Chapter 1 ‘Male lead pov ‘

STEPHEN:

I was in the same class as her in the second year of middle school. I changed my seat, and now I was sitting in front of her.

To be honest, I didn't like her at all.

She had always been that nerdy girl since elementary school, and we didn't even look at each other, let alone talk.

Now, though, she looked... different. I don't know, maybe it was her eyes.

We were wearing masks because it was during the coronavirus pandemic, so her eyes looked mesmerizing.

I used to turn around and annoy her because when she was angry or scared, her big eyes would shine, and she looked so cute.

Then one day, she was crying and told me not to talk to her anymore. I kept talking and annoying her, and then she quietly said, "My best friend likes you. Please don't talk to me. She said she's getting jealous."

After her best friend confessed to me, I looked at Armela, but she wasn't looking at me. She seemed completely uninterested, so I said to myself, Why not be with her best friend? I regret that decision so much because maybe it's one of the reasons I feel so broken now.

I never touched her best friend.

We just hugged to let the class know we were together. We were just stupid kids.

That's it.

Why was I expecting Armela to react when her best friend confessed to me? And why was I upset that she stopped talking to me just because her friend wanted her to?

Now I know, but back then I didn't, and I messed everything up, as always...

Armela became my life before I even realized it. We weren't that close, but surprisingly, every time I looked at her, I got lost. Yes, every time I looked, because I still love her.

I was always the center of attention, but once I started looking at her, I couldn't take my eyes off her. Even then, she didn't care... and I still can't accept that.

A lot happened between us over those five years.

I tried so hard, but I still don't know what went wrong.

I lost myself so many times. I lost control, something I had never done before, because that's not who I am. My pride means everything to me, but maybe that's another reason I feel so empty today.

Do I regret some things? Yes.

But was it really my fault? What really happened, and why did it happen this way? Maybe only other people can answer those questions... or maybe only her.

My life.

Or should I say, the one who destroyed my life in the most beautiful way.

What is love to me?

She is.

I don't have another answer.

Only the people who have gone through a painful love can understand that sometimes love is a pain we choose to carry because it's the only pain that also brings happiness.

Call me selfish or whatever you want. I don't care.

All I know is that this pain will follow me forever.

I tried to express my feelings once.

I'll talk about that too.

I said some embarrassing things to her, and I'll share those too.

I'll say everything, as long as she understands that whatever I did, I did for her.

A thirteen-year-old boy fell for her, and sadly, it wasn't just a crush.

It was something beautiful that slowly became torture for him...

For me.

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