The First Time

"Three is a lucky number" I have heard that phrase too many times that I sometimes find it annoying. Why, you might ask? Well ironically, although I do not believe much in luck, I could not help but notice that there's always this three way pattern in my life and it rejoices upon my bad fortune or perhaps I really am just unfortunate. Three years of being together and we struggle in picking up all the shattered pieces of the two of us, fights are still constant between us. We make up and say sorry  then we have a great time together but usually, it lasts only three days max, so you see why 'three' is undeniably starting to irritate me.

"Sometimes, people fall out of love" that phrase is bullshit, I tell you. People don't fall out of love, why they think they do is hilarious. The love we have never ever goes away, it's always there, whether great or dim or is slowly being replaced with fondness and acceptance but those two are a part of love too. After all, love comes in various forms amd sizes. We think we "fall out of love" towards people, however, it is the wariness we feel because of circumstances, unexpected situations, breaking of trusts, lies whether small or big, inconsistency, problems, society, criticism, and so much more of life's drama especially pain and lack of communication. Love is always present as what I have previously mentioned, it never dies. The heart and mind however, grow tired of many things but never of love. Falling is the easy part, staying is the real challenge because it is a matter of choice between two partners to stand by with one another through thick and thin especially at times where both of you make it difficult for each other to be loveable.

When it gets hard, take a respite. When you seem to have lost yourself, take the time to get to know yourself all over again. When your very being is in turmoil, learn how to forgive and accept things that are out of one's control but never forget the lessons learned, cautious this time, the pain it may bring is like a crime.

Here I have a letter, it baffles me so...

I was a cold being

Day by day I make it my routine

I was alive, yet not quite living

So many shadows I live in

You came along

I was thrown in a field of confusion

I've so many fears, Am I strong?

What is my resolution?

I didn't know when, didn't know how

I keep seeing you in a different light with me

I wasn't so afraid now

Suddenly, love was a sight to see

Reminiscing old times surely brings back emotions I have long buried in the deepest parts of my heart. Perhaps there really is no such things as luck? Such phenomenon eventually runs out in long journeys as people take on different paths.

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