The Reality

The teacher’s voice blended into the background as I stared blankly at the board, pretending to listen. My mind wasn’t really there. It hadn’t been for a while now.

“Viv!”

“Vivienne!”

A voice snapped me slightly back to reality.

I turned my head.

It was Stacy, my best friend since middle school, sitting beside me, leaning in just a little with a curious look on her face.

“What’s been on your mind lately?” she asked. “You’ve been so distracted these past few days. What happened to you? You’re usually so active, or always doing something. Now you’re just… quiet.”

I blinked, caught off guard by the question.

For a second, I almost laughed it off.

“I’m fine, tay” I said instead, forcing a small smile. “Just tired, I guess.”

Stacy didn’t look convinced.

She never really did when I lied.

But she didn’t push further either. Instead, she leaned back in her seat, still watching me like she was trying to figure something out I wasn’t saying out loud.

And I just looked away.

Back to the board.

Back to reality.

…

John and I had been on and off for a while now, and I didn’t really know how to explain it in a way that made sense. Lately, I felt like I was slowly drifting away from him—at least mentally.

It wasn’t because of a fight or because he had done something wrong. If anything, he had been nothing but good to me. But somehow, I found myself feeling distant, like a part of me was somewhere else entirely.

No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed.

Something keeps on pulling me back into this heavy, sinking feeling I couldn’t explain. Like I was stuck in a place I kept trying to leave, but always ended up finding my way back to.

A kind of sadness I couldn’t quite name.

And I didn’t know if it was him.

Or me.

Or something else entirely.

…

The bell rang, cutting through the quiet hum of the classroom.

I started packing my things, slipping my notebook into my bag, already thinking about getting out of there.

As I stood up, Stacy followed me out of my seat.

“Wait!” she said, catching up to me as we walked down the aisle. “Do you have anything planned for tonight?”

I shook my head slightly. “Probably just going home.”

She hesitated for a second, then smiled like she had just remembered something.

“So… a guy friend I met in one of my classes is having a small party later” she said. “He told me to bring a friend. Do you maybe… want to come?”

I paused mid-step.

“A party?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Nothing crazy. Just a small get-together.”

I wasn’t really in the mood.

Not lately.

But Stacy was already looking at me like she expected me to say yes, like she had already decided I was going anyway.

“Pretty please!” she groaned dramatically. “We never go out anymore, Viv. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

And for a second, I almost said no.

Almost.

I looked at her hopeful face and let out a sigh.

“Fine,” I said. “But if it ends up being boring, I’m blaming you.”

Stacy gasped, placing a hand over her chest as if I had just deeply offended her.

“Boring? With me there? Impossible.”

I rolled my eyes, but a small laugh escaped me anyway.

“There she is,” Stacy said, pointing at me. “I knew you were still alive somewhere in there.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

She linked her arm through mine as we walked out of the classroom together.

“Eight o’clock! My house! Don’t be late!”

“No promises.”

“Vivienne.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll be there.”

A satisfied grin spread across her face.

As we stepped outside the building, the afternoon sun hit us immediately. Students crowded the walkways, eager to start their weekend. Normally, I’d be just as excited.

Today, I felt nothing.

Just the same heaviness that had followed me around for weeks.

…

It had already been a month since that weird dream.

I didn’t quite understand why it was that dream that stayed with me.

I’d had thousands of dreams before. Strange ones. Funny ones. Nightmares I’d forgotten the moment I woke up.

But after that night, everything felt different.

What’s even weirder was that I couldn’t remember any of the dreams I had after it. Maybe I had them. Maybe I didn’t. Either way, they never stayed.

That one did.

But eventually, it stopped mattering.

Or at least, that’s what I told myself.

The dream became just another memory tucked away somewhere in the back of my mind. Life moved on, and so did I. Classes got busier, days became repetitive, and before I knew it, a month had already passed.

I had forgotten about it.

Or maybe I had simply chosen to.

Either way, I was trying to move forward with my life, even if life itself felt a little emptier lately. Not necessarily bad—just different. Like I was going through the motions of each day without really being present for any of it.

Still, I kept going.

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