HUMPTY DUMPTY SAT ON A WALL

THINK-TANK: Stop! A thought of magnificent brilliance has come to me. Space people, our chemical department has given you vitamins to increase your intelligence, Take them immediately and then watch the sandwich. The meaning of the code will slowly unfold before you.

OMEGA : It shall be done, sir. Remove vitamins. (Crew takes vitamins from boxes on their belts.) Present vitamins. (They hold vitamins out in front of them, stily. Swallow vitamins, The pop the items into their nulles am gul sito. The open eyes wide the heads shaker, and then put them and to their foreteads.)

THINK-TANK :Excellent. Now, decipher the code

ALL:IT shall be done, sir (THEY frown over the book turning pages.)

OMEGA:(brightly) Aha

IOTA: (BRIGHTLY) Oho!

OOP:(bursting into laughter) Ha haaha!.

THINK-TANK :What does it say? Tell me this Instant. Transcribe Omega .

OMEGA:Yes sir (She reads oth great seriousness )

Mistress Mary, quite contrary.

How does your garden grow ?

With cockle shells and silver bells

And pretty mulds all in a row.

OOP:Ha, Ha,ha Imagine that .Pretty maids growing in a garden.

THINK-TANK: (alarmed) Stop! This is no time for levity Don't you realise the seriousness of this discovery The Earthings have dincovered how to combine agriculture and mining They can actually grow crop of rare metals such as silver And cockle shells. They can grow high explosives, too. Noodle contact out Invasion fleet.

NOODLE : They are ready to go down and take over Earth, SIR.

THINK-TANK: Tell them to hold. Tell the new information has come to us about Earth,IOTA transcribe.

IOTA: Yes, SIR (she reads very gravely) .

Hey diddle diddle! The cat and the fiddle,

The cow jumped over the moon.

The little dog laughed to see such sport,

And the disti ran away with the spoon.

OOP: (laughing)The dish ran away with the spoon!

THINK-TANK: Cease laughter. Desist. This is more and more alarming. The Earthlings have reached a high level of civilisation. Didn't you hear? They have taught their domesticated animals musical culture and space techniques. Even their dogs have a sense of humour Why, at this very moment, they may be launching an interplanetary attack of millions of cows Notify the Invasion fleet. No invasion today Oop. transcribe the next code.

OOP : Yes, sir. (reading)

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

All the King's horses and all the King's men.

Cannot put Humpty Dumpty together again.

Oh. look, sir. Here's a picture of Humpty Dumpty. Why, sir, he looks like - he looks like — (turns large picture of Humpty Dumpty towards Think-Tank and the audience)

THINK-TANK : (screaming and holding his head) It's me! It's my Great and Mighty Balloon Brain. The Earthlings have seen me, and they're after me. "Had a great fall!" - That means they plan to capture Mars Central Control and me! It's an invasion of Mars! Noodle, prepare a space capsule for me. I must escape without delay. Space people, you must leave Earth at once, but be sure to remove all traces of your visit. The Earthlings must not know that I know. (Omega. IOta, and Oop rush about, putting book back on the shelves).

NOODLE : Where shall we go, sir?

THINK-TANK : A hundred million miles away from Mars. Order the invasion fleet to evacuate the entire planet of Mars. We are heading for Alpha Centauri, a hundred million miles away. (Omega. Iota, and Oop run off right as Noodle helps Think Tank off left and the curtain closes. Spotlight shines on Historian down right.)

HISTORIAN : (chuckling) And that's how one dusty old book of nursery rhymes saved the world from a Martian invasion. As you all know, in the twenty-fifth century five hundred years after all this happened. we Earthlings resumed contact with Mars, and we even became very friendly with the Martians. By that time. Great and Mighty Think Tank had been replaced by a very clever Martian – the wise and wonderful Noodlel Oh, yes, we taught the Martians the difference between sandwiches and books. We taught them how to read, too, and we established a model library in their capital city of Marsopolis. But as you might expect, there is still one book that the Martians can never bring themselves to read. You've guessed it Mother Goosel (She bous and exits right.)

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