the.

Lekin ajeeb baat ye thi ki Dad subah se ghar nahi aaye the.

Maine do baar poocha bhi.

Mom ne kaha tha,

"Kaam se gaye hain."

Bas.

Aur kuch nahi.

Shaam aur gehri ho gayi.

Aur usi waqt...

Clinic mein phone baja.

Tring.

Tring.

Tring.

Athena ne phone uthaya.

Dusri taraf ambulance driver tha.

"Ma'am, ek emergency case hai."

Athena ne aankhen band kar li.

Clinic band hone ka waqt ho chuka tha.

"Patient ko kisi aur hospital le jao."

"Ma'am, condition critical hai."

Athena chup ho gayi.

Critical.

Ye shabd doctoron ko kamzor kar deta hai.

Kyunki woh jaante hain har minute ki keemat kya hoti hai.

"Theek hai."

Unhone aakhir kaha.

"Le aao."

Kuch der baad ambulance clinic ke bahar aakar ruk gayi.

Athena apne office se bahar nikli.

Unke kadam thake hue the.

Aaj ka din lamba tha.

Bahut lamba.

Ward ka darwaza khula.

Do staff members stretcher andar la rahe the.

Athena routine ke hisaab se patient ki taraf badhi.

Phir...

Unki nazar us chehre par padi.

Aur waqt ruk gaya.

Unka dil ek dhadkan ke liye ruk sa gaya.

Nahi.

Nahi.

Ye mumkin nahi tha.

Unhone ek kadam aage badhaya.

Phir ek aur.

Unke haath kaampne lage.

Saans tez ho gayi.

Stretcher par pada aadmi...

Cassian tha.

Unka pati.

Reyansh ka Dad.

Aur uske chehre par itna khoon tha ki pehchanna bhi mushkil ho raha tha.

"Cassian..."

Unke honton se awaaz nikli.

Lekin itni dheemi ki shayad kisi ne suni bhi nahi.

Duniya achanak bahut door lagne lagi.

Awaazein dhundhli pad gayi.

Chehre dhundle ho gaye.

Sirf ek chehra saaf tha.

Cassian ka.

"Mam!"

Kisi ne zor se pukara.

"Mam!"

Athena ne react nahi kiya.

"Mam! Jaldi kijiye!"

"Patient critical hai!"

Patient.

Woh patient nahi tha.

Woh unka pati tha.

Aur us pal Athena ko samajh nahi aa raha tha ki woh doctor bane...

Ya patni.

"Mam! Please!"

"Kuch kijiye!"

"Patient ki pulse drop ho rahi hai!"

Awaazein Athena ke kaano mein pahunch rahi thi.

Lekin jaise paani ke neeche se.

Dhundhli.

Tooti hui.

Door.

Unki nazar sirf Cassian par thi.

Khoon.

Bahut saara khoon.

Uska aadha chehra lahu se bhar chuka tha.

Kapde phat chuke the.

Saans machine ki madad se chal rahi thi.

Aur phir bhi...

Athena ke dimaag mein ek hi tasveer baar-baar aa rahi thi.

Subah wali.

Jab Cassian ghar se nikla tha.

Bilkul theek.

Bilkul zinda.

Bilkul normal.

Aaj subah hi toh usne coffee maangi thi.

Aaj subah hi toh dono ki behas hui thi.

Aaj subah hi toh...

Athena ki saansein tootne lagi.

Nahi.

Nahi.

Nahi.

Ye sach nahi ho sakta.

"Mam!"

Assistant ne unka kandha pakad liya.

Athena jhatke se reality mein wapas aayi.

Aur usi pal unhe yaad aaya.

Woh doctor thi.

Agar woh nahi sambhali...

Toh Cassian mar jayega.

"Operation room prepare karo."

Unki awaaz kaamp rahi thi.

"Jaldi."

Poora staff turant active ho gaya.

Stretcher operation room ki taraf le jaya gaya.

Athena bhi saath bhaagi.

Lekin har kadam bhaari lag raha tha.

Jaise pairon mein loha bandh diya gaya ho.

Operation room ke darwaze band hue.

Aur jang shuru ho gayi.

Pehle aadhe ghante tak Athena ne khud ko kaam mein daba diya.

Jaise emotions naam ki koi cheez exist hi nahi karti.

Vitals.

Bleeding.

Internal injuries.

Equipment.

Instructions.

Sab kuch automatic chal raha tha.

Saalon ki practice.

Saalon ki training.

Lekin phir...

Monitor par ek number gira.

Aur phir doosra.

Aur phir teesra.

Athena ka dil doob gaya.

Situation expected se zyada kharab thi.

Bahut zyada.

Ek assistant ne dheere se kaha,

"Ma'am..."

Athena ne uski taraf dekha.

Assistant ki aankhon mein woh expression tha jo doctors ek doosre ko tab dete hain jab unhe sach samajh aa jaata hai.

Athena ne turant nazar hata li.

Nahi.

Woh expression nahi dekhna tha.

Abhi nahi.

Kabhi nahi.

"Koshish karte raho."

Unhone daant bhinch kar kaha.

"Koi bhi stop nahi karega."

"Mam..."

"Maine kaha continue!"

Room mein phir sannata chha gaya.

Sab apna kaam karte rahe.

Lekin sach sabko pata tha.

Aur shayad Athena ko bhi.

Bas woh maan nahi rahi thi.

Ek ghanta.

Do ghante.

Phir...

Monitor ne ek lambi si awaaz nikali.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Poora room jam gaya.

Athena ne screen ki taraf dekha.

Seedhi line.

Ek pal ke liye kisi ne kuch nahi kaha.

Kisi ne hila tak nahi.

Athena ka dimaag khaali ho gaya.

Ye nahi ho sakta.

Abhi nahi.

Abhi toh bahut kuch baaki tha.

Reyansh ne abhi school start hi kiya tha.

Unhone abhi family trip plan ki thi.

Cassian ne promise kiya tha ki agle Sunday amusement park jayenge.

Abhi toh...

Abhi toh zindagi chal rahi thi.

"Restart."

Athena ne kaha.

Kisi ne react nahi kiya.

"Restart!"

Iss baar woh chillayi.

Staff ne procedure repeat kiya.

Phir.

Phir.

Aur phir.

Lekin line wahi rahi.

Seedhi.

Bejaan.

Merciless.

Aakhir ek senior doctor ne dheere se kaha,

"Time of death..."

Athena ne sunna hi nahi.

Ya shayad sunna nahi chahti thi.

Unke haath dheere se Cassian ke haath par gaye.

Thanda.

Bahut thanda.

Subah tak yahi haath garam tha.

Subah tak yahi haath unka tha.

Aur ab...

Athena toot gayi.

Puri tarah.

"Main usse nahi bacha paayi..."

Bas yahi shabd baar-baar unke muh se nikal rahe the.

"Main usse nahi bacha paayi..."

"Main usse nahi bacha paayi..."

Kisi ne unhe sambhalne ki koshish ki.

Kisi ne paani diya.

Kisi ne chair par bithaya.

Lekin koi bhi unhe woh cheez wapas nahi de sakta tha jo unse chhin gayi thi.

Cassian.

Mujhe kuch nahi bataya gaya tha.

Main ghar par tha.

Mujhe laga Dad shayad late aa rahe hain.

Main TV dekhte-dekhte so gaya.

Phir raat ko kisi ne mujhe uthaya.

Main aadhi neend mein tha.

Mujhe sirf itna yaad hai ki bahut saare log ghar mein the.

Kuch rishtedaar.

Kuch padosi.

Sab dheere-dheere baat kar rahe the.

Jaise kisi ko disturb nahi karna chahte ho.

Main Mom ko dhoondhne laga.

Woh corner mein baithi thi.

Unki aankhen laal thi.

Bahut laal.

"Mama?"

Maine unka haath pakda.

Unhone meri taraf dekha.

Aur usi pal phir ro padi.

Main darr gaya.

"Mama?"

"Kya hua?"

"Kya hua Mama?"

Unhone mujhe gale laga liya.

Itni zor se ki mujhe saans lene mein mushkil hone lagi.

"Mama..."

Maine phir poocha.

Lekin is baar bhi koi jawab nahi mila.

Agli subah mujhe Dad nahi dikhai diye.

Na breakfast par.

Na living room mein.

Na bedroom mein.

Maine socha shayad hospital mein honge.

Ya office mein.

Ya kahin aur.

Main paanch saal ka tha.

Death ka concept mujhe samajh nahi aata tha.

Mujhe sirf itna pata tha ki log ghar se jaate hain aur phir wapas aate hain.

Dad bhi aa jayenge.

Bas thoda late.

Maine Mom se poocha.

"Dad kab aayenge?"

Athena jam gayi.

Kuch seconds tak unhone kuch nahi kaha.

Phir unki aankhon mein aansu bhar aaye.

Mujhe samajh nahi aaya.

Maine toh normal sawaal poocha tha.

"Dad kab aayenge?"

Iss baar meri awaaz aur dheemi thi.

Athena ne mujhe gale laga liya.

Aur roti rahi.

Bas roti rahi.

Us din mujhe pehli baar laga ki shayad kuch bahut bura hua hai.

Funeral ke din mujhe safed kapde pehnaye gaye.

Bahut saare log aaye.

Sab udaas the.

Sab mujhe dekh kar aur udaas ho jaate the.

Mujhe ye bilkul pasand nahi aa raha tha.

Main bas Dad ko dekhna chahta tha.

Aur jab maine unhe dekha...

Main confuse ho gaya.

Woh so rahe the.

Bas so rahe the.

Aisa hi toh lag raha tha.

Toh phir sab ro kyun rahe the?

Main unke paas gaya.

"Dad?"

Koi jawab nahi.

"Dad?"

Main thoda aur paas gaya.

Unka haath chhua.

Bahut thanda tha.

Maine turant haath peeche kheench liya.

"Mama..."

"Mama, Dad uth kyun nahi rahe?"

Athena wahi toot gayi.

Logon ne mujhe wahan se hata diya.

Lekin us pal mujhe samajh aa gaya.

Poori tarah nahi.

Lekin thoda.

Dad wapas nahi aane wale the.

Us raat ghar bahut khaali lag raha tha.

Ajeeb baat ye thi ki ghar mein log bhare hue the.

Rishtedaar.

Padosi.

Dost.

Sab.

Phir bhi ghar khaali lag raha tha.

Kyunki ek aadmi nahi tha.

Aur us ek aadmi ke bina poori duniya alag lag rahi thi.

Main raat ko uth kar Dad ke room mein gaya.

Darwaza khola.

Andhera.

Khamoshi.

Unka takiya wahi tha.

Unki books wahi thi.

Unki watch table par rakhi thi.

Sab kuch wahi tha.

Bas Dad nahi the.

Main dheere se bed par chadh gaya.

Aur wahi let gaya.

Unki smell abhi bhi takiye mein thi.

Us raat main pehli baar chupchaap rota hua soya.

Kisi ko bina bataye.

Kyunki mujhe lag raha tha...

Agar main ro diya...

Toh shayad sach aur zyada sach ho jayega.

Aur main abhi bhi taiyaar nahi tha.

Sach maan-ne ke liye.

Dad ke jaane ke baad waqt ruk gaya tha.

Kam se kam mujhe toh aisa hi lagta tha.

Subah hoti thi.

Shaam hoti thi.

Log aate the.

Log jaate the.

Lekin mere liye sab kuch ek jaisa ho gaya tha.

Jaise zindagi ne apne saare rang kho diye ho.

Pehle ghar mein hansi hoti thi.

Dad ki awaaz hoti thi.

Kabhi TV ki volume ko lekar Mom aur Dad ki chhoti si behas hoti thi.

Kabhi mere homework ko lekar.

Kabhi kisi aur baat par.

Ab ghar mein sirf khamoshi thi.

Aur khamoshi bhi itni gehri ki kabhi-kabhi darr lagne lagta tha.

Mom badal gayi thi.

Bahut zyada.

Pehle woh hamesha busy rehti thi.

Kabhi clinic.

Kabhi ghar.

Kabhi mere saath.

Kabhi Dad ke saath.

Ab woh zyadatar apne kamre mein rehti thi.

Darwaza band.

Parde band.

Lights band.

Kabhi-kabhi main darwaze ke bahar khada hokar sunta tha.

Andar se koi awaaz nahi aati thi.

Kabhi-kabhi halki si siskari sunai deti.

Aur phir sab chup ho jaata.

Main samajh nahi paata tha ki kya karun.

Main paanch saal ka tha.

Mere paas kisi ka dard theek karne ka tareeka nahi tha.

Main bas itna kar sakta tha ki darwaza khatkhatata.

"Mama?"

Kabhi jawab milta.

Kabhi nahi.

Ek din main drawing bana raha tha.

Maine ek ghar banaya.

Ek suraj.

Ek ped.

Aur teen log.

Main.

Mom.

Dad.

Main khush ho gaya.

Drawing lekar Mom ke kamre mein gaya.

"Mama dekho."

Athena bed par baithi thi.

Unki aankhen phir laal thi.

Maine drawing unke saamne kar di.

Unhone dekha.

Aur jam gayi.

Kuch seconds tak woh bas drawing ko dekhti rahi.

Phir unki nazar us chhote se aadmi par gayi jo maine Dad ke naam se banaya tha.

Aur woh ro padi.

Mujhe samajh nahi aaya maine kya galat kar diya.

"Mama?"

Maine ghabra kar poocha.

"Maine kuch galat banaya?"

Athena ne turant mujhe gale laga liya.

"Nahi."

Unki awaaz toot rahi thi.

"Bilkul nahi."

Lekin woh phir bhi ro rahi thi.

Us din ke baad maine Dad ko drawing mein banana kam kar diya.

Pata nahi kyun.

Bas itna samajh gaya tha ki Dad ki baat karne se Mom ko dard hota hai.

Kuch hafton baad news channels par accident ki khabar aayi.

Mujhe poori baat samajh nahi aayi.

Lekin Mom ko aayi.

Aur unke chehre ka rang ud gaya.

Pata chala jis gaadi ne Dad ko takkar maari thi...

Woh kisi aam aadmi ki nahi thi.

Woh ek bade politician ke parivaar ki gaadi thi.

News mein baar-baar ek hi baat dikhayi ja rahi thi.

"Driver gaadi chala raha tha."

"Control kho gaya."

"Durghatna thi."

Bas.

Case khatam.

Kahani khatam.

Lekin Mom ko bharosa nahi tha.

Unhe lagta tha sach kuch aur hai.

Aur shayad woh sahi thi.

Ek din Mom mujhe saath lekar ek lawyer ke office gayi.

Main bahar baith kar colouring book mein colours bhar raha tha.

Andar Mom aur lawyer baat kar rahe the.

Darwaza poori tarah band nahi tha.

Isliye kuch awaazein bahar aa rahi thi.

"Mujhe case file karna hai."

Athena ki awaaz thi.

Lawyer kaafi der tak chup raha.

Phir usne dheere se kaha,

"Ma'am... main aapko jhoothi umeed nahi dena chahta."

Athena ne kuch nahi kaha.

"Jinke khilaaf aap ladna chahti hain, woh bahut taakatwar log hain."

Room mein sannata chha gaya.

"Mujhe sach chahiye."

Athena boli.

"Mere pati ko nyay milna chahiye."

Lawyer ne gehri saans li.

"Nyay aur jeet hamesha ek cheez nahi hote."

Athena chup rahi.

"Unke paas paisa hai."

"Power hai."

"Connections hain."

"Media hai."

"Log hain."

Phir uski nazar bahar meri taraf gayi.

Main colouring book mein blue crayon ghuma raha tha.

Lawyer ki awaaz aur dheemi ho gayi.

"Aur aapke paas kya hai?"

Athena ki aankhon mein aansu bhar aaye.

Lawyer ne jawab khud de diya.

"Aapke paas ek beta hai."

"Bas."

"Mujhe dar hai ki agar aapne ye ladai shuru ki..."

"...toh nuksaan sirf aapka nahi hoga."

Usne meri taraf dekha.

"Bachche ka bhi hoga."

Room mein itni khamoshi chha gayi ki mujhe bahar tak mehsoos hui.

Kuch minute baad Mom bahar nikli.

Unki aankhon mein aansu the.

Lekin is baar unmein gussa bhi tha.

Bahut zyada.

Us raat main paani peene utha.

Kitchen se halki si roshni aa rahi thi.

Main dheere se wahan gaya.

Mom dining table par baithi thi.

Akele.

Unke saamne Dad ki photo rakhi thi.

Aur woh us photo ko dekh rahi thi.

Bas dekh rahi thi.

Jaise photo jawab de degi.

Jaise photo baat kar legi.

Main chupchaap wahan khada raha.

Phir maine suna.

Athena dheere se bol rahi thi.

"Tumne promise kiya tha."

Unki awaaz toot rahi thi.

"Tumne promise kiya tha ki mujhe akela nahi chhodoge."

Maine pehli baar apni Mom ko itna kamzor dekha.

Aur us pal mujhe samajh aaya.

Dad sirf mere Dad nahi the.

Woh Mom ki poori duniya bhi the.

Kuch mahine aur guzre.

Phir ek din Mom ne mujhe bitha kar kaha,

"Hum yahan se ja rahe hain."

"Maine kya kiya?"

Mera pehla sawaal wahi tha.

Athena halka sa muskura di.

Shayad bahut dino baad.

"Tumne kuch nahi kiya."

"Phir kyun?"

"Bas..."

Unhone meri gardan par haath phiraya.

"Humein nayi shuruaat chahiye."

Main poori tarah nahi samjha.

Lekin itna samajh gaya ki hum ye ghar chhodne wale hain.

Wahi ghar jahan Dad rehte the.

Wahi ghar jahan meri saari yaadein thi.

Wahi ghar jahan Hazel thi.

Hazel.

Ye naam aate hi mera dil baith gaya.

Jaane se ek din pehle maine Hazel se milne ka faisla kiya.

Hum ek park mein mile.

Wahi park jahan hum pehle bhi kai baar khel chuke the.

Shaam ka waqt tha.

Hawa halki thi.

Aur pata nahi kyun...

Sab kuch udaas lag raha tha.

Hazel bench par baithi thi.

Jaise hi usne mujhe dekha, woh muskuraayi.

Lekin woh pehle wali smile nahi thi.

"Meri Mom ne bataya."

Usne dheere se kaha.

"Ki tum ja rahe ho."

Maine sir hila diya.

Kuch pal tak hum dono chup rahe.

Pehli baar.

Hum usually itna chup nahi rehte the.

Phir Hazel ne apna haath aage badhaya.

Uski hathheli par pen se number likha hua tha.

"Mere ghar ka number."

Main kuch seconds tak use dekhta raha.

Phir maine bhi apna haath dikhaya.

Us par bhi number likha hua tha.

Hum dono hans diye.

Thoda sa.

Bas thoda sa.

Jaise do bachche doori se ladne ki koshish kar rahe ho.

"Mujhe call karna."

Hazel boli.

"Mujhe bhi."

Maine jawab diya.

Aur phir hum dono chup ho gaye.

Kyunki humein pata hi nahi tha aur kya bolna chahiye.

Hum sirf paanch saal ke the.

Alvida kehna koi school mein nahi sikhata.

Kuch der baad jaana pada.

Hum dono khade hue.

Ek doosre ko dekha.

Aur goodbye bol diya.

Bas itna hi.

Koi bada speech nahi.

Koi dramatic promise nahi.

Bas ek simple sa goodbye.

Lekin pata nahi kyun...

Woh meri zindagi ka sabse bhaari goodbye lag raha tha.

Main mud kar chal diya.

Ek kadam.

Do kadam.

Teen kadam.

Mera dil zor-zor se dhadak raha tha.

Mujhe umeed thi.

Bahut zyada umeed.

Ki Hazel mujhe pukaregi.

Ya phir mud kar dekhegi.

Bas ek baar.

Main ruk gaya.

Aur peeche mud kar dekha.

Hazel chal rahi thi.

Seedha.

Bina peeche dekhe.

Main kuch seconds tak wahi khada raha.

Umeed karta raha.

Shayad ab.

Shayad ab.

Shayad ab.

Lekin woh nahi mudi.

Ek baar bhi nahi.

Aur phir dheere-dheere bheed mein gayab ho gayi.

Main us jagah khada raha.

Kaafi der tak.

Pata nahi kyun.

Shayad kyunki mera ek hissa uske saath ja chuka tha.

Ya shayad kyunki mujhe pehli baar samajh aaya tha...

Ki kuch log chale jaate hain.

Aur tum unhe rok nahi sakte.

Chahe tum kitna bhi chaho.

Us raat hum shehar chhod kar chale gaye.

Gaadi ki khidki se main bahar dekh raha tha.

Street lights peeche chhoot rahi thi.

Roads peeche chhoot rahi thi.

Yaadein peeche chhoot rahi thi.

Aur kahin na kahin...

Mera bachpan bhi.

Main so gaya.

Sir Mom ke kandhe par rakhe hue.

Aur mujhe nahi pata tha...

Ki jis shehar ko main peeche chhod raha hoon...

Woh ek din meri zindagi mein phir lautne wala tha.

Lekin jab lautega...

Tab main woh paanch saal ka Reyansh nahi rahunga.

Aur Hazel bhi woh paanch saal ki Hazel nahi hogi.

TO BE CONTINUED

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