The Kiss

I always thought that loving someone is easy..

I wonder why some people cry so much after a break up..

I surely miss him but it’s not enough to make me cry at all.

“Are you okay, Mika? “

“Huh? “

I’m surprised. She don’t really usually talk to anyone. I look at her in awe, and for awhile I wasn’t sure if I really hear her speak. Looking at her I noticed she was uneasy and embarrassed after I react with my eyes widened in shock. I didn’t get to response right away.

“Sorry.. “ she mumbled.

I was probably busy staring at her blue eyes and red cheeks.

“ah… yeah. I’m.. I’m okay..” I stuttered. I realized I spoke in a low voice.

After I said that she looked down on her desk and started writing her notes. Her face all red and she can’t seem to stare back at me. I noticed she is pretty. Her eyelashes were long. White skin and pinkish lips. She probably have her shares of boyfriend break up experience.

Hershey that’s her name. Like my favorite chocolate bar. She is very timid and shy. She rarely participate in any classroom activity. I remember we went to the same middle school before high school, but I rarely see her with some friends or saw her hang out with anyone. I remember seeing her picking up a stray cat along the road when my mom fetch me from school. I also saw her watering the plants almost everyday.

“ ahmm… “ she softly open her mouth but she couldn’t say a word. But she look more embarrassed and her cheeks are more red.

I realized I am staring at her the whole time I’m in a daze.

“Oh s-sorry..! “ I said.

But I still have my eyes locked on her face. Seeing her expressions seems refreshing. Seems like I discovered something new.

“Mika, aren’t you gonna eat for lunch? “ Daisy come towards me and lean on my desk.

“I know you’re heart broken but you should not skip meals” she added.

“Oh.. Yeah I am not really hungry today” I replied.

I saw her eyebrows crossed and with a disappointed look on her face.

“I guess I’ll leave you be” she stand up. “I’ll go with Rica and others, they’re going to the convenient store.”

And by that she walked outside the room. I started picking up my notebook and putting it inside my bag. I don’t understand why I feel so low today. Is this what they call lovesick? I rest my head on my desk hiding my face in my arms. I closed my eyes and started drifting to sleep.

Hershey’s POV

What has gotten to me today? I don’t usually feel the necessity to speak with anyone. I don’t like talking to anyone at all. I looked at her.

What is she doing? She won’t go eat with her friends.

Is she just going to sleep?

I shake my head as if to shake my thoughts.

Why do I bother? We aren’t friends. I don’t really fit in her circle.

Well.. I don’t really have a circle. While she always have other people around her.

She is famous, beautiful and being admired by many.

She normally represent the class when we have school activities.

I probably envy her. She is the opposite of my personality.

Rumors said she recently dumped her boyfriend for 2 years.

Wesley, the basketball captain who is famous himself as well.

They were a good pair. Everyone shipped them like a celebrity couple.

I stopped.

Hey hey hey.. When did you get yourself so interested in anyone? I hear myself nag.

Maybe because of what happened earlier today.

I normally come to school early so I can water the plants. I was shocked seeing someone come to school earlier than I am. I found Mika standing near my desk and starring out the window.

“Good morning.. “ I said out of courtesy as I walked inside the room.

She looked back at me with a blank expression on her face.

“Morning..” She said and looked back outside the window.

I sat on my desk and bring out the book I recently purchase.

I tried my best to ignore her presence and started reading. She walk and sat down on her chair.

She then started to drift off somewhere thinking deep that she didn’t even notice I am still there.

That look in her eyes.. She looked so troubled that gave me the urge to ask her if she is okay.

She had been in a daze the whole half morning class.

Ah. I’m just surprised she can become like this. I put out my lunch box and started eating.

She said she is not hungry huh. I look at my sandwich and as usual my mom made two of them.

“Make sure to share Hershey” that’s what my mom always say. I don’t talk to anyone so I always have left over food when I came home. My brother would eat it anyway so it’s not a waste.

Mika’s POV

After closing my eyes I’m slowly getting the feeling of my stomach rumbling. Seems like I am hungry anyway. But I really don’t feel like eating. I tried to ignore it but seems the rumbling even now sounds louder.

“Here.. take it” she said.

I lift my head up and our gaze met. Blue eyes. Like the ocean..

She lift the sandwich up and poked it towards me. She looked all embarrassed and looked like being forced to speak.

“But this is your lunch..” I planned to refuse.

“My mom always make extra.. And I can’t eat that much so just please take it.” She said in a low voice. Avoiding my eyes and turn her face to the window.

I reach out my hand and take the bread and felt our fingers touch.

For a moment I thought I heard bells. I saw her suddenly tensed and eyes wide as if electrified.

I can’t help but stare. She is starting to turn red. Her blue eyes won’t look at me. Her hair being blown by the wind is just picture perfect. She can be a model I thought. She sure is pretty.

“Thank you” I managed to speak after what seems to be a long pause.

She take back her hand and go back eating her own sandwich. I was facing her direction and she won’t look my way. I took a bite of the bread and it taste good.

“You like chicken sandwich?” I asked.

She looked at me for awhile and nodded. She continue eating.

I finished the chicken sandwich and felt I’m full. I noticed she doesn’t have any drinks so I stood up and offered to buy us from the vendo machine. I knew she would decline so before she can object I ran outside and then walk my way to the hallway.

I choose apple juice. I hope she like apple too. But suddenly one apple juice got stuck and won’t come out. Out of nowhere someone kick the vendo and my juice finally come out. I picked it up and I was surprised to see Wesley.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

I can’t find myself to respond. I don’t want to discuss anything with him. I turn around and thank him for his help. I walked back to the classroom. I’m already at the door when I felt his hand pull back my arm.

“Why won’t you listen to me?” he sound desperate. His voice is loud enough to get the attention of the remaining students in the room.

“I don’t want to talk, Wes” I replied. My voice low but firm. He probably see it in my eyes. I really don’t wanna talk to him.

He then let go of my arm. He sure didn’t notice he gripped with much force. Enough to leave me a bruise.

“You can’t keep running away from this, you know that” he said.

“I am aware” I replied and turn my back on him. I walk toward my desk and saw Hershey watching me.

“Here.. I hope you like apple” I gave her the drink and sat down on my chair. I didn’t look back at Wesley and I know he simply won’t give up. He then leave the room and I can feel eyes watching me. I don’t know if they feel sorry for me or for Wesley. I hear them talking about me. In their eyes we were the best couple and we’ve been together since middle school.

I sighed. What a mess. If only I could feel anything aside from disgust. If only I can cry. Maybe it won’t feel so heavy and gloomy. I press my head down my table facing the window. I closed my eyes. Maybe I need to sleep..

Hershey’s POV

I watched her sleep for the remaining time on our lunch. She is facing my direction and I can see her eyes close, hiding her hazel eyes. Her lips is red probably because of lipstick. She got good pair of eyebrows. Her dark hair shine against the light from the sun.

Maybe this is just like what I read on novels. That face she is making probably is the face of a broken hearted person. I wonder if it hurt that much. I probably won’t experience it since I don’t desire to be with anybody. Not even friends.

I made up my mind long time ago. As I watch my parents yell at each other. Watched how my father pack his things and leaving mom crying every night.

If I don’t fall in love. I won’t get myself hurt. That’s basic.

I can focus on my studies and become a lawyer someday. That is how I plan my future.

I looked back at her.. She isn’t crying..

I just realized that even how different she is today. Her face is all blank. She look empty. Not sad. She just doesn’t seem to feel anything.

But why…?

Stop! My inner self reminded me.

Yes. Stop. I need to stop. I do not need to pry. I don’t need to look on things that I know will get my interest. Specially people. I don’t need friends. So stop. Stop being curious.

I fight the urge I am feeling. I stood up and walk my way outside the room.

I head to the comfort room and wash my face.

I feel refreshed now. Feel lighter.. I look at my reflection just to be startled by another reflection behind me. I nearly died out of shock. She is looking at me with those blank eyes.. Her face looking pale and no emotion.

“Sorry I followed you here” she said. I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves from being startled.

“You startled me.. Do you need anything?” I replied.

“Do I bother you?” she asked.

“Why would you ask that?” I asked back as I wash my hands.

“I knew you were watching me all the while. I am not asleep. Out of nothing you stood up with a dark expression on your face” She said. She is speaking in monotone.

I wonder if that’s how she normally speak. Anyhow this is not good. I don’t need this kind of interaction.

“No you don’t. I’m going now” I walk pass by her and left the comfort room.

I tried to remain calm. It’s my fault. I approached her and now I am running away from it. I should have not asked her if she is okay. I clenched my fist. I always make mistakes like this.

Mika’s POV

I watch her back as she left the comfort room. I felt guilty somehow. Maybe my negative aura is bothering her personal space. People are not used to me being this quiet.

I sighed. But I can’t force myself to feel okay.

No.. I can’t force myself to feel anything.

Classes ended and I am now walking my way to the train station. Still feeling.. I don’t know.

I sighed again.

“Excuse me” someone just took the seat before I sit on it. This old lady gave me a daring stare as if asking if I will fight back to take the spot she just stole from me.

I looked down on her and decided to leave and choose a different place to stand.

I did find a place and I notice a familiar face. Blond hair.. Blue eyes. There she is reading a book in one corner as she stand. I walk towards her and stand by her side. She didn’t even notice me. She look so engrossed with whatever she is reading. I saw she make a different expression. Upper corner of her lips just twitched. She smirked and raised one eyebrow.

Adorable. I didn’t know she can make these kind of expression. She probably read something that trigger her to make that face.

“Oh stupid” she murmured. I look at her and she is still reading.

Now that got me curious. What is she reading? I get my face closer to her to take a peek of what she is reading. And right at the same moment the train pull at stop and she looked at me.

I thought I heard bells again. Then I hear the doors open. I found myself starring closely at the blue wide eyes. So close. She pushed me back and she covered her lips.

Then I realized.. Oh that’s why it felt soft. My eyes widened. My brain sure is not functioning at a normal speed today. I look at her flustered face. I see she is breathing hard. Embarrassed.

I blinked and she is nowhere to be found. I didn’t know she can run that fast. I watch the scenery outside the window and then I get to understand what just happened.

I kissed a girl. I sighed.

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