Til Death Do Us Apart

...'Til death do us part, I shall search for you....

...'Til death do us part, I shall yearn for you....

...'Til death do us part, I shall hold you....

...'Til your death breaks me apart, I shall be with you....

...'Til my death ends my part, I shall love you....

The blade I held tightly in between my cold hands flashed with a red glow from the eerie rays of the moon. I stared at it but at the same time not, replaying the wet warmth that this day never fails to remind me.

How many yous have I ended with my calloused hands?

How many yous have I betrayed?

How many yous have cried in painful agony as I ****** my blade deep into your skin and dug your heart from its chamber?

I love you. I love you. But I know you will never forgive me for the cruelty and abuse I branded our fate as I atone for the sins I committed.

Forgive me, my beloved. I love you.

Tears trickled from my cheeks before I even realized I had started crying. And as soon as it started, it became impossible to will it to stop.

I dropped the cursed blade from my deathly grip, the bloody blade disappearing before it hit the soft surface of the sun warmed sheets of the crimson soaked bed.

And I stared at your stillness.

My silent tears quickly turned to muffled sobs and into cries of pain and suffering as I fell to my knees beside you. My dear. My beloved. How I wish for you to despise me in your next life, but I know you will not. Fate is cruel to everyone, most especially you.

You who was pure and bright. You who was full of cheer and happiness. You who had loved the cryptic, damaged, and miserable me. I love you. Forgive me. I love you.

I brushed my fingers on your pale cheek, tracing the silent tears that dried just a second ago on your porcelain skin as I leaned down to leave one kiss. One full of promise that everything will soon end. One full of promise that I will fix everything. One full of regret and misery and apology. One full of my love. One I never failed to do from the first time to the last.

I miss you. God. I miss you so much. Please, forget me. Hate me. Despise me. Shun me out of your life that I may not kill you.

I can never bear the weight of your death. The death I caused myself. And I can never live another second knowing I will continue to do so until your love turns to hate, and I will vanish from your world.

Rising to my feet, I brushed your cheek one last time and I turned my back to you. And I walked away from your motionless body. Never once looking back even when all I wanted was to lay there with you, holding your hand instead of the blade.

'Til death do us part. 'Til your inevitable rebirth draw us together.

I waited in my own shadows for the next you to come. Basking in my suffering, hanging onto the last thread of my sanity in hopes to be together with you again without having to end your life.

You are the light to my darkness. The soul to my empty shell. The piece that completes me. My anchor.

But I have come to defile you and break you. Many times over. For years. For decades. For centuries. For eons.

This curse is what brings us apart. Yet it is the same curse that brings us together. My love. My soul. I love you. I hate that I love you, but I never ceased to do so.

For the thousandth time today, I came to watch your birth. Your sun kissed hair, golden and silky on your tiny head, shining in the clinical brightness of the dim room. But no one knows I am here, lurking in the shadows, joyous of your coming and at the same time suffering.

To this day, you never fail to return to me. And to this day, two decades from now, you will love me and I will come to hurt you again. Such is the curse for my life to end. Such is the curse for me to love you again.

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