01/ HIM

August 5, 2020

Klev's POV

"Klev, anak? Kaya mo na bang pumasok ulit sa trabaho mo? Ayos ka na ba talaga?" Mom asked me worriedly as I said to her that I'll be going back to work. Alam ko naman na she has the right para mag-alala. Anak mo ba naman ang ma-haze at halos patayin na. Sinong ina ang hindi mag-aalala sa anak nila?

I looked at her and gave her a genuine smile.

"Yes, Maa. Tayo nalang ang magkasama ngayon and it's my duty to take care of you. I can take care of myself. It's time for me to get back to work. Ayaw ko namang nakaupo lang dito at walang ginagawa. " I explained to her. Ayaw na ayaw kong nakatunganga lang habang nakikita ko si mama na nahihirapan kakatrabaho. Alam ko na pati sa sarili ko na kaya ko na.

"Take care of yourself? Last time you take care of yourself muntik ka nang mamatay. What if it happens again? What if balikan ka nung hazer na yun? I don't want to loose another son, anak. Mas okay pa'ng makita kang nandito at humihinga kesa makita kang nagtratrabaho pero ang kapalit naman ay buhay mo. Please understand me." She said in a high pitch but she became calmer on the latter part. She's being anxious again. Bakit hindi niya maintindihan na gusto kong tumulong sa kaniya?

I held her hand and looked her straight in the eyes. Kailangan ko sa kaniyang ipaintindi na mag-iingat na ako at wala na sa aking mangyayaring masama.

"Don't worry Maa. I'll be fine. Hindi na nila yun gagawin kasi nakaganti na sila. If, ever na gawin man ulit nila yun, alam ko na ang gagawin ko. Hindi ko hahayaang may mangyari ulit sa aking masama. I promise maa." I explained to her and I hope it enlightened her mind. As I'm looking at her expressions, I saw her face softened.

"Ok. Ok. Just please be safe anak. Do it for me. Hindi ko kakayaning may mawala pa sakin ulit. Ikaw nalang ang meron ako, anak." Her voice saddened and also her face. It was really a nightmare to us. Sunod-sunod ang naging trahedya sa buhay namin. And her, as a mother of the house, I know it pains her the most.

I hugged her then she hugged me back. After that we continued on eating our breakfast. Suddenly, I remember na malapit na pala ulit ang pasukan and I will be retaking first year college. I'm 19 and I should be in second year but unfortunately, a lot of problems showed up.

Actually, natatakot ako. Natatakot ako sa kung ano ang mangyari sakin pag nagpasok ako ulit sa university ko dati. No one knows what lies ahead on the future. Pero, di ko hahayaang matakot nalang ako habang buhay lalo na at walang wala kami ngayon ni mama.

Gusto ko man lumipat ng bagong university but I can't. I don't have enough money to support my needs. Besides, my old university already offered me a scholarship. It's a fight or flight situation. And I have to fight. Laban lang lagi. Malay natin, someday, matapos din ang lahat ng ito.

Pagkatapos naming kumain ni mama ay inayos ko na din ang mga pinagkainan namin then after that, I decided to take a bath.

Umalis na din si mama para magduty ngayong araw bilang katulong sa isa naming kapitbahay. Wala na ang business namin because of dad's debt at heto naghihirap kami ngayon.

I look in the mirror as I stare at my ***** body. Makikita pa din dito ang mga peklat at bakas ng mga sugat ng nakaraan. I decided to wear my old polo and pants then I put on my denim jacket. Ayaw ko ng tingnan pa ang mga peklat na natamo ko dahil pinapaalala lang nito ang mga masamang nangyari sa akin.

I stare at myself and I must say, my outfit suits me.

They say that I'm a complete package because of my physical appearance. Sabi din ng iba na ang pinaka asset ko is my facial features as it's showing purity and innocence. Ano bang iba sa mukha ko? I stare at my face at ngayon ko lang napagtanto na meron pala akong maamong mukha. I have a pair of downturned brown eyes, small and pointy nose, pinkish lips, not so thick eyebrows, and a fair skin. It was completely fits my body. I'm not tall nor short and I have an ectomorph body type. Kaya pala maraming babae at lalaki ang nagkakainteres sa akin.

I snapped when someone knocked at the door. Umalis na ako sa harap ng salamin upang tingnan kung sino ang kumakatok sa baba.

"Klev! *knock* *knock* *knock* Klev!!" Paulit-ulit nitong katok sa pinto.

"Sino yan? Heto na. Sandali lang." Dali-dali akong bumaba sa hagdan para pagbuksan kung sino man yung kumakatok sa pintuan.

As I open the door, I got shoked when I saw it was Shin. He looks exhausted and sweaty yet he can manage to look himself good.

Shin is my very close friend back then. I met him when I entered first year college, year ago. We got along very well because we have the same vibes. Lapitin din ito ng mga babae dahil sa angking tikas nito. He's tall, tan, have a protruding black eyes, and a mesomorph body type. In short, he's a man that every girls dreaming of.

"Oh? Ikaw pala yan. Pumasok ka na. Umupo ka nalang dyan. Feel at home." I said and he entered in.

I walked to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. After getting some water I get back at the living room and gave it to him. He's sitting in the couch while his eyes are wondering inside. He then drinks his water fast. Bakit uhaw na uhaw ito?

I look at him and he looks so tired. I fake cough to get his attention. He looks at me then he gave me a smile.

"Bakit parang pagod na pagod ka? Anong nangyari sa'yo?" I asked him but instead of answering my question he rather turn his stares away. Maybe he's finding an answer somewhere. Ilang sandali pa ay tumingin din ito sa akin.

"Ahh ano kasi. I run fast and drive my car as fast as I could to see you. You know, its been a long time since we're together." He turns his stares down and his ears were red. Bakit hindi ito mapakali sa pwesto nito? Hindi ko nalang ito pinansin pa.

"Ahh. So excited kang makita ako? Naks naman. You're too sweet. Mas matamis ka pa sa asukal namin." I made a joke at him. Now, his face turned red. He's even shyer than before. I think he's not comfortable with the topic so I decided to change it.

"Anong ginagawa mo pala dito? Hindi ka ba kailangan ng dad mo para tulungan sya sa comapany nyo?" Tanong ko dito at tumingin naman ito sa akin. Hindi tulad kanina ay mas maayos na ang kulay ng mukha nito. Usually, every weekdays, pinapatulong sya ng dad nya sa kompanya nila para mapagaralan nito kung pano ito patakbuhin. Their business is producing medical equipments.

Nakatulala lang ito habang nakatingin sa mukha ko. He stares at me like he's being enchant. What's wrong with him? Kanina pa ito balisa at wala sa sarili. Tinawag ko ito ng ilang ulit. Ginagalaw galaw ko na ang kamay ko sa mukha nito pero hindi pa rin ito kumikibo.

"Shin? Shin! Yuhoo. Shinn! SHINNNN!" Hinampas ko na ang braso nito para bumalik ito sa huwisyo. Nagulat naman ito sa ginawa ko at hindi nanaman ito makatingin sa akin ng deretso.

"Ahhh ano yun? Sorry may naisip lang ako." He scratched his nape and turn his gaze down. May sakit ba ito kaya wala ito sa sarili niya? Hindi ko nalang ulit ito pinansin pa at baka pagod lang ito.

"Ayos lang. So, ano nga ang ginagawa mo dito? Diba dapat nandun ka sa kompanya nyo?" I asked him for the second time around. He looked at me straight at umayos ito ng pagkakaupo.

"Ahh that? Well nagsabi ako kay dad na kung pwede bukas nalang ako papasok sa kompanya dahil mapunta akong school para magasikaso ng mga requirements for enrollment. Naisip kita kaya I decided na daanan ka dito para sabay na tayo mag enroll. Though magkaiba nga lang tayo ng year na pag e-enrollan." He seemed to be upset when he said the last part knowing that I will be repeating first year. Dati kasi ay kami ang magkasama lagi pero ngayon, magiging madalang na ang pagsasama namin dahil marami na silang gagawin.

Listening to him made me realize that I forgot the enrollment. Kanina ay nasa isip ko palang ito. Your being absentminded again Klev. May trabaho pati ako ngayon. What should I do? Dahan-dahan naman akong tumingin dito at nakatingin ito sa akin.

" I forgot about it. Papasok sana ako sa trabaho ngayon. Amm Shin? Pwede mo ba muna akong samahan sa trabaho ko para magpaalam kay boss?" I shyly ask him. Ohh, Klev. Have shame on your self. Isasabay ka na nga niya papuntang university tapos mapasama kapa dito sa trabaho mo. I shook my head out of incredulity.

"Kaya pala nakabihis ka. Sure! It'll be my pleasure." Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng pumayag ito. Pero nakakahiya pa din. Kung titingnan mo naman ang istura ni Shin ay mukhang okay lang naman dito na samahan ako. Buti nalang nandito siya. Makakatipid ako sa pamasahe.

Tumayo na kami para umalis. Shin went out and I secure our house first before I leave. When everything's fine and steady, I went to shin's car and hop in. I compose myself first before Shin starts the engine. I remind him about my trauma. I developed another trauma matapos ang aksidente namin nila dad. Pag mabilis ang patakbo ng sasakyan ay nagpapanic ako and it results in difficulty of breathing.

He faced me- giving me a compassionate stare and it telling me to trust him. Somehow it made me calmed and loosen up knowing that he understands me. He started the engine and then we went off.

While driving, we're having a little chitchats about our life. Matagal-tagal na din kaming di nagkikita ni Shin kaya wala na kaming update sa isa't-isa. After being hospitalized, I never saw him. He said that he was sent abroad after accomplishing first year in college. He also knew what happened to me and he said that he prayed for me even though he's not with me.

"Alam mo ba when I heared that you're awake, I shout on top of my lungs and thank god that you're finally fine." Tumingin ito sa dereksyon ko at tumingin ulit ito sa kalsada. I can sense that he's really happy.

I look at him with amazement. Ngayon ko nalang ulit siyang nakitang tumatawa. He's really handsome lalo na pag ngumingiti ito at nalabas ang bente kwatro nitong ngipin. Then I look down at his lips. Those lips that I've been dreaming to taste.

I snap on the thought that popped up on my mind.What are you thinking Klev? He doesn't like you, remember? Stop it. My mind uttered and I decided to turn my stares out of him.

While we're talking, someone's car take over on us. Kaninong sasakyan yun? He's chasing the traffic light before it turns red but he didn't make it. I look at Shin and his face were crumpled.

"Sino yung nakasakay sa kotse na yun? Alam ba nya yung ginawa nya?! Nag-overtake siya sa right side natin! Pano kung nabangga niya tayo?!" He started to burst out in anger and I know he's going out to yell and fight with that car owner. He turned off the car's engine and then he went out. I knew it.

"Dyan ka lang. Wag ka dyan aalis. Kakausapin ko lang yung gagong yun." Mahinahon nitong sabi sakin and I just nod on what he said then he ran off.

Alam kong wala akong magagawa pag inatake ng init ng ulo si Shin. Alam ko din na kaya nya ang sarili nya at babalik din yun dito pag nasabi na nya ang gusto niyang sabihin dun sa owner nung sasakyan na nag overtake kanina. Ganiyan na siya dati pa. He can't control his anger hanggang sa mailabas niya ito.

Several minutes passed pero wala pa din si Shin. Malelate na kami at pupunta pa kami sa pinagtratrabahunan ko para magpaalam. Why is he taking so long? In the end, I decided to follow him outside.

When I went out, I saw him and he still arguing with that tall man over there but I can say that they aren't fighting. Sino yung lalaking yun? I can't see the man's face because he's facing his back at me.

Pupuntahan ko na sana ito dahil malelate na talaga kami at kelangan na namin umalis pero umalis na din yung lalaki at bumalik sa sasakyan nito. When he was about to enter his car, I saw something in his wrist. A bracelet. Nangunot ang nuo ko at pinakatitigan ko yung suot-suot niyang bracelet kahit malayo ito.

I saw it before and I remember that I made it when I was a child and I gave it to someone special but I don't know his face and I don't know who he is. When I was a child I got hit by a car and because of that I developed an amnesia and loose some of my memories.

And also, I remember that I saw it in my rapists wrist, he wears the same thing. I felt the urge para lapitan yung lalaki pero umalis na din ito. Even though I didn't see their faces because they're wearing a mask, but I remember that bracelet. Nakuyom ko ang mga kamao ko ng maalala ko siya at ang gang nito.

Is he the person who assaults and castigates me? And also, Is it possible that he's the same person behind my memories?

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