Chapter 1

I woke up to the sound of my alarm at 5:30 in the morning. I didn’t get much sleep though because I was thinking about my first day at a new school. Especially since I found out I was gay only a year ago. I got out of bed, put on my favorite band T-Shirt and a pair of black ripped jeans. I went to the mirror in my room, put on some eyeliner, and messed with my hair a little. I stayed locked in my room until about 6:35 when my older brother Anthony started banging on my door yelling, ”You should already be at school dumbass it’s after 6:30!” he said angrily. He was drunk again. I hate it when he gets drunk. So I put on my black combat boots, headed, grabbed an apple, and my bookbag then left.

After a long walk, I finally got to school at 7:05 and went straight to the principal's office to get my schedule. My first class was Math, my WORST subject. I got to class and my teacher made me introduce myself. “ My name is Ronnie, I moved here from Arkansas, I'm 16 and live with my 19-year-old brother Anthony,” I said. But I couldn’t think straight, there was a really hot guy in the back of the class with crystal blue eyes. “ Ok well take that seat in the back.” the teacher said, as he pointed to the desk next to him. I took my seat and he introduced himself. “Hi, I'm Andy.” I didn’t know what to say, so I just said hi back. We then started working on a test. I was nervous of course. It was pretty confusing, but then I got the hang of it. After what felt like forever, the bell finally rang.

My next class was science. I walked in and saw Andy in the back of the class. My heart stopped for a minute. I sat down in front of him and laid my head down on the desk. I guess the teacher didn’t like kids “sleeping” in class and asked me to raise my head up. I heard Andy laugh from behind me\, “He can be a bit of an ***.” I laughed. School went on and I had all my classes with Andy. Like all schools\, there are always popular people. Andy is popular. He would never like me\, let alone be my friend. The thing that sucked the most was\, *sigh* He has a girlfriend. She was popular. While I was walking down the hallway\, heading to Geography\, I saw Andy with her\, he kissed and hugged her. Her name is Luna. She was really rude and self-centered.  I got to class and asked Andy about her. ”So was that your girlfriend?” I asked. “Yeah\,” he said with a sigh ”But I caught her cheating on me so I'm gonna break up with her.” “Oh\,” I said. But then he noticed the scars on my wrist and quickly changed the subject. I have forgotten my hoodie at home\, so I couldn’t cover them up. Andy asked me so many questions.”What made you want to do that” he asked with a worried look on his face\, “ My parents died a couple of years ago in a car crash\, life got hard without them\, at my old school people would always push me around and beat the living hell out of me\, I screamed and yelled\, begging them to stop\, they wouldn’t listen and no one else heard a sound.” I said trying not to cry. “I have some too.” he said as he lifted the sleeve on his jacket “ My dad was an alcoholic\, he would come home drunk and hit my mom and me\, I was a small child at the time\, then he overdosed when I was in 4th grade\, and then last year my mom got really sick\,”  he confessed\, looking down at the desk. I wanted to cry\, but I didn’t.

After school, I ran into him, literally, and he asked if I wanted to hang out for a while.  “Sure,” I said, “but I have to go home and make sure my brother is alright first” “What's wrong with your brother,” he asked looking confused. I shook my head and said, “Let’s not talk about that right now please.” I didn’t want to tell him that my brother was also an alcoholic, I don’t want to tell him anything about my brother. So we went to my place, a few minutes later I came out and locked the door. “Everything alright?” he asked. “Fine and dandy,” I said with a smile on my face. That was a lie, my brother was so drunk he couldn’t even stand up. He asked me who I was, I guess he couldn’t think straight, he never can, he is always drunk. Andy and I went to his place, he lived alone. “ I thought you had your mom,” I said out of confusion. When I said “mom” his face dropped and he looked like he wanted to cry “She died, not that long ago” he choked “she was diagnosed with astrocytomas cancer, I took care of her as much as I possibly could... but then one morning... she was just... dead,” he said with tears forming. “Oh, I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have asked.” I said, feeling bad for mentioning it. “It’s fine...” he said as he rubbed his eyes. After that, we started heading to the skate park. “Do you ride?” he asked I shook my head and told him the story about my older brother busting his head open when I was 5  “I've been scared to ride ever since then”

After a few weeks, Andy and I became best friends. He still doesn’t know I'm gay though, or that I like him. He had invited me to a party while we were studying but I didn’t want to go. ”I don’t do well with crowds.” I said with a frown on my face.” There won’t be a lot of people.” Andy said with great enthusiasm. ” Come on, it's gonna be fall break so you don’t have to worry about school” “ I don’t know,” I said. I’ve only been to one party and it didn’t end well, that was when I found out I was gay, I got really drunk and ended up in bed with another dude.”Think about it!” he said happily and went back to studying. I couldn’t study, I couldn’t concentrate or even think, because all I could think about was his beautiful blue eyes. We “studied” for a few hours then I went home. When I got home my brother was drunk and angry. ”Where the hell has you been!?” he shouted “With a friend,” I said “Don’t get smart with me dumbass!” he shouted as he threw a glass bottle at me so I lifted my arm to shield my face. I felt a sharp pain in my hand and looked down to see blood all over it so I ran upstairs, locked myself in my room, and started crying. I was scared. I grabbed my phone with one hand and texted Andy.

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Ronnie 😘 - hey could you come over I'm scared...

Andy  💕    - sure what's wrong?😕😦

Ronnie😘 - my brother is really drunk...

Ronnie😘 - he threw a bottle at me and it cut my hand...

Andy 💕     - ok hold on I’ll be there in 5 minutes

Ronnie😘 - ok sneak in through my bedroom window... I don't want him to see you and try and hurt you too...

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  After about five minutes I heard Andy knocking on my window so I let him in.”Hey, are you ok?” he asked, he sounded really worried“ No, I can't move my hand and it won't stop bleeding!” I said with tears running down my face as I held my hand to my chest. I was so scared, I was shaking.”It’s gonna be ok” he said as he reached for my other hand. “Where’s the first aid kit?” he asked, ”In the bathroom behind the mirror,” I replied. He left the room and came back a few seconds later with the first aid kit in his hand. He grabbed my hand, cleaned the cut, and put a bandage on it. “Your shirt is covered in blood. Here let me help you take it off and I'll wash it at my place,” he said as he reached for the bottom of my shirt. I nodded and lifted my arms up as he slowly eased it up over my head. “Where do you keep your shirts at?” he asked and I managed to say “top drawer” so he walked over to my dresser and got a plain black shirt out and helped me put it on. Then he looked me in the eyes, wrapped his arms around me and said, ”Everything's gonna be okay.” I couldn’t help myself from wrapping my arms around him and crying. We stayed like that for what felt like hours.

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