Climax

[4 : High School - The Denial]

A letter. A love letter. Pink paper, tied with a ribbon and sealed with a red heart. Addressed to Marie. In her locker, in plain view of the person who opened it in person.

A pang of jealousy entered Ania's heart. "Which boy is it this time...I just want to help Marie get her notebook and I see this. Again." She frowned at the sight of it. The sound of footsteps approached.

"Ania!" A fairy-like voice called from afar, as the footsteps neared. It was Marie. "I finished talking with Mrs Reye—huh?" She seemed to notice the love letter as well.

Taking it out from her locker, she opened it. Boom! A huge amount of glitter landed on her face and clothes. "..." She kept silent, not knowing how to feel. Ania grumbled loudly.

"Are they playing a trick this time?" She said in frustration. She watched Marie blink her eyes open before reading the letter. It was another confession, unsurprisingly.

"Marie, I have had a crush on you since you joined. You're really pretty and nice. Will you meet me at the courtyard gazebo at 1 in the afternoon?" Marie read it loud enough for only her and Ania to hear.

Ania scoffed in disbelief. Pretty and nice? That's all? The girl who stood beside her was more than that. She was smart, gentle, kind, loving, generous — an angel. She was far more than just nice.

Pretty? Why, yes. With wavy caramel hair reaching her back, brilliant verdigris eyes that held the softness of the sun during dawn, glowing skin that seemed like she was sent from above.

Wait. What was she thinking.

"Pfft, what a terrible reasoning. Pretty? That's all? He's just simplistic." She spoke out in person, contradictory to her own thoughts. Marie indeed was pretty.

She looked like a doll that sat on top of a musical box, turning in time with the music as it sang a soft lullaby like the one Marie would occasionally hum when they studied together.

Damn it. She was thinking too much for someone she considered a friend. She shouldn't be having such thoughts. Marie sighed softly. "Ha, just follow me later. You can wait a distance away."

"I'm starting to feel sorry for those boys," no, she wasn't. "you're always getting confessions and you always reject them," she was glad Marie did. "But that's for the best." Yes, it was.

Marie took out her notebook from her locker and laughed at Ania's words. "I know you don't. Besides, I don't really fancy the boys here. I like smart people like me." She admitted with a smile. Good for you, Ania.

[5 : College - The Struggle]

Now, it was getting harder. Marie certainly was...gorgeous...

Ania stared at Marie, her hand hovering lightly over one of her textbooks as she admired her friend? in silence. "Marie, how do you get so beautiful?" She blurted out without thinking.

Marie turned to face Ania, slightly startled. "Oh? Well, I don't know. I just style myself the way I like it." She shrugged before teasingly ruffling Ania's neck length black hair. "You're beautiful too, don't put yourself down."

"I know, but like, you're so ethereal. Is that even allowed?" Ania hummed, "you look like a faerie that would trick me into giving my name and successfully do so." In all honesty, if that were the case, Ania would have given her name without being told.

"Good thing that faeries aren't real. You have the survival instincts of a cockroach." Marie scoffed lightly, pulling Ania closer by the shoulders and kissing her. Her forehead. Ania had hoped it was her lips.

"Geez, no need to tell me that. I'm aware." Ania frowned slightly though she didn't really feel sad. She felt quite giddy after that kiss. Ever since she complimented Marie's lipstick that one time, she always received a kiss.

Those kisses always led to inappropriate thoughts about her friend? somehow. Skin to skin, her larger hand from playing volleyball tangled in that now shoulder length caramel hair while the other slipped under the shirt.

Well, it was more of whenever she complimented Marie, she would receive a kiss and think that sometimes. So it was easy for her to get such thoughts, she could always compliment Marie. Though, sometimes, she felt like it was wrong.

She felt like she wasn't supposed to. She didn't know. Marie somehow sensed the bad vibes radiating off Ania. "Hey, Ania, don't be so down. I meant that teasingly, okay? I'll buy you any drink you want so that you cheer up."

Ania jumped slightly, she hadn't meant to let her negative feelings get the best of her. "Wait! I mean, I...sure, if you want to buy. But I'm thinking about something else, not what you said."

"Like what?"

Oh, that was a question even harder to answer than physics without a calculator. How does she answer that she had thought of kissing Ania's lips and snaking her hands to under her shirt.

"Physics pop quiz." It was the best answer she could have now. She was studying to be an engineer, quite ironic for the girl who used to complain about how hard Maths was.

"Oh, that must suck." Marie seemed genuinely sorry after hearing that. The girl was studying Accounting, a supposedly harder topic that Physics. There's the irony again.

"I know right." Ania groaned before wrapping her arms around Marie's waist. It fit perfectly. She resisted the urge to comment on it. It was getting harder with time. Ania has to admit, she was struggling.

[6 : University - The Desperation]

Marie has found someone that she fancies in this new university. Turns out, she does like boys.

Ania laid on her bed after unpacking her belongings. "Hah! Perfectly soft bed!" She exclaimed, laying down for a moment. Her mind replayed that chat between Marie and the male university student who was helping out with the orientation.

The blush creeping on Marie's innocent face as she looked up at that male student who smiled fondly at her, the nervousness and skittish behaviour. Was she jealous now?

She likes smart people. She likes people who aren't mean. She likes people who listen to her. She likes compliments and words of affirmation. Am I not all of that?

Damnit, Ania, pull yourself together.

Just then, the dorm's door opened. Lo and behold, the core reason of Ania's adoration, Marie. She stepped in with her luggage in hand before closing the door. "Ania, you really relaxed yourself, huh?" She teased.

Teasing...if Marie knew the way such words affected Ania to the point that every rose tinted dream of hers featured Marie. It's wrong, but she enjoyed it. She just needs a single ounce of affection to brighten her day.

Marie walked over in the new dormitory assigned slippers and leaned over Ania on the bed. "Tired? It was several hours on the road, I don't blame you." She chuckled lightly. Ania wanted to shut those lips.

"Don't bully me, Marie." Ania huffed as Marie laughed her ringing laugh once more, kneeling beside Ania's bed. The first scoffed lightly. "I'm tired but you have so much energy, it's unfair."

"Want me to share some?" Marie joked, leaning in closer. Just a few inches more and their lips will meet. Ania didn't waste a second, she say up slightly and made sure they did meet.

The room was silent. Ania, overwhelmed by her desperation, ran a hand through the hair on the back of Marie's head. She worried that the other would pull away yet she stayed.

Marie took one of Ania's hands and interlocked their fingers together, pushing down the latter onto the bed. Yet, she still was the one who pulled away first. "Now you have my energy."

...I want more. Please, Marie, give me more.

"Thanks, feeling refreshed." Ania chuckled, though most of it died in her throat. So that's what Marie tastes like. Sweet plum and apple. Like the first breath of spring. "That was...something."

Marie nodded her head. "You bet." She said, "actually, the guy that helped with the arrangement of our dorms is quite my type. He's majoring in Accounting as well." Her face burned slightly red.

...him? Am I not your type? I worked so hard, won't you notice me?

"Ah, good for you." Ania muttered under her breath. Marie smiled once again. "Well, that aside, you really like that kiss, huh? I can give you more during other days." She suggested with a smirk.

Ania didn't reject it and Marie kept her promise. Sometimes, it went beyond kisses but Marie often stopped it at that. Of course Ania listened, even when her body ached for more. She loved Marie.

[7 : Working - The Fiance]

Ah, so we're both working. Marie's an accountant, I'm an engineer. She lives together with me. I live together with her. It's almost like a couple.

Almost. Because she's now engaged to that man from our university days. How...wonderful.

His name is Erik, a normal name. He's exactly Marie's type. Smart, calm, relatable. It's almost as if all my efforts were in vain.

Marie stepped into the room, interrupting my thoughts as she returned from her date once again. "Ania, Erik bought a bouquet of flowers for me! It's roses though, but it's the thought that counts."

Ania smiled once, though it didn't really reach her eyes. "I suppose that's fine. But maybe he doesn't know what your favourite flowers are, so tell him next time. Hopefully he buys the correct one."

He's useless. You don't like roses. You love rhododendrons. You love how they appear so delicate yet elegant. You constantly drew them in your notebooks.

Everywhere we went too. Those middle school field trips. High school visitations. Campus tours. You always drew them when there was nothing to write.

I still remember the smile on your face when I first asked you what your favourite flowers were. You had asked for mine, and I was unsure. But now I'm pretty sure that they're my favourite too.

"You think? I forgot if I told him earlier, I'll text him then. We're planning to have dinner tonight, wanna join?" Marie asks Ania, an innocent smile on her face.

Ania shrugged, focusing on her work. She was designing something unimportant (in her opinion) for a commission. "I'm not sure, I might be busy tomorrow night as well."

It's not that, I just don't want to look at him. To look at him making you smile the way you used to smile at me drives me insane with rage. But to act on it would be to disappoint you.

"Ah, hrm, alright then. I'll go shower!" Marie placed a quick kiss to Ania's forehead before scurrying off. Ania's hand trailed over to that exact spot, holding onto it tightly as if it were a lifeline.

As the sound of water started in the bathroom, Ania leaned back on her chair, taking a break from her commission. She then received a text from the person who has requested it.

"Could you make have cute frog motive? My wife loves them for some odd reason but as long as she loves it, I'll pay."

Oh.

So that's what love is. To accept them no matter what. To see the flaws and compliment them. To hug them tight even when they're covered in thorns. Or just that frog, I guess.

Ania leaned forward, returning to her desk to edit the design as requested. My wife. That title, that word, that promise. She remembered her kindergarten years. They had put on a play, it was definitely romance.

She forgot the script, but one part was ever an clear in her mind. "Fear not, I utter no lie. Your hand I shall take in wed. Till death do us part." She mumbled to herself incoherently.

The words were sweet but felt bitter in her tongue. Those were words she can't vow to Marie. Or maybe she could, but not now.

Her fiance...he's really incapable...why shouldn't he leave?

[8: Wedding - The Acceptance]

Oh. Now she's getting married. She looks so beautiful, so gorgeous, ethereal, shining, mine? No. She's going to marry Erik. I wish I had uttered those vows earlier.

Marie stood in front of her, laughing with the other bridesmaids before they left. Ania was supposed to be one, the Maid of Honour actually, but she turned down the offer.

She didn't want to stand next to the woman she loved acting as a friend. She would be lying to herself. She agreed to emcee, however. If it meant she could utter Marie's name over and over again without suspicion.

Without doors closed. Without Marie out of the house. Without a voice message playing on repeat. Marie spun slowly in her wedding gown. There were only ten minutes left until she had to walk down the aisle. Ania felt suffocated.

"Ania, thank you for coming. I'm slightly sad that you won't be standing with me as my Maid of Honour though." She frowned slightly before her smile returned, "Nonetheless, you're still here with me."

- Seven minutes -

Ania chuckled lightly, "Of course." It was meant to always be me by your side. "I'll be by your side on such a special day."

We were created for the other. You're the peace, I'm the chaos. We're perfectly intertwined no matter what.

"You both were created for each other. You're the peace, he's the action. Perfectly synchronized."

- Five minutes -

To wish you to be happy, it must be because of me. We are each other's source of joy.

"I wish you a happy marriage, you both are each other's source of joy."

So please...

- Three minutes -

I love you.

"Enjoy your new life."

Even if it's without me.