ᴘʀᴏʟᴏɢᴜᴇ

For those who are going to venture into 'Black Swan' I want you to keep in mind that it is a fictional novel that will involve delicate subjects.

This book will cover heavy content, including descriptions of anxiety and self-mutilation, sensitive topics and psychological and emotional content, such as depression and suicide attempt.

I recommend the reader to proceed with caution and that if you are not comfortable, stop immediately and look for another book or fanfic that you like.

...I dedicate this novel to Rystha my soulmate...

Believe me, the great possibility of making a dream come true is what makes life fantastic. If you have never failed, then it is because you have not taken the risks you should have. It is never too late to try to recover a lost dream.

^^^~ Jeon Jeongguk^^^

...ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ʙʟᴀᴅᴇs...

Being a skater requires sacrifices. A lot of training, focus and having your head on the rink 100% of the day. Adolescence was certainly the culmination of my career. Despite having endured the sequels in silence, I am not able to imagine my life without skating. The constant search for perfection became an obsession, to the point of not caring about the pain and the misuse of medicines. Perfection above all, after all.

So it was a big surprise when I failed at the World Figure Skating Championship regional two years ago. And even bigger when the news of my retirement was revealed months later. My successful career in figure skating had come to an end.

I always knew that I would not be able to perform a triple Salchow jump, a jump I did for years, although it is not the easiest of figure skating - the jump consists of three rotations, after skating on my back on the inner blade of the left skates and take off, with the back landing on the outer blade of the right skates - and it is definitely not the most difficult, but with a fractured right ankle the difficulty increases. It was my choice to continue. And it was the last time that I felt whole.

When Abel Korzeniowski's Dance For Me Wallis sounded at the World Figure Skating Championship regional gym the world around me fell silent.

Rhythmically moving the blades of the skates, as the music plays, I begin my individual performance. The wine-colored costume filled with pebbles of crystals and black feathers, caressed my skin while shining like a starry sky, encouraging me to proceed to the precise curve and form two circles with the blades, exhibiting a perfect Camel Spin.

I close my eyes for a few seconds, focusing on the sound of the blades below me. A sound as relaxing as the noise of rain. I felt the vibration speak to my body and heart in a stupidly satisfying way. I let that sensation guide me back with control and precision at the outer edge of the blades, sliding quickly down the rink. Then, I jump, performing a select Flip and landing on one of the skates. I open my arms, smiling as I move on to the next figure.

And then a wave of pain rips from my right ankle to my waist. I squint when I bite my lower lip, stifling a scream so as not to lose any points in the performance. Returning to focus on the music, ignore the inconvenience when drawing another figure, but I miss the movement momentarily losing balance, stumbling and falling on the cold surface of the rink. I take a deep breath, like a good professional, standing up and performing gracefully again for the judges.

I move the skates forward, making the most difficult jump, a triple Axel, rotating three and a half times counterclockwise after jumping with the left foot and landing on the right, on my back. I let out a sigh of relief when I hear the announcer comment on the Judging System having scored the maneuver with a maximum score of 8.5.

My eyes search for Patrice Lauzon, my trainer, finding him leaning against a meter-high wooden wall, watching me with his analytical gaze. He believes in my potential, just as my parents trust him to take me the gold medal for the Olympics, since he agreed to be my coach a year and a half ago.

With Patrice's confidence in me, I do a well-done Layback Spin, going to the penultimate and last jump of the presentation, starting the entry with a Spread Eagle and performing a Simple Axel and finishing with a triple Salchow.

However, when my skates touch the rink, I see my ankle bend in a strange way, before the immense pain drowns me in a dark and bottomless sea. I tried to resist, go back to the surface and do what I do best, but my screams were drowned out by the sea current that continued to push me to an unknown and frightening place. That was when I reached the rigid, icy ground of the rink, causing a horrendous crash as it fell and slid across the ice. I dare not open my eyes, remaining stretched the same way I fall and I cringe when I grab my fractured leg, crying like a two-year-old after losing his favorite toy.

- No ... No ... P-please ... - I sob, desperate.

I refuse to look at the audience and Patrice Lauzon, to avoid further tears. But I hear whispers of amazement and heavy footsteps on the rink, forcing me to open my wet eyes and visualize my trainer with an unreadable expression. I feel his soft touch on my shoulder, after kneeling beside me, completely terrified.

- Taehyung, can you hear me? He asked. - You hit your head, so try to stay awake, please. Talk to me, will you? Taehyung - he called again. - The paramedics are coming. Stay awake, Taehyung.

Without the strength to fight the pain that consumes every nerve cell in my body, I let the tide carry me. Closing your eyes and sinking into the deepest darkness.

...ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ sᴡᴀɴ ...

...²⁰²¹...

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