Distorted Feelings

Jungkook looked at him with a frown. "Who's he Y/N?". It seemed like it bothered him. Seeing me with someone new as soon as he found someone else or... Was he also jealous? Before I could answer, Taehyung did that for me. "I am Taehyung. Must say, not so nice to meet you?" That was... Awkward asf. It felt like I was stuck in a storm by both sides. All I wanted right now was just to escape from here. But facing things rather than running from them, is preferable.

Again before I could help break the awkward silence Kelly did that for me. "Jungkook why are you even bothering with them? let's go already. It's our date after all..." in her annoying honey dripping voice. I wonder why Jungkook doesn't find it weird. I finally spoke. "Kook, Can you please talk to me in private?" Jungkook looked towards Kelly. She rolled her eyes. A Bitch.

"Yes sure. We will talk later. I will reach out. For now I will have to go." Apologetic gaze. Tsk. I nodded and left. Again that Taehyung was following me like a lost puppy. After walking some distance, I finally turned around and stood facing him with straight expressions. He halted and smiled awkwardly.

"What's up with you?" I asked. He scratched his head and said "I just want to be friends with you, is that too much to ask?" I folded my arms and looked straight in his eyes. "Why on the earth is it only me? There are plenty other girls out there... Why not them?" He looked at me with somewhat soft expressions. Or was I just imagining? "You are different. And I see it."

That sentence shouldn't hit me the way it did. Shit. Am I in trouble again?

I reached home and lied in bed and thought about everything that happened today. The day was of normal hours, but why did it seem so long? It was supposed to be one of the ordinary days but why did it have something new in it? Something that made me think of that guy again. Jungkook... Ugh! Why everything reminded me of him. When Taehyung said that he wanted to be friends with me. Flashback ran through my mind. Where I saved Jungkook once from falling down the tree. He then proposed to be my friend because he found me tough and different from others.

I sighed. "Different... What's so different about me? That people want to be friends with me... Just Friends." A tear escaped my eye as I closed it and hugged the pillow beside me. Why is it so hard to be friends. A Goddamned friend. Keeping friendships when personal feelings are so strong is even harder. I wish I were a bad friend. But I guess I already am. A bad friend. Hoping that the happiness my friend just found, falls out. Does that make me bad? Because I know that happiness is just a facade. Or maybe I just want to believe that? And play victim?

These goddamned thoughts will be the death of me one day for sure.

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