2nd

Crying and shouting silently for all the pain she have felt every day and the fact that her parents didn’t know about it for 5 years. They are not interested anyway. She was just 13 when she and her brother find out about her condition.

Before she was eager so undergo a treatment but now all she wanted is to see her older brother in heaven. I miss him. I miss my protector. I miss my shield. I miss my strength. How I wish that I can turn back the time so that I can correct my mistakes that lead to my brother’s death.

“I’m so sorry, ya. It’s been years but still I can’t forgive myself. I always dream about that incident, it was deeply carved inside my head and whatever move on I make will always a failure”

Jane felt her knees weakening, she lie on the bed and continue crying until her heart's content. She was exhausted and fall asleep and she was awake because of her mother’s angry voice.

“Why the hell, you evil thing is here?” her mom asked like she was not her own flesh and blood.

“I did tell you a hundred times that you are prohibited to enter this room! How many IQ you’ve got in that head of yours? For you to forget huh? What a retard shit”

That was hurt. *Sighs* Never mind I was immune being called one for 5 years; I just hate the fact that they didn’t throw me out! I would gladly leave if they would ask for it.

“What?! Why the hell are you not answering? Why are you not defending yourself? Guilty are we?”

She remained silent, mouth close and low her head as if she’s a dog being scolded by her master’s. I wished this would stop. I wished my heart would stop beating. I wished I was the one who died. Before her Mom continue with her monologue, Dad interrupt.

“Hon, I want to rest! Let her be, for now”

“Good for you, evil thing” Mom said before shutting the door.

I didn’t know if I should be thankful or not. What Dad said was not to let me go. If mom is angry about my brother’s death, my dad was more angry than mom. If you’re asking why I did not leave this home that’s because of my brother's memory.

Jane with swollen red eyes go to her room and crumpled on her bed as severe headaches attacked and her vision become blurry.

Arrrrrghhh!! My head is like going to explode in any minute! Arrrrrghhh, Jesus!

The grunt of the hurt woman could be heard in the four corners of the room, its Jane’s. Nobody was there for her, nobody wants to be in her side not even her parents. She was alone all through the years, she doesn’t have someone to lean on.

Arrrrghhh! Shitt it so hurt! Is this my karma for being a stupid sister? Is this?

Her headaches last for many hours until she fall asleep without eating anything. At exactly 3 a.m she was awaken by her nightmares again. I don’t know if there’s a night that I will sleep well without getting awaken because of my nightmares. Maybe that would be the day when death welcomes me.

She go to the kitchen and drink a fresh milk after that she go back to her bed. Lying down, thinking.

Should I need to move? Before I die I want to leave my life to the fullest and being with this house is like caging me.

With that thought she got up and get her diary, there she listed down her 10 bucket list before dying. After that she get three pairs of clothes, one pair of flip flops, one pair of shoes and 18 designer bags. She left the bags that her brother gives to her special occasions. When she finished, she slowly lock her room and quietly leave the house. Before she left, she looked at their house that she leaved for 17 years.

Kuya, I hoped you would understand and support my decision for leaving our home. I’m so sorry, I just want to do this my way.

After that, she completely leaved. Good thing there’s a taxi outside their subdivision. It was an old man, maybe around 60s or 70s.

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