A little bit bout my depressed ass and why my art is shit

Hey so I’m still developing my drawing style cause I’ve never really liked my drawings so for a while I just stopped and I now need to re develop my artstyle so my comics won’t be anywhere near as good as anyone else’s please forgive me for not meeting up to any expectations on this app I hope you enjoy when the actual first episode comes out please no hate this is my first time writing any type of story that isn’t non fiction and for school and I have so many ideas for fiction story’s but I can’t leave them in my head for to long because they just disappear ok so here’s the thing I have aphantasia I know it sounds made up but please listen aphantasia is a mental disorder where you can’t imagine anything so here’s an example close your eyes an imagin an apple most people would be able to complete that simple task right well I can’t I can’t keep an idea in my head an I can’t have a mental image I also don’t dream I don’t know the cause of that though I’ve never heard of aphantasia stopping you from dreaming but I just fall asleep and wake up so I offten lie to my friends and say “oh I had such a crazy dream” then they ask me to describe it.....i can’t I think that’s where they call my bluff I may not dream but I can have nightmares I don’t know what is wrong with me an I don’t know the cause of this but i can have nightmares and I can lucid dream except when I lucid dream there’s nothing there just me alone in my dark room with the tv on and playing but when I wake up there’s scratches and scars on my arms and shoulders I’m planning on asking a doctor what’s wrong with me I just need to schedule an appointment or ask my doctor next time I go in for a normal appointment Even with all the evidence of me having aphantasia though I still doubt that I have this mental disorder because the thing is I already have so much wrong with me already I have a.d.a.d,I have depression,I’m claustrophobic,I’m ugly,I’m allergic to a lot of things,I have coulrophobia (irrational fear of clowns) I twitch a lot thats why my favorite creepy pasta has to be ticci Toby because even tho he said to twitch A LOT And I only twitch occasionally I still find him relatable I also think I have multiple personalitys but I haven’t gotten it tested ect. So as you can see I’m pretty fucked up already so I can’t see myself being any more fucked up than I already am anyway this got depressing fast I hope you enjoy the story and I thank you for joining me on the journey of “little miss mafia”

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