Chapter 4: Safer Alone

Jiho learned two important things during his second month in the neighborhood.

The first was that Park Areum talked almost as much as he did.

The second was that Seo Minjae had not always been this quiet.

The discovery happened completely by accident.

Well.

Mostly.

"Areum."

"What?"

"Was Minjae born old?"

Areum nearly choked on her juice.

"What?"

Jiho pointed dramatically toward the window.

Outside, Minjae sat beneath a tree reading.

Again.

"When I was eleven, I climbed a wall and broke my arm."

"Okay?"

"When Hyunwoo was eleven, he got stuck inside a shopping cart."

"Okay?"

"When Seungmin was eleven, he accidentally dyed his hair green."

"Okay?"

Jiho pointed again.

"What did your brother do?"

Areum looked out the window.

"Homework."

Jiho nodded solemnly.

"Terrifying."

Areum burst out laughing.

The two were sitting together during lunch break.

Since Jiwon and Areum were in the same class, they had become friends surprisingly quickly.

Mostly because Jiwon was patient enough to survive Areum's endless talking.

A rare talent.

"He wasn't always like this, you know."

Jiho looked up.

"What do you mean?"

Areum hesitated.

The smile slowly disappeared from her face.

"He used to smile more."

Jiho blinked.

Smile?

Minjae?

Impossible.

Areum continued.

"My mom told me."

Jiho listened quietly.

"He lost his mom when he was little."

The playful atmosphere vanished immediately.

Jiho's expression softened.

"Oh."

"His parents divorced first."

She stared down at her lunch tray.

"Then she died."

Jiho didn't know what to say.

He was only eleven.

But even he understood how sad that sounded.

"After that, he changed."

Areum spoke softly.

"Mom says he became quiet."

"Did he have friends?"

She shook her head.

"Not really."

Jiho looked toward the window again.

Minjae was still reading.

Completely alone.

Like always.

For some reason, the sight felt different now.

Sadder.

"Brother is nice though."

Jiho looked back at Areum.

"He helps me with homework."

"He remembers my favorite snacks."

"He buys me birthday presents."

A small smile appeared.

"He just doesn't talk much."

Jiho nodded.

For once, he didn't have a joke ready.

That evening, Jiho sat on the swing in the neighborhood playground.

Thinking.

Which was unusual.

Normally he preferred doing things instead.

Thinking was Seungmin's specialty.

Unfortunately, his brain refused to stop.

Minjae lost his mom.

Minjae's parents divorced.

Minjae was alone.

Suddenly a lot of things made sense.

The silence.

The distance.

The way he always looked ready to leave a conversation.

As if he expected disappointment before it happened.

Across the street, Minjae walked home from the library.

Jiho immediately jumped off the swing.

His natural state had returned.

"MINJAE!"

The other boy visibly flinched.

Victory.

Jiho jogged over.

"What?"

"I've been looking for you."

"Why?"

Jiho paused.

Good question.

Why?

The answer should have been simple.

But somehow it wasn't.

"I wanted to talk."

"You are talking."

Jiho laughed.

Minjae kept walking.

Jiho followed.

Naturally.

"Do you ever get tired?"

Minjae sighed.

"Of?"

"Being around me."

Minjae stopped.

The question surprised him.

Usually Jiho never seemed concerned about things like that.

"You should know the answer."

Jiho grinned.

"So yes?"

"Obviously."

The grin widened.

"Good."

Minjae stared.

"What?"

"If you were actually tired of me, you would've stopped answering."

That...

Was annoyingly logical.

Minjae continued walking.

Jiho followed.

Again.

Neither spoke for a while.

The silence wasn't uncomfortable.

At least not for Minjae.

Jiho eventually broke it.

Naturally.

"You're weird."

Minjae looked at him.

"So are you."

Jiho smiled.

"Then we're friends."

"We're not."

"We are."

"We're not."

"We are."

Minjae stopped responding.

Experience had taught him this argument never ended.

A few minutes later they reached home.

Jiho waved before crossing the street.

"See you tomorrow!"

Minjae nodded once.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

Then he entered his house.

And closed the door.

The familiar quiet greeted him immediately.

His father was still at work.

Sunhee was helping Areum with homework.

Everything was normal.

Everything was safe.

Minjae went upstairs.

Sat at his desk.

Opened a book.

Tried to read.

Failed.

His thoughts kept drifting elsewhere.

To Jiho.

Again.

The problem wasn't that Jiho was annoying.

Well.

He was.

But that wasn't the real problem.

The real problem was that Minjae liked him.

Simply as a person.

As a friend.

And that terrified him.

Because friends left.

Everyone left.

His mother left.

His classmates left.

People moved away.

People changed.

People forgot.

That was how life worked.

The closer someone became, the more it hurt when they disappeared.

Minjae had learned that lesson years ago.

Painfully.

Thoroughly.

Trusting people was dangerous.

Depending on people was worse.

Eventually they would see the real version of him.

The lonely version.

The sad version.

The weak version.

Then they would leave.

Just like everyone else.

And apparently, he had no energy to pretend.

That was why he kept his distance.

That was why he stayed quiet.

That was why he never let anyone get too close.

Being alone hurt sometimes.

But it was familiar.

Predictable.

Safe.

Friends were unpredictable.

Friendships ended.

People changed.

People left.

Jiho would leave too.

Maybe next month.

Maybe next year.

Maybe after finding someone more interesting.

The outcome would be the same.

So why get attached?

Why risk it?

Why care?

Minjae looked out his bedroom window.

Across the street, lights glowed warmly inside the Kang house.

Through the curtains, he could see shadows moving.

A family eating dinner together.

Laughing together.

Living together.

The sound drifted faintly through the evening air.

For a moment, something inside his chest ached.

Then he looked away.

No.

Getting used to people was dangerous.

The more important they became—

The harder they were to lose.

And Seo Minjae had already lost enough.

So if being alone was lonely...

Then so be it.

Lonely was still safer.

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