broken

They saw me.

I'll be a total object of pity in their eyes. He is aware of my feelings, maybe. No. You've to run. Go away ...just run...RUN... the voice inside me cried out loud.

I started moving.

"Anne, .... Anne.." I heard Jake's voice behind me. The kind of sound I wanted to be only mine.

I was crying. I knew I made a full joke of myself. Knowing the fact that he doesn't care about me, I still went after him. I felt so stupid.

"You're such an idiot" I told to myself. I ran..Faster... Faster... my legs started giving up. I fell this time..

I hurted myself. But this pain was nothing compared to what I was feeling inside.... I stopped there. Sat down for like hours. Cried... wept my heart out.

"That's it. I won't make fun of myself anymore.. I'm done with these. I'll now study hard and I'll be successful. Plus Jake's not the only guy. I'll find better. " my inner self shouted.

I got on my feet, pulled my bag and pulled my respect and guts together and headed home.

"I can do it... it'll be fine Anne. you can do it"

I was about to open my door when I heard,

"Hey! Anne..." Jake's voice from the back came.

"It's not what you thought Anne. I was fulfilling her wishes. She wants to be with me..." Jake's explanation did no help. It was rather a very ugly explanation. I got more heated up.

"Jake. it's okay. I don't care about it anymore. You can just leave.

"But Anne... you see things got like this and I know you like me and it wasn't easy seeing me with some...."

"So you knew? You knew how I felt about you"

"Umm... yeah like everyone does know that"

"Oh... so basically it was a fun game for you to play with me? i was just your tiny doll? You were just fucking playing with me?"

"No it's not like that. you're my best friend and you know I like you too but..."

"Get lost"

"Wha...what?"

"I said get lost."

"Oh my god... Anne you're overreacting".

"1…2…I'll count to 5 get lost in the time being"

"ANNE"

"…3…4…"

"GOD YOU'RE SO CHILDISH"

"Don't shout at me .....5. That's it" saying these I entered my house and as soon I closed the door,

I can feel all my anger turned into tears, all my tears were now rolling down. I know it wasn't a betrayal, but was it really not!! I was heartbroken, there was nothing I can do about it. I moved to my bed, lied down, clutched my pillow tightly and let everything flow.

"Cry Anne..cry out loud. This is the last time you'll be crying for that jerk".

I didn't realised how long I slept.

I woke up next day at around 5:30. The sun was shining brightly and the rays were coming inside. My sun catcher made it look beautiful. I felt like this is the time to move on. I have my whole ahead and college will get better.

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