Her eyes were filled with tears. Even if she did not look
at him, her fate had brought her past and placed it right in front
of her. And even if she left there, how could she escape the
voices she could hear screaming in pain, begging for forgiveness,
trying to prove themselves, trying to stop someone? If he had
been just something, it would not have hurt this much. He was
standing there in front of her with his very existence.
If someone had asked about the state of her heart, she
would have told them that every scene was appearing in front of
her again, as if she were watching a film on television. She
suddenly placed both her hands over her ears and spoke. He was
sitting far away, yet Hanna heard her voice. She immediately
turned toward Melina and asked, “What happened?”
Hanna placed a hand on her shoulder. When her hand
touched her shoulder, and she looked at herself, tears were
clearly flowing down her face. Seeing her condition, Hanna
became worried and came closer, asking, “What happened? Why
are you crying? Is everything okay?”
Receiving Hanna’s sympathetic hand at such a sensitive
moment, she could not control her emotions anymore. She
broke down and hugged her tightly, crying uncontrollably. “I am
tired of this world. I do not want to live here,” she said while
crying, expressing her pain.
Hanna could not understand what had suddenly
happened to her or why she was crying so bitterly. “You were
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fine just a little while ago. What suddenly happened? “Hanna
asked.
Hanna hugged tightly and, between sobs, said, “Can you
lend me your shoulder? I want to cry openly.” Hearing this,
Hanna did not think it appropriate to ask any more questions
and hugged her in response.
Her sobbing sounds slowly stopped. Her eyes were
closed. Hanna began to feel uneasy. When her floor mate gently
shook her from behind, she said, “I’m fine, don’t worry.” I am
alive. My fate is not good enough to take me away.” Saying this,
she pulled away from her embrace.
“What kind of things are you saying? What have you
even seen yet?” Hanna said. She looked at her upon hearing this
and replied, “I’ve seen more of the world than even your great
grandfather.” Saying this, she started to leave.
“Where are you going? Ma’am has forbidden it,” Hanna
said.
“I have no interest in useless things,” she replied and
moved forward.
Just then, the madam’s voice came from behind,
“Where are you going? Guests have arrived.”
“Ma’am, if I sit here a little longer, I might suffocate. So
please let me go. If something happens to me, you’ll be
responsible,” she said without turning back.
Before the ma’am could say anything, she quickly left
from there.
Her steps had quickened. Tears streamed down her face,
and the sound of her sobs echoed through the corridor as she
passed by. Somehow, holding herself together, she reached the
lift and began repeatedly pressing the button. Her tears were no
longer under her control, nor were the painful thoughts that
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refused to leave her alone. Their intensity had grown so
unbearable that her head began to ache.
“When will this lift come?” She muttered, her grief
slowly turning into frustration. In anger, she struck the lift
button with her hand. She cried, instantly trying to rein in her
temper, even though she did not want to.
He had been so happy… and it had not even been a
year since he had walked out of her life. And yet, he had
forgotten everything.
How could he forget everything?
She crushed her inner voice before it could escape. Her
heart screamed to shout, to tell the world the truth, but she knew
better that this cruel world had no one willing to listen.
Just then, the lift doors slid open.
He was standing right in front of her.
The moment she saw him, her tears froze. “What are
you doing here? “She asked, hurriedly wiping her face and
glancing around. Before she could react, he grabbed her hand
and pulled her into the lift, pressing the button for the floor they
needed to reach.
She stood facing him, stunned. His hand was still
holding hers, and he was standing far too close. They stared at
each other. The shock was so deep that she completely forgot
what would happen if someone saw them together. Instead, her
past surged back into her mind, relentlessly tormenting her.
He could not bear to see her like this.
Tears filled his eyes, shaking his very soul. Gently, he
lifted one hand and placed it against the side of her face.
“Who made you cry?” he asked softly.
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His gaze remained fixed on her, yet she wasn’t truly
there. Her tears now flowed freely and mercilessly, mirroring the
world itself, as if centuries of restraint had finally broken.
He leaned closer. She didn’t move. Slowly, almost
hesitantly, he brought his lips toward her cheek and placed them
where her tears had fallen. One tear slipped onto his lips.
In that instant, she realized how dangerously close he
was.
Startled, she forced herself back to reality. Placing both
her hands firmly against his chest, she pushed him away.
He stepped back slightly. Being pushed away had hurt
him, but that pain did not matter to him right now. What
mattered was only one thing: whoever had brought tears to her
eyes, he would not let them go unpunished.
Whoever made you cry will have to cry the same way, he
vowed angrily to himself.
She leaned against the corner of the lift for support. She
was broken; her face made it painfully clear how deeply
wounded she was. Her tears refused to stop; every time a
thought crossed her mind, fresh tears spilled from her eyes.
He kept looking at her. He wanted to move closer, but
the reason for holding him back made him feel helpless and
weak. Watching her, he thought bitterly, how lucky is the person
for whom you are shedding tears… and how unfortunate am I,
that when I tried to wipe them away, you punished me while he
was spared without consequence.
His heart felt unbearably heavy. Tears filled his own
eyes. She noticed they noticed the hurt reflected there, but
perhaps she did not care anymore. Ignoring him, she turned her
face away.
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Just then, an announcement echoed inside the lift: the
lift had reached its destination.
He stood silently in one corner as the doors opened.
Without looking at him, she stepped out. After she left, he
followed. The floor was empty. He wiped his tears as he walked
behind her.
“Remember… you still remember, don’t you?” he asked
softly.
“Yes,” she replied flatly. “I remember.”
She reached her room, unlocked the door, and stepped
inside. She paused just there, at the doorway, and the moment he
entered behind her, she shut the door.
“When will you leave?” she asked.
He had not expected that question.
“Do you hate me?” he asked quietly.
“That’s not my question,” she replied in a straight,
serious tone. “Answer what I asked.”
“I already told you, “He said.
Hearing that, she stepped closer to him and, staring
straight into his eyes, said firmly, “Tomorrow, I don’t want to
see you here.”
Her words were more than he could bear.
“This room is my only shelter,” he said, his voice
breaking. “Where will I go? Do not take my shelter away from
me.”
She turned her face to the other side, avoiding his gaze.
“That’s not my problem.”
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Her cold words filled his eyes with tears.
“I’ll die,” he said softly. “They’ll kill me.”
After those words, silence fell between them, heavy,
suffocating silence.
It broke only when she turned back toward him once
more. Avoiding his eyes, she said flatly, “I don’t care,” and
shoved his shoulder as she walked toward the bathroom.
She stood in front of the mirror, staring at her
reflection. One hand pressed against one side of her face, the
other against the opposite cheek. Then she broke down crying
uncontrollably, so loudly that the man standing outside grew
restless upon hearing her pain-filled sobs.
He rushed toward the bathroom and began knocking on
the door.
“Open the door, please,” he pleaded.
“I hate myself. I hate myself,” she cried out. “Why am I
still alive? He could not recognize me. Love is a lie. I hate love, I
hate it.”
Her voice carried unbearable agony, pulling him toward
her from within.
“Open the door, or I’ll break it,” he shouted.
“Shut up. Get out of here,” she screamed back harshly.
“Who are you, anyway? I hate you. I do not need you. Leave me
alone.”
“Leave me alone,” she whispered to herself as she slid
down against the door, curling up with her head resting on her
knees.
Her tears were exhausted now.
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She was exhausted.
Hearing her cruel words, he began to cry as well. He had
never felt pain like this before, never as deeply as her words had
wounded him.
Slowly, he sank on the other side of the door, leaning
against it. He rested his head against the wood, his eyes lifted
upward, tears filling them silently.
The sound of footsteps made her restless, whose fate
had already kept her in a constant state of unease. Now the
approaching footsteps from outside unsettled her even more.
“He’s leaving,” she said, staring at the closed bathroom
door, then answered herself the next moment. “It is better this
way. I was the one who told him to go.”
Yet her words refused to stand by her. It felt as though,
once again, someone close to her was slipping away.
They will kill me…
The sentence he had said echoed in her mind again.
The footsteps came close, then stopped.
And suddenly, silence spread everywhere.
“Why isn’t he saying anything? I know he is standing
right near the door,” she thought.
Should I say something? No… I have already said too
much. Now it is his turn.
She pressed her ear against the bathroom door, hoping
he would speak. But no sound came. That silence made her
unbearably anxious.
She stood up, tense and confused.
“Should I go and stop him?” she asked herself.
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From within, her pride answered immediately, No. If
you stop him, he’ll take pride in himself. Remember, no one is
more important to you than yourself.
“But I saw sympathy for me in his eyes,” she argued
back.
Her pride replied, “Sympathy? showed sympathy, too.
But where was he when you needed him the most?
“Enough. Stop,” she whispered to herself. After a
pause, she added quietly, “Fine. You win. I won’t stop him.”
Good, her pride replied.
Through the closed bathroom door, she could clearly
hear his footsteps moving away. The sound grew fainter… and
fainter… until another sound ended everything.
The sound of the room’s door closing.
He had left.
She knew it, yet she remained inside the bathroom.
What if he is just pretending? What if he is joking with
me?
I said too many cruel things to him. I should not have
said that … yes, I should not have.
A voice of compassion rose from somewhere deep
inside her, a voice that had been buried for a long time.
Regret began to settle in her heart.
They will kill me…
His painful words refused to leave her mind.
Suddenly, her pride spoke again, overpowering her.
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What if he were lying?
Once again, pride tightened its grip, loosening the hold
of compassion.
“I don’t care,” she said, trying to reassure herself.
She slowly opened the bathroom door, peeked outside,
and looked around the room. He had truly gone.
“I don’t know whether I’m happy about his leaving…
or sad,” she thought.
Her pride answered confidently, “Sad? Obviously not.
He was disturbing your privacy. Besides, you could not keep him
here forever. Eventually, he had to step outside and face his
enemies.
“Yes… yes,” she whispered, convincing herself. “I
didn’t do anything wrong.”
She tried to please her pride with false reassurance.
But inside, she was fighting a battle.
, a battle where she could no longer tell whose side to
take:
her pride…
or her innocent heart.
She had stepped outside now, yet her eyes were still
searching for him. She did not know why, but she was certain of
one thing: he could not leave her like this. And yet, he truly had
gone.
Suddenly, a fragrance reached her senses.
This… this is the same scent.
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A faint smile appeared on her lips as she turned around,
but the smile quickly faded into sadness, because there was
nothing there except an empty room.
Yet the fragrance pulled her attention toward a piece of
paper.
Her gaze fell on a paper placed on the table, folded
neatly, and kept under a glass, as if someone had placed it there
carefully, especially for someone. On top of that paper lay a rose.
Seeing the rose, she rushed toward the paper. Now
standing close, she stared at both the paper and the rose with
suspicion.
“I do not know about this rose… but how did this
paper get here? I did not put it here,” she murmured.
She knew very well who the rose belonged to, but for
now, the paper had completely captured her attention.
This paper might be his.
Should I pick it up or not?
Let me see… if it were that important, why would he
leave it here? He would have taken it with him.
Thinking this, she reached out to pick up the paper.
A beautiful fragrance rose from it, so beautiful that it
touched her heart.
She lifted the paper and brought it closer, inhaling its
scent. And the moment she did, she was lost in that instant
when the two of them had once been so close.
She opened her eyes and looked closely at the folded
paper.
Now, she began to open it.
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As she unfolded the paper, she didn’t know why her
hands were trembling. Her fingers were shaking on their own.
The moment she started opening it, words began to
appear.
Her hands trembled even more, and in her nervousness,
the paper slipped from her hands.
“Oh no… why am I so scared? Everything is fine. But
still… I don’t know what’s written in it.”
She tried to calm herself, but her body was still
trembling. Her breathing, which had been slow before, was now
rapid.
“I don’t know why… but I’m not getting good vibes,”
she thought to herself.
Her hand moved toward the paper again.
She picked it up once more, this time with shaking
hands.
The paper read:
I am leaving not because I want to be separated from
you, nor because you asked me to go, but because death itself is
calling me.
I could never tell you this, but my soul has a very deep
connection with yours. When a soul is torn away, the pain is
unbearable. I died the very moment you said those words to me.
If I now die at the hands of others, that death will be
meaningless.
You are right, one should never trust strangers, because
sometimes even our own begin to feel like strangers.
I love you.
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I wanted to say this to your face-to-face, but it is my
misfortune that perhaps you will read this letter only after my
death, or maybe it will get lost somewhere, used like an ordinary
piece of paper.
One last thing… perhaps you will never love me, but I
will always stay with you, remain close to you, and never let any
harm come to you.
My final goodbye.
Tears streamed down her face as she finished reading.
Now the realization of her mistake struck her with brutal force.
“What have I done?” she cried.
“If something happens to him… no, no, I won’t let
anything happen to him.”
She clutched her head and broke down sobbing. She
didn’t know what to do or where to go.
“I can’t just sit here like this… yes, I’ll take this with
me.”
Her eyes fell on the knife placed on the table. The
moment she saw it, she picked it up and, without thinking,
slipped it into her pocket.
“But how will I go outside?”
She paused for a moment, then said firmly, “I do not
care. Right now, all that matters is him.”
Her hands were trembling. She was terrified of what if
she got late. What if she could not find him?
Countless questions raced through her mind, widening
the chaos of her thoughts.
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She put on a mask, wore her shoes, and still dressed in
her nightgown, preparing herself to leave just as she was.
She opened the door of the room slightly and peeked
outside.
“There’s no one here…”
“Just like always… you’re so lucky,” she whispered,
thinking of him.
She stepped out and gently closed the door behind her.
Her footsteps quickened as she moved toward the lift that led to
the ground floor, right in front of him, yet still so far.
The lift took a while to come down. Her entire body
was shaking.
The lift doors opened.
And the moment they did, she saw him standing there,
surrounded by four men.
Her trembling froze him to the spot.
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