trace of past

I still remember that day when I returned home after that war that took away from us the most precious thing we had, which was our inner peace, our clear minds, our laughter in the middle of things, and other simple things that embody our souls.

War usually leaves nothing in the soul but pain, terror and fear, the terror of death and the smell of blood, the fear of loved ones from loss, lots and lots of screams, looks of pain, helplessness and disappointment, tears of blood and moments of silent farewell.

I still remember how my wife Anna's eyes were filled with tears, fear and terror, how she embraced me with a death embrace and a final farewell, and how her lips spoke words of encouragement accompanied by pain. I wanted so much at that time to tell her that I would be sure of my return and that she would be in my arms as usual, but her brown eyes would be filled with reassurance, and I would stroke her locks of hair that matched the beauty of chestnut until she fell asleep every night, but I couldn't!! I stood helplessly as I looked into the eyes of my beloved, which I knew were mesmerized my features for the last time.

I still remember that bloody war and the smell of blood, ash and gunpowder as if it were yesterday. These things cannot be erased by time, but you are forced to live with them so that they do not drag you to the bottom of their ocean and make you bait for their depths. They are like the raging sea with its violent waves. You do not know when it will be calm and when it will be raging. But I did it and survived, and all of this is because of my happiness, and the secret of my survival is my son, my heart and my eyes, Taehyung.

I still remember that moment when I held my son in my arms while he was crying from hunger and shivering from the cold. His lips were trembling and blue, while his white blanket was filled with the smell of ash and the smell of destruction. But what the war couldn't destroy were his eyes, which reminded me of my beauty's eyes. They had the color of coffee, but he had another magic in them that I didn't know at the time and didn't know until this moment. At that moment, I decided to take him with me and raise him as my son. I couldn't have children with Anna because of her illness, as pregnancy threatened the life of my beloved and my child at the time, but God decided to give us the most beautiful compensation for him in this life, which is our son Taehyung.

Mom, you are the greatest, most wonderful and most beautiful mother 😍 How much I love you mom...

You naughty one, do you love me or do you love the strawberry cake I make for you? Haaa, you swindler...

Mom, what are you saying? You know that I love you with or without the cake, but with the cake, I love you more😍..

I know, I know, you swindler, and that's why I make it for you every day so that you love me more than your dear father, but i know that he is your favorite father of your parents always, no matter what I do. 😓

Mom, don't say that, I love you both together, you are the two dearest people to my heart, no one is like you to me...🥹

I was listening to their conversation from the kitchen door and I was smiling widely, this is their usual conversation, my baby is jealous that our son shares all his secrets with me and loves to do what pleases me always, and she thinks that he loves me more than her, but who can tell her that he sees no one but her in the world and I am the one who is jealous of her... Nevertheless, I have to intervene and please my baby , so that her frowning does not make him feel bad, and I also have to support my son in his words so that he does not get upset as well.

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