Episode 1

Dear Diary this is Angel

The world is so harsh with its expectations to be the best. No room for failure. There are five stages to life in my book your born, go to school, get a job, retire, and die. You read and hear about how hard it is for a student in going through middle and high school,but not the hardships of afterwards.

Now we're do I go from here. I can't go back to school because I'm so poor I got nats coming from my wallet. So the only other option is to go get a job. You would think the easiest part in getting a job is the resume. At least writing your name is not that complicated. Writing down your skill set is the hard part. Unless your a narcissist,most people find it hard to find good in themselves.  

And keeping a job is even harder. That where the expectations come in to place. And when you can't fulfil them. You think of yourself as a failure. You start to become the failure.And no one wants a failure. 

Going through OVR is a big bust. You set up an appointment fill out all the paperwork for what to wait a year to fill out more paperwork. OVR has limited amount of funding from the state. They have a certain month when they start the new year. Get this the new year was July and then they said it is November. Besides OVR seems to only give out 5,000 if you plan on going back to school. Then they referred me to Virago another company that helps find a job. I thought that was OVR job,but I guess not. 

On the other end Virago helps to see what local jobs are there that you normally wouldn't have thought of. I'll give them that. After being accepted for them to provide their survive, you go to their office and take a survey. This helps them understand your strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Off they go calling stores to see who would like or allow you to job shadow. So far I have been to two local owned flower shops. Today I went to Giant Eagle to stock shelves. Boring. I thought her job was to find a job that fits me. A job the I can't wait to go to work. A job that stimulates the mind. This lady doesn't know me, get me, to think is this want others think of me. Just a basic everyday stocker. I want more than just a regular minimum wage job that anyone can do. I want my dream job,but life just doesn't work like that.

At the end of the day I lay down in bed staring at the ceiling, Wondering is this it was I meant to be a good for nothing bum to my family and myself or do I settle for less a follower. I want to be a person that inspires,moves the hearts of millions, something that makes me happy and proud of my work. But that life won't be in my life time,at least as long as I stay the way I am.   

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