Emotions

My sweetest conquest,

There will always come a point in a person's life when they question their existence. They’ll wonder, “Why am I here? Do I have a purpose? What exactly is the meaning of my life”. The answer is quite simple, really. There is no meaning- there isn’t a purpose- it’s just an experience fueled by emotions. You’re born, you live, and you die. Many can’t come to terms with the fact that one day their existence will fade and their conscience will waver into nothingness. If you’re a believer of science, it’s safe to assume you already know that you have 7 minutes of brain function after you die. In that time, there is a possibility that memories of your life will flash before your eyes. It may even feel as if you’re reliving the entire thing; A constant loop- being born, living, and dying. The first thing you see when you’re born is a white light and the same thing applies when death is knocking at your door. In life, you get to experience many things. Love, lust, jealousy, anger, betrayal, sadness, and much more. Emotions are essential and vital when it comes to communicating with others. To give each other a better understanding of how you really feel. It’s hard to experience things if you don’t know how to react. To go through life without a proper sentiment is like being blind and going to see a movie. It just doesn’t make sense. To be able to feel happy in the middle of a storm, to be able to cry during a loved one's death, or to celebrate the years of life you were able to express yourself. The whole point is to live a life full of emotions that can vary in so many different ways that can lead to different opportunities, different possibilities, and of course- different experiences. I know you were never a believer of science Char, but you never stopped me when I’d ramble on about such complex topics. I loved that about you. You never judged, only listened. I think it was in those moments when I could really come to terms with the love I felt for you. I always wondered what I would do without you by my side and now that I’m living it, it’s hard to navigate on my own. My world revolved around making you happy so I wouldn’t have to lose you. In the end, the outcome never changed. I guess that’s what fate had in store for us. We would go our different ways eventually. If I had one wish though, it would be to keep you with me- so I wouldn’t have to bare the thought of you not being by my side. As painful as reality is, it opened my eyes. I couldn’t live a life of an unrequited love forever. I had to get over you at some point. I never could, if I’m being honest with you. I always wondered if you knew how I felt- I did make it pretty obvious so it would be a shock if you didn’t. If you did however, I think that would hurt me more than you being clueless. Maybe if you did know- and you told me where you were in the relationship we shared, whether it was intimate or not, it would have helped me move on a lot faster. Then again, I’m only speaking hypothetically. I will never know the answer to the questions I should have asked you when I had the chance. All of the opportunities I was given were left untaken. I’ll wrap up here for now. It was nice writing to you again\~

Love, your devoted admirer

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