chapter 4

I always dressed nicely and was comfortable but grace was the other way around. She would dress tight and have 6 to 8-inch heels on her feet. I could even feel her pain while she is trying not to cry.

"Dumb" I only sighed as she parked the car in the little coffee parking lot.

"Beauty is pain carrot " she calls me carrot all the time because when in on my period I crave carrots.

The time we got into the coffee shop my boss scolded me once again as I was late but I know she can't fire me because I am the only person who does the job correctly. Gracie sat next to me as I served and took the orders of the customers. We talked about what if we had children and if we would love to. Honestly, for me, it would be a blessing however for Gracie would be hell. She can't even take care of herself how could she take care of a baby? She agreed with me.

"Angel angel " I hear someone screaming in excitement from table 4.

"Don't do no shit Gracie I swear this guy is dangerous, I can see it from a distance " I whispered in Gracie's ear. Gracie only nodded and went into the kitchen.

I made my way to table 4 and there was Adam, Lucas and the father. Honestly, I feel that there is more to this but I don't get what it is.

"Hey, Lil man" I smile at him. Surprisingly Lucas jumped out of his father's lap into my lap.

"I missed you mommy I missed you " those words felt so real but I knew that there might be his mother waiting for them to come back. Adam only chuckled at Lucas attitude towards me.

"I missed you too boy " I could feel all the strength that Lucas put in the hug. Maybe his mum is cold towards him? Who knows.

"Miss Patterson I am Theodore I am sorry for last time when we met " I hear a dark and shady voice.

"It's totally fine," I say with a smile, however, it wasn't fine because who the **** raised Theodore should be ashamed of how they raised this big guy. Doesn't even know how to respect people.

"I have a question?" He says as he leans back in his chair with his arms crossed.

"You already asked it, " I said I know what you might say but I don't give a shit about his question.

"Just joking go on," I said it was weird as no one ing.

"Me and Lucas we will go play in the car  " I hear Adam say as he picks up Lucas from my lap. Adam was gone it was only me and the (shortness of Theodore cuz, I'm too lazy )

"How did you...change my child?" He says. I always loved children and they loved me.

"What do you mean?"

"Well Lucas was never happy I sometimes tried to make him happy but it would never work " his eyes were glossy and it was trying to find an answer in my eyes or facial expression.

"Doesn't he have am-mom" I stuttered myself. He only answered with his head.

"He had one but she ran away and left Lucas in the hospital " there was no pain no guilt, not even anger in his voice or on himself.

He is heartless.

"I love children and babies. And I always try to agree with them and I remember that I was babysitting a child and I took him to places and he was happy and excited every time I came over. " I said my eyes didn't live his figure but not even his eyes left my eyes.

"I think Lucas need people around him and he needs more love " I sigh.

It was hurtful to see a dad trying his best for his kid.

My parents would always fight and fight but in the end, they would laugh together until one day...my father killed her and he couldn't believe what he did so he killed himself with a gun. I was treated like shit at my aunties house so I made my money and took the and moved away from everything. Everything was toxic and pathetic there.

The memories would live free in my brain. I even got myself an antidepressant because  I started feeling it was my fault.

A tear escapes my eye. And another one. 

"Are you okay I'm sorry " I hear theo say with a worried face?

"Everything is okay "

"Baby, carrot oh MIA MOR NO BABY gatino. Did you make her cry you 3-inch **** ?' I hear Gracie come as I see she had slippers on and she had some jeans on. Did she change?

" no, he didn't, " I say as I feel her boobs go in my face I was hugged by her.

"Get the **** out I can't give a shit but I  can see that you're not good enough for her from 50000 miles away!" She shouts as I hear her heart go fast so fast that it might jump out.

He gets up and goes. I started to cry.

" it's my fault bro it's was my fault " I started to sob out as I continued to shake.

"shhh, baby it's not your fault. What is in the past stays there " she says.

"Remember when I send some nudes to a guy? And the dickhead screenshot them do I cry?" I nodded my head as a 'no'.

It's always my fault it is. I feel pain. It's my fault I am still alive I should be the one who got killed. No one would even care I want so bad to end it but I can't.

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