Chapter 4: Lucas Moore

Chapter 4

Lucas Moore

Cloud Hudges POV

Today is just another day of me

sitting on our bed doing nothing at all. It’s been a week since Damian and I

talked. That’s the longest conversation we had after the incident. I am glad,

really, that we have talked even if it isn’t a good one. Having that

conversation gave me the least bit of courage to start doing more effort to

make this relationship work all over again. Maybe, effort is what I am lacking

all along.

I decided to stand up and do the

chores I do every day. To clean the house as neatly as possible. I am confident

to go to his work today, 2 years had passed since I last saw his office not

that I am allowed to be there anyways. I am the one who did most of the

interior design of his office the year he started working there, I wonder how

it looks now. Years of hard work, grind, sleepless nights and planning was

exhausted by the two of us to make it all happen. Finally having a business Damian

always dreamed of was a huge milestone for us, but now it’s just his, and I am

a mere burden. After the tiring chores I took a longer shower than usual, if

scrubbing every corner of my body is possible. Then, I looked for a decent

shirt to wear. I picked a white satin blouse and paired it with a black slack,

it’s formal clothes I used when I was an office worker.

Sitting at the corner of our bed, I

started to get anxious about what type of dish should I make. Yes, I’m gonna

bring him lunch today because I miss doing that. Damian always forgets the

lunch I make him back when he’s not very busy with the company. So, I go there

almost every day and we ate lunch together. However, my real problem is I don’t

have any money. I managed to find a few bucks from my drawer but that is just

enough for my transportation on the way there. I’ll just have to walk back home

after that, I am strong after all.

After minutes of contemplating, I

stand up and make my way to our kitchen\, I’ll cook his favorite dish______. I

don’t know why but I am feeling way weaker today shakes head NO! I

shouldn’t be thinking this way. I will not risk staying indoors again doing

nothing. I don’t want to lose him too; it would be the death of me. Like I

said, he’s the only person left for me to care and cherish for the rest of my

pathetic life. So, I need to pull myself together. I didn’t want to be a

pushover, but if this is the only way sigh.

I made sure to perfect the dish. I’m

still anxious but there is no way I am stopping now, not after we finally had a

conversation. It’s so cold outside so I wore a jacket, a scarf and my rubber

shoes. I carefully put the lunch box inside the bag, making sure that the

contents were safe. As soon as I was outside of the apartment I took a deep

breath, I can feel that my hands are shaking and it feels like my heart will

jump out of my chest. I felt nauseous and a lump is forming in my throat.

Memories of the night, of me, alone, flashback through my head. My breathing

became unsteady. I am scared, but there is nothing scarier than losing Damian.

He’s the sole reason why after all those, I still cling to life so helplessly.

I can do it. I started walking to the station while giving myself a pat in the

back.

Since I only have a few bucks in my

pocket, I can’t afford to grab a taxi. His office is located at the city so

there’s definitely going to have a traffic. Not having any choice besides

taking the train I walked for about 10 minutes on the way to the train station,

all the while simultaneously readying myself of the huge crowd that will surely

be present. I arrived and my expectations are correct, I live in a busy city.

It’s 10:40, as shown on the clock at the center of the station. I need to

hurry. I line up along with the other people to buy a ticket. After I got mine,

I stood there waiting for my change, but the ticket man said that the ticket

price increased long ago. I felt embarrassed since the people behind me looked

irritated. I bowed my head to apologized and quickly walk towards where the

train doors will open. Inevitably, there are too many people waiting for the

train. I clutch the bag on my chest and hug it tightly. Protecting the lunch to

dear life. As soon as the train doors open, people in rush pushed one another

to get in as soon as possible and find a seat. I’m so unlucky, since I am not

really feeling well I almost trip but I didn’t fall because of the crowd

squishing one another. Also, I wasn’t able to find any seat. You will be

alright Cloud, it’s just a 15-minute ride to arrive there. I kept on consoling

myself in my head.

My legs are numb and the pushing of

the passengers doesn’t seem to stop. I feel my head spinning and my vision is

becoming blurry I also felt like puking but I am concentrating so that I won’t.

This might’ve been the most hellish ride I have to endure. Most of the

passengers are minding their own business, their eyes glued on their phone. The

only sound I could hear is the screeching of the train, the beeping of phones

and some gossips. The perfume of the one standing just beside me didn’t help

with my nausea at all. I was just looking at the moving scenery of the city

outside the window when all of a sudden, a body much bigger than mine brushed

slightly behind me. I didn’t dare to look back, nor brave enough to lift up my

head. My heart is beating so loudly as the guy dangerously close the gap

between us. His hands slowly touching my sides, I want to cry for help but I

couldn’t. Instead, my whole body started to tremble. There’s no way anyone will

notice what’s happening. No one is looking, he could molest me all he wants and

get away with it. Just like that night, when I struggled so hard and shouted

for my lovers help. Perhaps this is the life I will live forever.

His hands are now finding its way to

more exclusive parts of my body. As he was about to grope my butt, I shut my

eyes tight and hugged the bag even tighter. But his hands never landed to where

I am expecting it too. I slowly look at my side to see a man, slightly taller

than me gripping the hand of the man behind me. For the first time, I was able

to see the face of the man who tried to molest me. Unlike what I imagined in my

mind; the man looks so well mannered. He was wearing a suit and his hair was

well brushed to the side. He abruptly pulls his hand back from the guy who just

save me, fix his tie and moved away without even giving a glimpse at me.

“Hey, you okay there?” finally giving

my savior attention, I looked at him. He looks oddly familiar. “Are you okay,

miss?” He asked again, I just nodded but I still can’t shake this feeling that

he is someone I know. So, without realizing it I stared at him trying to

remember who he is. He laughed awkwardly while rubbing the back of his head. I

finally snapped out of it realizing that I just made him uncomfortable, stupid

me. But, that gesture when uncomfortable, I definitely knew someone that has

that kind of mannerism. “Cloud?” He finally blurted out. My eyes widen when he

confirmed my identity. “L-Lucas!” I exclaimed out of excitement, it’s him!

“Cloudyyy! I didn’t expect to see you

at such a place and in that situation, that fucking idiot, stay here I’ll punch

that shit.” I hold onto his arms knowing too well that he will actually do what

he had just said. “No need for that Lulu he didn’t harm me.” I plead. “He

wasn’t able to do so because I’m fucking here, god it’s been so long cloudy, I

haven’t heard from you since we graduated.” He looks at me with puppy eyes.

Lucas and I were practically so close ever since we were in middle school

almost inseparable. After we graduated, we parted ways and haven’t had any

contact since I am too focus on me and Damian. “I miss you Lu” I felt like

crying, all those happy young years we spent, I miss all of it. “I miss you

more Cloudy, where are you getting off to?” he asked. It’s only natural since

we met in such an unusual time and we are off to different place. “At the next

station, uhm I am going to bring this to Damian” I stated looking at the bag

I’ve been clutching for long now. “o-oh” He just said confuse, “W-well haha you

two still living together?” I nodded, it’s not like him to pry but I just brush

the uneasiness off. “He didn’t tell you I was working in his company as senior

engineer didn’t, he?” I smiled, almost as if a defense mechanism to the wave of

questioning I wish not to answer. So, he is working with Damian *sigh I am no

more than an outsider that leaves in his house now but I don’t want Lucas

knowing that. I don’t want him to pity the situation I am in. “Maybe he just

forgot, haha” I responded shifting my gaze to anywhere other than him. “I’ve

been working with him for almost a year now, w-well” he paused it looks like he

wants to say something to me. “Not that I mind yeah? Haha now you know that I

am working at your company Cloudy, let’s go together” That’s definitely not the

statement he wanted to say just now. Even though I know that, I also know that

I might not want to hear what he’s about to say. I’m grateful he didn’t say it.

The atmosphere became awkward after

that. Lucas tried hard to change the topic and tell me stories about his life

after we graduated, his endeavors and hard work, how he wanted to just quit and

give up because his life doesn’t seem to be getting better. He also

complimented the life that Damian and I are now living, if only he knew. “You

know what? When I was so desperate in life, I couldn’t secure any job, my bills

are piling up and everything is falling apart.” He paused and then looked me in

the eye “I saw you, at the television” I can vividly remember what he was

talking about it was when Damian’s name became the talk of the town after his

product launch became a huge success, I wasn’t even mention in any of the

articles but at one tv report I was standing just behind him. “I was barely

there” I laughed timidly. “Well, you’re kinda right ahahhaa but you won’t

believe it, there’s this sudden motivation and fire within me. I was like ‘The

**** am I doing while my best friend is supporting his man, I am here, single

and miserable I can’t stay like this I don’t want to die virgin” I look at him

with disbelief. What kind of motivational speech is that?! I can’t help but to

laugh at what he just said, he is hilarious. This is the first genuine laugh I

feel after 2 years of suffering. “That was like 4 or 5 years ago? Guess you

have a girlfriend now huh?” I said still half laughing. “You are a meanie

Cloudy, how can I find a cute girlfriend if I am too focus on my goals and

career?! I’m still gonna die ****** but at least I am no longer broke” I

laughed again. How I miss Lulu so bad.

We talk and catch up. Still hiding

the fact that I am unhappy with my life as it is now, I fabricated my stories

with how Damian is the best and caring towards me. I told fake stories that I

made in my head whenever I was alone, which is almost every day, lying to both

Lucas and myself. If

only we can write our destiny, but that is not the case. Looking at the

brighter side, Damian and I already climbed many mountains together, we broke

walls and open a lot of doors of opportunity. We didn’t have it easy before,

this is just another hurdle in our relationship, one I wish I will not face alone.

It

didn’t take long to arrive at our destination. With our constant exchange of

talks and laughter time seems to pass by too quickly. We take our time walking

in the busy street still keeping the good conversation going. Unexpectedly,

this moment makes me miss Damian more. In my mind, while listening to Lucas, I

wish it is me and Damian staring at each other. I brush off the thought when I

realize it. It is mean to Lucas to be spacing out while he is sharing a story.

“You

okay Cloudy? Still listening?” Again, he rubs the back of his head. I smiled

before answering “Yeah, where are we again?” A look of concern wash over his

face, I know for a fact that he is not completely oblivious of my mental state

ever since we met at the train, he just chose not to meddle in which I’m

grateful. “Nah never mind that we’re here common” I didn’t even realize that we

are already in front of the company building. It’s been so long that I actually

feel nervous. I followed Lucas with trembling hands, holding the pack lunch in

a tight grip. The employee in the information desk is still the same as before

however she didn’t recognize me. “Good morning! How can I help you today?” she

greeted with a smile. “Good morning beauty” Lucas playfully greeted. “There’s

no good morning for you Mr. Moore” she then gave him a disgusted smile “Do you

have business with Mr. Moore… Miss?” she ended her sentence like as if she is

asking for my name “Hudges, Uhm it’s me Cloud Hudges” Her eyes widen for a

second and then back to her compose self again. “Miss Cloud! It’s been so long,

I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you” now she has an apologetic smile plastered on

her face. “I-It’s alright”

“You’re

here for Mr. Clinton I supposed?” I nodded. “Do you have an appointment with

her Miss?” she asked, hesitation hinted in her voice. I was feeling a little

embarrass, I am once again reminded that I am no longer part of his personal

life. I didn’t know what else to say anymore. “She doesn’t need appointment to

see her fiancé doesn’t she Ally?” Lucas butt in, he can read the room, he’s

helping me. “Y-yes haha sorry Ms. Cloud please don’t be offended I’m just doing

my job; I’ll notify his secretary while you are on your way to his office.” She

then hastily grabs the telephone “A-are you sure it’s, ok?” If Damian is busy,

then I should just leave it to Mr. Miller. “Yes, Miss please proceed, I didn’t

even know why I asked that earlier” She reassured me, well- if it is really ok

then I will gladly take the opportunity to give this to Damian myself. I smiled

at her and started walking towards the elevator. “Miss” I stopped, internally

panic thinking that Damian told her over the phone that he doesn’t want to see

me. “I miss seeing you around, it’s good to see you her again” relief was my

initial reaction, then happiness. I thought everyone forgot about me.

We

proceeded to the elevator and selected our respected floors, Damian’s office

being at the top floor. My breathing is still uneasy and I could feel the sweat

in my palms and forehead even though it is cold inside the building. Lucas,

being the keen person that he is, he gave me a pat in the back “I got you” and

gave me a sad smile. He didn’t buy my lies at all, instead he just listened and

agreed to whatever I said. Did my expressions really give it all? Or did he already

know something? “I gotta go now Cloudy, we really need a cup of coffee the

soonest possible. You know where to find me!” He told me while getting off the

elevator half shouting. I smiled at the thought of having someone to talk my

problems to. I’m sorry Lucas, but I can’t, not to you or anyone. Only to

Damian, he’s the person who needs to hear me out. Time seems to slow down while

my heart beat just seems to be getting louder and louder, not with excitement

but with fear.

*ding

The

elevator finally opens up to where his office is located. Surprisingly, Mr.

Miller is waiting for me just beside the elevator. “Miss Cloud, it’s good to

see you here in the company again” he greeted me. I have a bad feeling of why

he was waiting for me but I didn’t let it show. “Mr. Miller” That’s the only

words that come out of my mouth. He guided me towards the office but he didn’t

let me enter the doors, instead he offered me to sit first on one of the

couches. He gave me smile then walk towards the door and knock informing Damian

that I am waiting outside. My heart grew heavier every minute he spends not

opening the doors. But I waited, just like how I waited in our lifeless home.

I

shot my head up as I heard the door creaks open. I smiled just like how I

practice in the mirror, every day. But I wasn’t greeted by Damian. Instead, a

woman came out of the room. She might be the most beautiful woman I have ever

seen. Her hair is dyed light brown, her skin is glowing, she doesn’t have a

heavy make up on but her beauty still shines through. Her style compliments her

body, and the way she stands look so elegant. She is the girl, who called my

lover ‘Kai’ the other day in the mall. The girl my lover smiled so genuinely.

Her eyes started to scan me from head to toe, and then she gave me a sweet

smile. After that she just walk past me and Mr. Miller. My whole body felt

numb, insecurity rising up inside me. “A-A business partner?” I asked looking

at Mr. Miller after making sure the lady is gone. He nodded timidly and averted

his gaze afterwards.

With

shaking hands, I decided to enter his office. I took a deep breath and

plastered the smile I perfected as I enter. “Damian, I brought your favorite

food”.

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