Heart drums

He was still kneeling at threshold. Black dragon armor with golden dragon on chest, black cape was still flying a little because wind keep coming from bamboo grove behind. He dont look up first, head bowed, shoulders big, blocking half doorway. Behind him whole courtyard was kneeling too, armor clanging same time when they kneel. Petals fell on his black hair topknot with golden pin. No one breathe loud. Same morning, same dust.

Inside hall, Mama Zhou came close and pull her sleeve. Old hands rough, tight, shaking more than Su Lian's hands. She was wearing same blue apron she wear every day since Su Lian was baby. "Xiao Jie, Xiao Jie you must say something, they will think you refuse again" she whisper. Her white hair messy from wind, eyes red not from crying but from dust. She was more than maid, she was family. She raised Su Lian when mother gone. She was scared but still standing near her.

Her hands inside wide sapphire blue sleeves was shaking bad. She clenched fists inside sleeves so soldiers wont see shaking. On rosewood table, broken red seal was still there, pieces scattered, some stuck in spilled tea. She feel cold fingers even though it was spring morning.

She step forward one step. Then another. Blue tassels from crown sway left and right when she move, brushing her cheeks. Petals on floor crushed under her black shoes with golden phoenix, but she make no sound. The main hall was same hall where this morning she and Mama Zhou was drinking tea and talking about making osmanthus cake, playful talk. Now hall feel big and empty and cold because many eyes was looking from courtyard. Her heart was beating loud like drum.

He lift head slowly. Their eyes meet in doorway. His eyes was dark, cold like black ice, but not cruel. There was tired line under them, like he also not sleep many nights riding through Tao Hua Lang. For one second his cold face soften a little when he see her shaking hands inside blue sleeves. Petals fell between them, pink falling slow. She quickly look away because her cheeks feel hot suddenly. Mama Zhou saw this and make small smile even though she scare, because young miss never look at any boy like this before.

In her head, a memory come same time, even though she still standing in same hall. When she was 6 years old, same peony courtyard but summer, not spring. She and Li Mei, her only friend from village, was playing in peonies, laughing, wearing small red hanfu same color. Mama Zhou was younger then, in same blue apron, shouting "Don't step on flowers!" but laughing too. They was so playful, putting peonies on head like crown. That was before Li Mei married and move far. Now garden outside trampled by boots.

On rosewood table behind her, three blue and white porcelain teacups was still shaking. Tea spilled more, making brown stain on old wood, mixing with peach petals. One cup roll but not break. Broken red dragon seal jumped little when wind come through doors. It was same table where this morning tea was hot and sweet. Now tea was cold, petals floating in spilled tea. Mama Zhou still kneeling near table, looking at shaking cups, not at soldiers outside. Her hands tight on apron.

Outside through big doorway you could see courtyard full of black armored soldiers kneeling with yellow dragon banners, peach petals covering stone ground like dirty pink snow now. Mist from Yu Feng mountains behind was still there, but flags cut through mist. They was all kneeling, heads bowed, waiting for her answer. No bird sound. Only wind chimes screaming from eaves. The whole world was waiting for one girl in same red dress with golden phoenix to speak one word.

Beyond Vermilion Gate, a black palanquin was waiting. It had yellow dragon curtains, thick and heavy, embroidered with golden dragons. Black horses in front, black armor drivers standing still. It was empty. It was for her. Curtains moved a little in wind, like it was breathing. Peach blossoms fell on its roof and stayed. She had never ride palanquin before, only walk through Tao Hua Lang on foot. Now they bring palanquin to take her away same morning, no time to pack.

She still holding golden decree in both hands. Same decree she broke seal in Episode 2, same golden silk with black ink. She read it again in head, words short and cold, same as before. Her face was worried, brows pulled together, small crease between them. Wind blew through hall, making her long black hair move, blue tassels tangled. She dont know what to do. If she say no, Mama Zhou and manor become traitor. If she say yes, she leave home she never left since child.

The four bronze phoenix wind chimes under eaves was still screaming. Not soft ding-ling like three years before. Now they clanged hard, bronze phoenixes hitting jade discs, blue tassels flying straight out like they want to break. Petals tore from peach trees and flew sideways into hall, landing on her red hanfu with golden phoenix embroidery. The sound hurt ears. It was same chimes that used to sing when mother was alive. Now they scream like warning.

She stand alone in doorway now, in same red hanfu with wide sapphire blue sleeves and golden phoenix crown with blue tassels, long black hair past waist, small black shoes with golden phoenix. Whole courtyard kneeling before her, General kneeling at threshold, Mama Zhou kneeling inside. She dont say yes, she dont say no. She just stand there, hands shaking inside blue sleeves, looking at black palanquin outside Vermilion Gate. Morning still morning, sun not yet high.

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