I Remember the pain

"Hey Dad," said Camilla with a small smile. "It's her birthday," she said with her eyes fill with tears. Her Dad give her a half-smile and came and hanged her.

...I remember when I was 10, I came home from school looking for mom. The place I found her was in the bathroom just laying there. "Mom, MOM, MOM WAKE UP," Camilla is saying while shaking her mom. She ran to the kitchen and took the house phone and call 911. She killed herself, she left me all because of her Mental Health. Why mom why did you have to leave me. why do you have to go so soon? Why am I here right now sitting for your funeral but not your birthday? Why did you leave me and Dad? I need you, why mom, why did you have to overdose? The funeral was long and quiet. I didn't cry once there. I still thought everything is a dream and think when I wake up, everything will be okay. I love you mom, you are my everything, come back to me and Dad please, we need you. We left and came home. Every day we ate dinner in silence, no laughter, now there were only 2 sets that were filled. Now there is no sweet voice I hear when I wake up. I knew Dad was hurting but he won't say it, he had to be strong for me. Every time we try to fight our pain it was no use. Nothing is going to change that mom is gone. I look up at the sky sometimes to know that you in a good place. Do you miss us, as we do? Don't worry mom I will keep Dad from hurting alone. I will make him do other things other than work. I might even put him in a dating app. ha. For 23 years I wake up thinking about how my world growing could have been with you here. You always told me to be brave, and kind. But mom you aren't kind to yourself you always put everyone before yourself. you were always the African beauty that shined on a rainy day All this time I am still hurting but I am hoping for something more in the future. I remember when I was younger. kids will call you a drug addict, they will call you crazy. That just what their parents tell them, they don't know the story. You always say when you look at me, you see something big. But when I look at myself, I see you. A big part of me that will always stay. But why did you overdose? These are the question I need an answer to. *Flashback ended*...

"Look at how much you have grown," her Dad said with a smile. "Did you see me like 2 weeks ago," she replays with a laugh. Her Dad's smile fade from his face. She notices and asked, "what wrong." "Let set down and talk," he said. They set on the couch, "you're getting married, " he said with a half-smile. She looked at him with disbelief, she moved her body a little. "your mom and I planed it before she died, I didn't agree to but now I think it's time," He said with guilt. " I don't want you to be alone in this world," he explained. "But I have you," she replayed. He looked away and said, not ever, I was diagnosed with cancer." She looks at him shakes her head. Her eyes filled with tears, "no-no, you can't leave me..... please Dad," she said with tears rolling down her cheek. "Don't cry I have some time left," he said trying to make her feel better. My wish is to marry this guy at least for a year and see where that takes you. "Dad nothing is okay, you can't leave me," she said with sadness. He looks at her and replayed, "I will always be with you, okay." He hugged her tightly saying, "You will always be my little girl, and I will always always be with you."

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