Chapter 4: THE RAIN TEST *

POV: REN

*TW:* Rain, panic attack, car, mention of death, emotional distress

---

April came early this year.

It’s only March 28th and it’s raining.

Not the soft kind. The heavy, loud, _April 12th_ kind.

The kind that sounds like tires on wet pavement.

I’ve been okay for 3 weeks.

New friends. Art club. Kaito’s texts that say _“you good?”_ at 11pm.

I let myself believe maybe the future changed.

The rain says otherwise.

---

Monday. 4th period ends.

The sky is gray and angry. Everyone’s pulling out umbrellas.

My hands won’t stop shaking.

Beep beep beep. Hospital machines.

I’m 18 again. Cold. Wet. Can’t breathe.

"Ren?"

Mina. She’s looking at me weird. "You’re white as paper."

"I’m fine," I lie. My voice cracks.

She frowns. "It’s just rain."

"Yeah." I grab my bag. "Just rain."

I take the long way out. The way that avoids the main gate.

Avoids the crosswalk on 4th.

Avoids everything.

Rule #1: *Avoid him when it matters.*

It matters today.

I’m halfway to the side gate when I hear it.

"Ren!"

Kaito. Running. No umbrella. Track jacket soaked.

"What are you doing?" he asks, out of breath. "You’re going the wrong way."

"The gate’s closed on that side," I say. Fast. "I’m taking the long route."

He looks at me. Really looks. Sees my shaking hands. My pale face.

"Hey," he says soft. "It’s just rain."

My throat closes. "Don’t say that."

He blinks. "Say what?"

"That it’s just rain."

The words come out too loud. Too desperate.

Kaito goes still. Rain in his eyelashes.

"Okay," he says. "Not just rain. What is it?"

I can’t tell him. _I died in rain like this._

So I shake my head. "Nothing. Forget it."

I try to walk past him.

He steps in front of me. Not blocking. Just... there.

"Let me walk you," he says. "To the bus. Or home. Whatever."

"Why?"

"Because you look like you’re gonna pass out." He holds out his umbrella. Big. Black. Enough for two.

"Come on. Rule of track team: no one runs alone in bad weather."

That almost makes me laugh. Almost.

I step under the umbrella with him.

We’re close. Shoulder to shoulder. I can smell detergent and sweat.

We don’t talk.

Just the sound of rain on the umbrella.

Step. Step. Step.

At the bus stop, I pull away.

"Thanks," I mumble.

Kaito nods. Water dripping off his hair.

"Text me when you get home," he says. Like it’s normal. Like we do that.

I nod and get on the bus.

I don’t text him.

---

That night it rains harder.

I’m in my room. Lights off. Sketchbook open but I can’t draw.

Every time it thunders I’m back on the pavement.

My phone buzzes.

> *Kaito:* you home?

> *Kaito:* the rain’s bad

> *Me:* im home

> *Me:* im okay

Three dots.

> *Kaito:* you dont sound okay

> *Kaito:* can i call?

My heart stops.

Rule #3: *DO NOT fall for him.*

Calling is falling.

> *Me:* no

> *Kaito:* ok

> *Kaito:* then just stay on the phone with me. no talking.

> *Kaito:* just so its not quiet

I stare at the screen for a full minute.

Then I press call.

Silence.

Just breathing. His and mine.

And the rain against both our windows.

10 minutes.

20 minutes.

My breathing slows down.

"Better?" he whispers finally.

"Yeah," I whisper back.

"Good." A pause. "Night, Ren."

"Night."

He hangs up first.

---

Tuesday. The rain stops.

But the test isn’t over.

I’m in the hallway before 1st period. Wet shoes from puddles.

Two of Kaito’s teammates are by the lockers. The same two from before.

They see me. Smirk.

"Look who it is. Rain boy."

"Where’s your bodyguard?"

My chest tightens.

Beep beep beep.

A hand lands on my shoulder. Not theirs.

"Problem?" Kaito’s voice. Behind me.

The guys straighten up. "No, man. Just joking."

"Don’t," Kaito says. Simple. "He’s with me today."

_With me._

Two words.

They shouldn’t matter. They do.

The guys leave. Fast.

Kaito turns to me. "You okay?"

I nod. Can’t speak.

He sighs. "Come to practice after school. Not to draw. Just... come. Sit. It’ll be loud. People. Safer than being alone."

It’s an order and a question.

"Okay," I say.

---

Practice. Track field. Mud everywhere.

I sit on the bleachers with my sketchbook. Not drawing. Just holding it.

Kaito runs laps. Fast.

Every time he passes, he glances up at me. Checks.

After, he’s sweaty and tired.

"You stayed," he says, sitting two steps below me.

"You said to."

He laughs. One short sound. "Fair."

We watch the team pack up. The sun is coming out. Steam rising from the track.

"Kaito," I say. Before I can stop myself.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you... nice to me now?"

He goes quiet. Picks at the metal bench.

"Because I wasn’t before," he says. "And I think about that. A lot."

The honesty knocks the air out of me.

"You don’t have to fix it," I say.

"I know." He looks up at me. "I want to."

Rule #3 is burning.

The field is empty now. Just us and the wet track.

"I should go," I say.

"Yeah." He stands. "I’ll walk you to the gate."

We walk in silence.

At the gate, he stops.

"Hey Ren."

"Yeah?"

"If it rains again... you can text me. Anytime. Even at 3am."

"Why would you—"

"Because someone should’ve done that for me," he cuts in. "Before."

I don’t know what to say to that.

So I just nod. "Okay."

---

That night I open my sketchbook.

I don’t draw the rain.

I draw an umbrella. Big and black.

Two people under it. Not touching.

Under it I write:

_Rule #1: Avoid him when it matters._

I cross out _Avoid_.

Write: _Let him stay when it matters._

That’s the most dangerous thing I’ve written yet.

Outside, the clouds are clearing.

No tires. No hospital.

Just rain, and someone who stayed.

*END OF CHAPTER 4*

---

*AUTHOR’S NOTE* 🫶

We survived the rain. Barely.

*Next:* Chapter 5: "Names and Napkins"

Where Ren learns that being known is scarier than being alone.

Thank you for staying with me through the rain 🫶

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