CHAPTER 3

THAT EVENING I return to my room and slide

my hand beneath my mattress to make sure the gun is still there. My fingers

brush over the trigger, and my throat tightens like I am having an allergic

reaction. I withdraw my hand and kneel on the edge of the bed, taking hard

swallows of air until the feeling subsides. What is wrong with you? I shake my

head. Pull it together. And that is what it feels like: pulling the different

parts of me up and in like a shoelace. I feel suffocated, but at least I feel

strong. I see a flicker of movement in my periphery and look out the window

that faces the apple orchard. Johanna Reyes and Marcus Eaton walk side by side,

pausing at the herb garden to pluck mint leaves from their stems. I am out of

my room before I can evaluate why I want to follow them. I sprint through the

building so that I don't lose them. Once I am outside, I have to be more

careful. I walk around the far side of the greenhouse and, after I see Johanna

and Marcus disappear into one row of trees, I creep down the next row, hoping

the branches will hide me if either of them looks back. “. . . been confused

about is the timing of the attack," says Johanna. "Is it just that

Jeanine finally finished planning it, and acted, or was there an inciting

incident of some kind? " I see Marcus's face through a divided tree trunk.

He presses his lips together and says, "Hmm." "I suppose we'll

never know." Johanna raises her good eyebrow. "Will we?" "No,

perhaps not." Johanna places her hand on his arm and turns toward him. I

stiffen, afraid for a moment that she will see me, but she looks only at

Marcus. I sink into a crouch and crawl toward one of the trees so that the

trunk will hide me. The bark itches my spine, but I don't move. "But you

do know," she says. "You knowwhy sheattacked when she did. I may not

be Candor anymore, but I can still tell when someone is keeping the truth from

me." "Inquisitiveness is self-serving, Johanna." If I were

Johanna, I would snap at him for a comment like that, but she says kindly,

"My faction depends on me to advise them, and if you know information this

crucial, it is important that I know it also so that I can share it with them.

I'm sure you can understand that Marcus." "There is a reason you

don't know all the things I know. A long time ago, the Abnegation were

entrusted with some sensitive information," says Marcus. "Jeanine

attacked us to steal it. And if I am not careful, she will destroy it, so that

is all I can tell you. "But surely—" "No," Marcus cuts her

off. "This information is far more important than you can imagine. Most of

the leaders of this city risked their lives to protect it from Jeanine and

died, and I will not jeopardize it now for the sake of sating your selfish

curiosity." Johanna is quiet for a few seconds. It's so dark now I can

barely see my own hands. The air smells like dirt and apples, and I try not to

breathe it too loudly. "I'm sorry," says Johanna. "I must have

done something to make you believe I am not trustworthy." "The last

time I trusted a faction representative with this information, all my friends

were murdered," he replies. "I don't trust anyone anymore." I

can't help it—I lean forward so that I can see around the trunk of the tree.

Both Marcus and Johanna are too preoccupied to notice the movement. They are

close together, but not touching, and I've never seen Marcus look so tired or

Johanna so angry. But her face softens, and she touches Marcus's arm again,

this time with a light caress. "In order to have peace, we must first have

trust," says Johanna. "So, I hope you change your mind. Remember that

I have always been your friend, Marcus, even when you did not have many to

speak of." She leans in and kisses his cheek, then walks to the end of the

orchard. Marcus stands for a few seconds, apparently stunned, and starts toward

the compound. The revelations of the past half hour buzz in my mind. I thought

Jeanine attacked the Abnegation to seize power, but she attacked them to steal

information—information only they knew. Then the buzzing stops as I remember

something else Marcus said: Most ofthe leaders of this city risked their lives

for it. Was one of those leaders my father? I have to know. I have to find out

what could possibly be important enough for the Abnegation to die for—and the

Erudite to kill for.  I pause before

knocking on Tobias's door, and listen to what's going on inside. "No, not

like that," Tobias says through laughter. "What do you mean, 'not

like that'? I imitated you perfectly." The second voice belongs to Caleb. "You

did not." "Well, do it again, then." I push open the door just

as Tobias, who is sitting on the floor with one leg stretched out, hurls a

butter knife at the opposite wall. It sticks, handle out, from a large hunk of

cheese they positioned on top of the dresser. Caleb, standing beside him,

stares in disbelief, first at the cheese and then at me. "Tell me he's

some kind of Dauntless prodigy," says Caleb. "Can you do this

too?" He looks better than he did earlier—his eyes aren't red anymore and

some of the old spark of curiosity is in them, like he is interested in the

world again. His brown hair is tousled, his shirt buttons in the wrong

buttonholes. He is handsome in a careless way, my brother, like he has no idea

what he looks like most of the time. "With my right hand, maybe," I

say. "But yes, Four is some kind of Dauntless prodigy. Can I ask why

you're throwing knives at cheese?"

Tobias's eyes catch mine on the word

"Four." Caleb doesn't know that Tobias wears his excellence all th in

his own nickname. "Caleb came by to discuss something," Tobias says

leaning his head against the wall as he looks at me. "And knife-throwing

just came up somehow." "As it so often does," I say, a small

smile inching its w across my face. He looks so relaxed, his head back, his arm

slung over his knee. We stare at each other for a few more seconds than is

socially acceptable. Caleb clears his throat. "Anyway, I should be getting

back to my room," Caleb says, looking from Tobias to me and back again.

"I'm reading this book about the water-filtration systems. The kid who

gave it to me looked at me like I was crazy for wanting to read it. I think

it's supposed to be a repair manual, but it's fascinating." He pauses.

"Sorry. You probably think I'm crazy too." "Not at all,"

Tobias says with mock sincerity. "Maybe you should read that repair manual

too, Tris. It sounds like something you might like." "I can loan it

to you," Caleb says. "Maybe later," I say. When Caleb closes the

door behind him, I give Tobias a dirty look. "Thanks for that," I

say. "Now he's going to talk my ear off about water filtration and how it

works. Though I guess I might prefer that to what he wants to talk to me

about." "Oh? And what's that?" Tobias quirks his eyebrows. "Aquaponics?"

"Aqua-what?" "It's one of the ways they grow food here. You

don't want to know." "You're right, I don't," I say. "What

did he come to talk to you about?" "You," he says. "I think

it was the big-brother talk. 'Don't mess around with my sister' and all

that." He gets up. "What did you tell him?" He comes toward me. "I

told him how we got together—that's how knife throwing came up," he says,

"and I told him I wasn't messing around." I feel warm everywhere. He

wraps his hands around my hips and presses me gently against the door. His lips

find mine. I don't remember why I came here in the first place. And I don't

care. I wrap my uninjured arm around him, pulling him against me. My fingers

find the hem of his T-shirt, and slide beneath it, spreading wide over the

small of his back. He feels so strong. He kisses me again, more insistent this

time, his hand8 squeezing my waist. His breaths, my breaths, his body, my body,

we are so close there is no difference. He pulls back, just a few centimeters. almost

don't let him get that far. "This isn't what you came here for," he

says. "No." "What did you come for, then?" "Who cares?

I push my fingers through his hair and draw his mouth to mine again. He doesn't

resist, but after a few seconds, he mumbles, "Tris," against my

cheek. "Okay, okay." I close my eyes. I did come here for something

important: to tell him the conversation I overheard. We sit side by side on

Tobias's bed, and I start from the beginning. I tell him how I followed Marcus

and Johanna into the orchard. I tell him Johanna's question about the timing of

the simulation attack, and Marcus's response, and the argument that followed. As

I do, I watch his expression. He does not look shocked or curious. Instead, his

mouth works its way into the bitter pucker that accompanies any mention of

Marcus. "Well, what do you think?" I say once I finish. "I

think," he says carefully, "that it's Marcus trying to feel more

important than he is." That was not the response I was expecting. "So

. . . what? You think he's just talking nonsense?" "I think there

probably is some information the Abnegation knew that Jeanine wanted to know,

but I think he's exaggerating its importance. Trying to build up his own ego by

making Johanna think he's got something she wants, and he won't give it to

her." "I don't . . ." I frown. "I don't think you're right.

He didn't sound like he was lying." "You don't know him like I do. He

is an excellent liar." He is right—I don't know Marcus, and certainly not

as well as he does. But my instinct was to believe Marcus, and I usually trust

my instincts. "Maybe you're right," I say, "but shouldn't we

find out what's going on? Just to be sure?" "I think it's more

important that we deal with the situation at hand," says Tobias. "Go

back to the city. Find out what's going on there. Find a way to take Erudite

down. Then maybe we can find out what Marcus was talking about, after this is

all resolved. Okay?" I nod. It sounds like a good plan—a smart plan. But I

don't believe him—I don't believe it's more important to move forward than to

find out the truth. When I found out that I was Divergent . . . when I found

out that Erudite would attack Abnegation . . . those revelations changed everything.

The truth has a way of changing a person's plans. But it is difficult to

persuade Tobias to do something he doesn't want to do, and even more difficult

to justify my feelings with no evidence except my intuition. So, I agree. But I

do not change my mind.

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