“The Delusions Of Night”

Jungkook stared at his parents house, his grip tight on the steering wheel and exhaustion screamed through his beautiful brown doe eyes. If he knows his family even for slightest, the 46-year-old artist was sure that none of them were sleeping. Knowing his mother, she would be awake, sitting on her same old rocking chair and reading some boring novel. And his father, well step-father to be precisely, will be lunging to the bar counter, making one of his usual whiskey to spend the night. And if by any chance, jungkook could already predict his step brother who was elder by just one year from him, was most likely spending the night since he only visited them during events like birthdays, memorials or any sort of shocking, sad and happy celebrations.

Jungkook sighed, he was having a severe headache, give him a little credit for surviving the night. Let’s not forget, he almost died tonight if his manager, hadnt got the cops on time for him. Jungkook did not want to know what the drunk young and angry fella was capable of tonight, in his hate-driven drunk state.

Thinking of about that man, the young man in his mid-20s, somehow jungkook ended up feeling uneasy and gloomy. He felt sad, guilt was there too in his heart, but jungkook wishes nothing more right now, than to never meet the man again. The man’s angry face will only remind jungkook of the worst he has done on him, unknowingly. Because, jungkook was sure he would never hurt anyone to such grave extent, and yet here he was burdened by the disaster of his past, and it bothered jungkook more than he would like to admit himself.

Sighing yet again, jungkook’s eyes glanced at his phone, realisation once again hitting him about the fact that he missed his son’s birthday, made his boy angry, got attacked, spent uneventful hours in a police station, and now he was going to face the wrath of his family. He is sure, his entire family would have called him tonight. He is even expecting a disappointing text from his step-father and his elder son, a “good job on missing out the boring family event” text from his step-bother because that’s just how the elder was. Jungkook even knows, his ex-wife would have bombarded his phone with angry texts, because it was him who was supposed to save her from all the questions of his family tonight, but he obviously failed at the task. Jungkook even knows his mother would have sent him a worried text, asking him if he was okay.

The 46-year-old despite being so mature and old, still chewed on his lips like a young nervous teenager. No he wasn’t scared of his family, at least not anymore, but jungkook was hella tired and all he wanted was to rush to his bedroom, have a cold shower and sleep whatever the remaining of the night was left. Because jungkook was an early bloomer, and he had his work lined-up for him for the day that was yet to arrive .

So, finally, taking a deep breath, jungkook glanced at the time on his Rolex watch which read as “2:05 am”, jungkook decided to face his family and just escape to his room. So he got down of his car, and made his way towards the big mansion like house, which was still nothing compared to his own house that was bigger and more sophisticated. Jungkook was the most rich in his family, after all his famous-like personality, helped him earn more than anyone in his family, not even his step-father who was a very well known figure in the society.

Just as jungkook reached the front lawn of his parents house, he stopped abruptly when he found his ex-wife so-hee with a glass of red wine and standing near the tree, staring at the sky. He made his way towards her, and she noticed his presence immediately. Her dazed eyes were long gone, and she frowned at jungkook, before sending him a piercing and disapproving gaze, and jungkook wanted to chuckle at that because he knows exactly why his ex-wife would behave like that.

“You left me alone, I had to suffer tonight,” so-hee spoke with a grunt in her voice, and she was pouting by then.

“I am sorry, something came up, it was a long night seriously,” jungkook spoke mindlessly, because he had no strength to get into details of tonight. He found his ex-wife displeased with his answer and she shook her head right to left, before tsking in annoyance.

“That’s not a good enough of an explanation. I have had a tiring day because of you. First your both sons were disappointed on you for bailing on dae’s birthday, and then your parents literally choked me with questions of why aren’t you at the party like what the heck, am I still suppose to keep a track of your whereabouts when we’re divorced clearly and legally. And then there is your step brother, jungkook warn him, because he keeps taunting me,” so-hee breathed out as if she held back quite a lot of breath. Her beautiful chocolatey brown eyes never leaving jungkook’s.

“What did hosoek say,” jungkook asked sincerely. His step-brother hosoek could be handful, and mind you, he was very blunt with his words. Hosoek wouldn’t ever care if his word could literally give someone an heartache. The man was 47-years-old, but yet held his personality of being the meanest and care-free in the family.

“He said that I was dying to marry you, and it was only fair I suffered this much, which as per him, is compared to nothing the suffering you went through. Like what the heck, our marriage broke up, because of you.. you’re the one who wanted out in the first place,” so-hee didn’t mean to blame jungkook, but she was deeply affected by hosoek’s word who left no chance to give her a hard time, everytime she was left with that old man in the same room.

Jungkook nodded in understanding, he wasn’t even hurt by so-hee’s words. Even though their marriage broke up on mutual agreement, jungkook knows so-hee wouldn’t have dared to take such decision, if he wasn’t the one influencing it. “I’ll talk to hosoek, sorry for that,” jungkook added and just decided to go into the house, and face others.

So-hee felt dejected because clearly she wasn’t done, but she can sense jungkook was genuinely tired. She was married to the man for more than 15 years, clearly, she understood a lot about jungkook’s habit. So she left her rant and decided to follow the man for whom everyone was waiting inside.

The moment jungkook stepped inside the living room of his parents house, he found his folks just like he had imagined them to be. His mother, engrossed in reading on her rocking chair, and his step-father was probably making his nth drink for the night. The parents stopped whatever they were doing when their attention landed on him:

“Jungkookie”, his 74year-old mother spoke with concern in her voice which was genuine. She is a hard shell when it comes to emotions but when she expresses her true emotions, it’s genuine and sincere. But jungkook cringed at the sweet old nickname his mother liked to call him with. Clearly, he wasn’t jungkookie anymore, he was an adult for crying out loud.

But before he could response to her, his step brother who was lazing on the couch with a glass of champagne, spoke and bursted the tense silence in the living room.

“Jungkook, you old dawg, if you wanted to escape the party, you could have at least given me an heads-up. I would have joined you, rather than being suffocated into this suit. Ugh, I am glad you missed the party, but it was also fun, watching father loose his shit at your absence and make excuses to his elite business partners,” hosoek spoke without any filter and he laughed at his own words, reminiscing the party that was eventful because of his old father who tried so hard to maintain the powerful man aura but he couldn’t bless his business partners with the pride and honour of South Korea - Jeon Jungkook!

“Jungkook, where were you?” His step father seong-nim growled almost, from the corner of the counter. Jungkook grumbled evidently!

And yet again, hoseok didn’t let him answer anything to his parents. The elder step brother spoke again.

“What, is he 12 years old? Common, ask him a proper question. Because jungkook is adult enough to be wherever he wants, and do whatever he wants. Why don’t you ask him, how was his day?,” hosoek spat casually.

Seong-nim glared at his elder son. They were actually blood related, but no one could fathom over the amount of indifferences they both shared. That’s probably because hosoek never supported his father’s decision of marrying another woman, a year after his own mother died out of sickness. He had hoped it was just going to be the two of them against the world, clearly that didn’t happen. He was soon shifting to another house, and having a 13-year-old step brother.

Hosoek and jungkook didn’t have a good start to brotherhood, growing up they were more reserved and awkward around each other. But, once they realised they both suffered from the same man, they both were forced to call as father, they put past their indifferences and actually turned out to be good friends, apart from being step-brothers. Their parents were twisted. And their step-father was the worst one out there, that’s probably because this old man prioritised his status, power and money over his family, and he kind of forced jungkook to loose his childhood and only be the star that he is today. Hosoek was left in the corner to grow up on his own, and jungkook was trapped between his mother who was so lost after her first husband’s death that she missed out on the well-being of his actual son, and well the stepfather she got him wasn’t a father figure instead a man that made him into a working machine.

“Hoseok!” The father of the house, growled at his older son, so pissed and angry that he wanted to actually just smack the smirk off hoseok’s face.

“Yes father!” Hoseok glared back, his smirk widening and challenging.

Seong-nim knew better to mess with his sons. They aren’t kids anymore, who would be quieten at his one slap or angry glare. The two sons are bulky and their own personalities, and neither of them feared him any more. Jungkook was even bulkier and robust than his elder son whose words were enough to cut like knives. Meanwhile, jungkook was much skinny and petite, hiding under his long brunette hair that fell on his face when he was a teenager. But that changed after the artist got married, jungkook turned his life both health-wise and status wise completely. Seong-nim could only hold onto to the loose thread of being named as their father, it was nothing more and nothing less.

So the father closed his eyes and calmed his rage. By that time, jungkook had greeted his mother with a kiss on her cheek, and completely ignored seong-nim. He hugged hoseok instead and than dashed on the couch opposite, beside his ex-wife who was simply watching the drama. She isn’t new to this house.

“Uhm, why couldn’t you come tonight, it was your elder son’s birthday. He was so upset. He didn’t even stay for the dinner party, went out with his friends,” seong-min calmly spoke as he swirled his whiskey.

Upon hearing that, jungkook shot a glare at so-hee who smiled awkwardly. “You let him go to a club?,” that was the first question, jungkook wanted to know.

“Well, I had to give him something. He was upset by your absence. What can I do? Ruin my baby’s birthday. He turned 17, common!” So-hee defended herself, but she knows jungkook is absolutely against his children exploring the intoxicating lifestyle at their teenage years.

“It’s not her fault.. she is just a mother, wanting to fulfill her son’s wish. She has to take care of them, most of the time all alone. Clearly, you both are bound to make mistakes,” jungkook heard his mother Yumi speak with a warm smile, but it was a taunt for both him and so-hee.. The ex-married couple knew that!

Ignoring his mother, jungkook decided to just take the much-needed rest, he was hoping for.

“I am going to rest, it has been a long day for me,” jungkook looked at everyone, while unbuttoning his top two shirt buttons.

Seong-min was getting irritated by the ignorance, which has been the case for many years now. “I asked you something,” he spat with gritted teeth.

Jungkook grabbed his coat, and wallet, as he spoke, “I was at police station. There was a robbery in my gallery. And I was attacked. Don’t worry, the intruder was caught, and everything is settled. So I apologise for missing the party, I truly regret it, and I will make it up to my son.”

That was enough to have everyone shocked, so-hee squealed with pure fear and worry. Hosoek was worried too. Yumi rushed to jungkook and hugged him. “Oh my god, you okay jungkookie,” she asked. The artist only nodded and let her kiss his cheeks once more, before getting out of her grip and walking towards the marble staircase.

“How could this happen. I am going to talk to the district police here. Don’t worry, that mother fcker intruder will regret ever robbing you. I am going to make sure, he rots in hell forever,” seong-min spat angrily. He was so ready to get all his connections out to have that intruder behind bars for his life, only if he knew what his own son has done than he would be disappointed.

“I said, I have taken care of the matter. I don’t want any more discussions on it. No one in this family is going to interfere in this situation,” jungkook finally looked into his father’s eyes, his tone held a judgement, a final verdict.

Seong-min’s fist clenched. He spoke angrily, “you’re too soft, no wonder anyone can rob you.”

“Geez, common father, don’t make me laugh. You’re too powerful, and angry-old man, no wonder you always need jungkook to save your company,” hosoek licked his lips as he spoke darkly. And that was enough for seong-min to gulp his drink down, and slam the empty glass on the bar counter. The oldest father angrily left for his room.

Jungkook didn’t bother to answer anything, he simply made his way upstairs. “I will make you some tea, do you want to eat something, are you hungry?” so-hee asked jungkook hurriedly.

The artist smiled, and spoke to his ex-wife, “tea is fine. I am not hungry.” and that was so-hee’s cue to rush to the kitchen.

Hosoek who was calmly finishing his drink, ignoring everyone, felt his step-mother sit beside him. “I am sorry about your father, he..I,” Yumi tried to put in good words but she was lost. With years, she did realised seong-min was a loyal and good husband but a worst father.

She heard hosoek chuckle. “Oh Yumi, don’t worry, I know my father,” hosoek spoke cheekily, but it was yet another bitter reality.

“Please stay the night, we can have breakfast together in the morning, what do you think?,” Yumi tried. She took many years to realise she had another son, elder than jungkook, and when she did, she had been trying to make amends. But it was already too late, hosoek was far too grown to mind her absence. Clearly, she isn’t aware yet that she wasn’t really great with her own son, hoseok pitied jungkook for that.

“Naah, one night is enough for family drama. I am too old to loose my precious grey hair. Yumi, there isn’t a great family to spent time with, I am sorry, but I am really not sorry,” hosoek spoke with a look of heartfelt, but Yumi is used to his mocking tactics. She still smiled and kissed his forehead which hosoek let her do.

“When will Mila and Danny be coming to Korea. I miss them,” she asked as she stood up.

Mila and Danny were hoseok’s 14 year old daughter and 19 year old son. Hoseok had his elder son quite early with a woman whom he loved deeply. They were high school sweethearts, and she got pregnant four years after their graduations. So hosoek didn’t wait and married her, he loved her so much. They were together for more than 8 years before, it was only fair they got married and welcomed their unplanned son. Things were good, life was beautiful for hosoek and his family which was just him, his wife and his handsome son Danny. But hosoek learned the hard reality of love, that not all love story are meant to be honest and pure, some love story have dark and ugly sides too.

Like how his wife, the love of his life, cheated on him with another man few years after they shifted to the United States. His boy Danny was just four years old, when he found out that his wife was pregnant with another man. Irony of all, she left the little girl right after giving birth. Hosoek was left with a baby girl who wasn’t his, and divorce papers. She did come back to take the custody of Mila, but by then, hosoek had grew attached to her. Mila was ten when she found the truth about her mother and her real father who didn’t want her when she was born. It was a start of a cruel legal battle, but hoseok promised his baby girl, he won’t leave her just because she wasn’t his. And hosoek is still fighting the case, waiting for Mila to turn 16 so that she will be adult enough in the US to take her decision. Hosoek is eagerly waiting to get her custody. Thankfully, with hosoek’s connection and strong case, Mila has stayed with him despite every attempt of his ex-wife and that fcker real father.

Hosoek is a renowned music producer. He was an idol during his college days and after graduation. But he gave up his singing and dancing career when he became a father. He instead used all his money and fame to open his own music production company, which is currently top in both US and Korea. Hosoek brings both the culture of Korea and western twist in all the artists he has launched, and that’s why the diversity has made him very successful.

Hoseok zoned out for a moment, upon the mention of his children’s name. He wants to bring them both back to Korea, but he has to wait till the legal battle is closed. Two more years! That’s all. Thankfully, his children get to visit Korea often for vacations and big occasions. Meanwhile, hoseok he goes back and forth between US and Korea every month because of his business in both the country.

Yumi waited for an answer, her lips pursed in anticipation. Everyone knows Mila’s case, and they are hoping for the end of this lawsuit so that hosoek can freely take care of his daughter. She tapped her knuckles gently at hosoek’s forehead, snapping him out of his daze. Hoseok got hold of his composure and calmly replied, “they will be coming during Christmas.”

Yumi chirped happily, she clasped her hands together. She loved all her grand children, “awesome, they will come with us for celebration at the farm house?” She asked hopefully. Hosoek nodded with a shrug, “yup, they’re eager to spend Christmas with you.”

Irrespective of failing on her two sons, Yumi turned out to be a gem for her grandchildren. Just like how every child wants in their grandmother. Finally, with a peaceful smile, Yumi bid her goodnight and left to her bedroom. Hosoek finished the remaining of his drink, and decided to leave as well. Both hosoek and jungkook don’t stay at their parents house. They sometimes spend the night when it’s too late during a occasion. Otherwise, they rather preferred their own homes.

Jungkook’s feet were dragged and his body was slump. Blame it on his old age, he wasn’t as charismatic and energetic as everyone spoke about him. Some media channels even called him an immortal, an ageless human, a vampire too who was simply flawless with his milky white handsome features. Jungkook chuckled remembering those reports that his manager would enthusiastically read for him and laugh his a$$ off because the media was just too much.

Before going to his old room, jungkook halted outside his sons bedroom door. Dae and Korian shared the room at their grandparents since they rarely spent the night here. Softly and carefully jungkook opened the unlocked room and stepped inside. The table lamps were the only source of light, and jungkook smiled with adoration over his sons cute sleepy habits. Korian was all sprawled like a turtle, leaving no space on the bed and his soft toys were all suffocated under his arms and legs, he slept like he was in a cocoon of soft toys. While Dae’s bed was neat and he slept in one corner of the bed, leaving a lot of space untouched.

Jungkook walked up to Korian and kissed his forehead gently and smiled in awe when his little boy scrunched his nose and pouted just like how he used to do. Jungkook knows it because his birth father had taken a picture of his sleeping baby and framed it. Jungkook then walked up to dae’s bed and gently caressed his elder son’s forehead, he leaned and placed a soft kiss as well. He pulled back and stared at dae for a moment.

“I am sorry for being the worst father for you,” jungkook whispered. His elder son didn’t deserve his absence, he deserved his both parents love in equal amount. And believe it, jungkook loves him more than life itself, it’s just he doesn’t know how to express or show. Jungkook’s worst fear is to be accused of being like his step father, because then jungkook would give up on himself.

“Happy birthday. I got you a present. I know you would love it, because it’s what you wanted” jungkook spoke as he pulled out a velvety box which had an expensive watch that his son wished for last Christmas. “Goodnight, Dae, Papa loves you very much,”jungkook whispered and decided to leave the room. If he would have turned, he would have found the pair of doe eyes of his elder son, staring at him with longingness but there was hestitation too because Dae was simply scared of being disappointed again.

Jungkook was all freshened up, and sitting on his bed while staring at the huge glass window that expressed his gloominess in the face of the night sky. In this moment, the artist wanted to do so much more, he had regrets and he had mistakes all in bunch that he refused to unravel because if he ever did, he would finally forget who he was and would rather find himself disgusted and angry. He wasn’t proud of his inner self, he was just truly gifted.

His train of thoughts were disturbed when his bedroom door was unlocked and revealed his ex-wife with a cup of hot tea. He gave her a faint smile, as she came beside him, and sat.

There was silence as jungkook enjoyed the hot beverage, feeling his body warm internally and the taste of cinnamon giving comfort to his tired bones. So-hee simply stared at him, her slender and soft fingers caressing his arms up and down. She wanted to comfort him, and he was truly grateful that she didn’t have more complaints for the day.

After couple of minutes, jungkook was done, he placed the cup at the side table. He looked at so-hee who stared at him intensely, and there was a mutual understanding at the way their eyes spoke to each other. She wanted to help him release his stress, and jungkook knew he wanted the same. There was no need of words, jungkook gently held her chin and stared deeply into her eyes before letting them fall on her lip which trembled in anticipation, almost itching to be touched. And jungkook granted her that wish. He cupped her face before pulling her into a deep passionate kiss. The words died further as the sound of their heated and laboured breaths filled the room. So-hee’s face flushed and her body trembling just like it always does, when jungkook undid her clothes, stripping all the fabric off her body and bask into her fair glowing petite skin.

……

Sleep, the artist was without an ounce of sleep after his heated $ex with his ex-wife. So-hee didn’t wait for formalities, she was always the one to sleep first, drained and utterly satisfied. Her beautiful face that was peacefully asleep was the testimony that few minutes ago, she was in her euphoria moment.

Somethings never changed. She was his first, and also the most trusted acquaintance in his life. It wasn’t like he was using her or playing with her. Because if jungkoook gave her the pleasure, she was using him too, to trap him into the desire for her body. she wanted to feed her insecurities, despite anything, she felt great sense of happinese that she didnt need permission to have the artist. she simply had to flutter her eyelashes, and jungkook would give her the pleasure of her lifetime. They were not together anymore, but something’s stayed between them still unchanged. This moment wasn’t the first time after their divorce and probably wouldn’t be the last either. But unlike so-hee who is sleeping like she was lost in her Lala land, jungkook was wide awake. Even though he was completely worn out because of how good it felt having $ex with his ex-wife, there was guilt that he couldn’t whisper to anyone.

Look at that glowing skin, that beautiful body, his ex-wife was an epitome of beauty. She was perfect in every sense, she had cared for him even when she couldn’t understand him, she stayed with him even when his existence was unbearable, she was kind and loving despite the fact he was incapable of returning her feelings.

He loved her, that was the truth. He will always love her, jungkook knows that and it would not change. But love comes in many shapes and forms, and the kind of love he held for her was more of friendship, more of companionship, more of trust, and more of reliability. She was the only so far who managed to stick with him even when he has pushed her away many times.

She deserved love, earnestly and sincerely, from a man who was also worthy of her. Not him though, because jungkook knew he could never love her the way she wanted.

This was always like that. Jungkook doesn’t know what romantic love feels like. He wanted it at sometime, but he has given up in searching for it. Although, she was his first, she also showed him what $ex could do to a person. In jungkook’s case, the feeling of intim@cy gave him muse, a vibe to paint. He was always seeing different things, always feeling ecstasy close to his heart when his hard d!ck was thumping inside a body. That was the only little inch of probably romance he could graze his finger upon. But truth was if someone asked jungkook, what is love? He would have no answer. It’s not like he didn’t tried. After divorcing her, jungkook experimented in his hunger for finding his one true love. He met many people, slept with some. He even realised he liked a boy under him too. Every $ex gave him euphoria and relaxation, give him a new sensation and before he knew it, he was creating a masterpiece. But that was it, there is nothing more that he could achieve from intim@cy with others, he did create some of his greatest achievements but they were all materialistic. He couldn’t define love through them, he couldn’t find one honestly. So he stopped searching. One day he realised, maybe, true love will find him? It was just a motivation, jungkook had no hope for true love to be kind enough to find him. He always believed he was an hopeless case and everyone was lucky then to just experience a steamy night with him and that was it or else they all would be disappointed. Jungkook was sure they would be disappointed. He couldn’t love truly, because he never found the real feeling of true love, the kind of love that you share with a soulmate. The kind of love where every fibre of your existence right through your body, mind and soul was attached and committed to that one person. The kind of love where intim@cy was a privilege, a blessing and a forever euphoria. The kind of love where there were no doubts, no fear, but only loyalty and compassion, a desire to keep the other before your needs and priorities. The kind of love, where he felt heaven close to his soul, where he felt free and giddy, where he could feel his heart beats uneven and hazy, where his mind was at peace and as childish as it sounds he even expected few butterflies in his tummy. But up till this date, jungkook has been unlucky.

Look at this, his beautiful ex-wife so adorable and carefree, as if she was content and peaceful, unaware of the great ache in jungkook’s heart, the one beat that craved to seek his one true forever love. She was so unaware that deep down her ex-husband was simply dying to be numbed by love where he couldn’t deny it, forced to embrace it like a free bird. She would never know that right now instead of feeling giddy and love, looking at her perfectly sculpted figure, all jungkook felt was the muse to paint and nothing more. His muse? Right now, it was the deep dark blue night sky.

So instead of pondering his thoughts over his failures, jungkook decided to hold onto the trance that itched at his fingertips, pushing him to gather his painting tools and let his magic flow. For an artist like jungkook, the vibe mattered the most because then he was truly in his element, nothing could faze him. It didn’t take a lot of time, before jungkook could comprehend, he was already engulfed into his painting, ignoring the ache in his tired bones which rather wished to relax.

Mid-way through his painting, he heard his ex-wife’s groan. His eyes still didn’t let go of the canvas that was earlier pure white, and now ignited into colours that the artist will bring life too. “Gosh, jungkook, you’re doing it again. Just go to sleep,” so-hee muttered in her dreamy state, but jungkook ignored her words, remember, not even a storm could stop this artist..

She gave up and sat on the bed, her n@ked body only covered by the velvety fabric of the bedsheets, hair disheveled and her eyes droopy, but there was an-all knowing frown that the artist was very familiar with. “You’re so overbearing, ugh..” she huffed but then grabbed the blanket and knotted it around her petite body, before dragging her feet along with the velvety sheets to a small mini fridge in the room, and pulling out a ice cream bucket. She licked her lips and didn’t care about cutleries, just swiped her fingers in the thick layered ice cream. She continued to eat in that messy manner, and sat on the couch behind jungkook. She sighed and tsked. “You’re such a dork, I guess some things never changed..,” she shook her head as she spoke. But soon silence fell over the room, and so-hee ensured to be as quiet as possiblele, as jungkook painted.

It took another hour, but jungkook finally hummed in satisfaction as his lips curved into a small smile and his eyes sparkled just like the twinkling stars of the night. So-hee peeked over his shoulder, to get a glimpse of the painting..

“Wow. That is truly stunning..” she gasped out with pure adoration for the artist after all she was also one of the many of his fans that were swept off their feet after witnessing jungkook’s art work.

“What does it mean?” So-hee asked since she knew jungkook drew only through his emotions, not because he was the greatest artist of the current times.

For a moment, jungkook’s eyes dazed, and stared into the distance, as if there was a part of him in the painting that was staring back at him.. As jungkook’s eyes flickered he spoke, with true passion.. “The delusion of Night” he whispered and that had so-hee frowning but she waited.

Jungkook continued still lost in the painting, his eyes scanning every feature of the canvas, trying to find an error or mistake that he needed to rectify.. but there was nothing, his painting was as imperfect as his imperfect life, and jungkook knows the message is conveyed.

“The world sees the night as a peaceful lullaby, a time where everything is meant to dream and feel free in their sleep.. The night is filled with many vibrant stars of odd shapes, giving a sense of desire to humans that orange could be white, or blue could be red, and unicorns could be real and your most deepest desire isn’t delusion but can be real, in your dreams. But the moon in the sky is placed like the biggest player of all, beaming like a ball of shiny globe, but if you look closely, the moon as ugly as the harsh reality which is called, life.” Jungkook whispered, too lost in his trance, he wouldn’t flinch even if the moon was falling right on top it, instead he would embarrass everything thrown at him.

“In reality, the night resembles darkness, it can never be as bright as day. The night is a great example that even with twinkling stars and a giant glowing moon, cannot hide its eerie silence and the depth of darkness.. It fools you to have unrealistic dreams, more like forces you to even dream that’s extraordinary and if you’re not dreaming you’re simply laying in an empty canvas, either be black or white. But more than that the night is a companion to evil to devils in human forms.. the night instead of revealing their deepest and twisted evil secrets, it embraces them like a mother who hugs her child.. instead of showing light to their evil, the night hides them in its maze-like belly.. you would never no, that’s the beauty of night.. the reality is that the night was never a friend, and could never offer you free will or freedom, because if it did, you and I won’t be hiding in the comfort of our homes, oblivious and ignorant to the darkness outside.” Jungkook didn’t know he held quite an ounce of breath and he finally exhaled.

“Wow. I am truly amazed. But then why is she burning?” So-hee asked quite interested and intrigued by the narration.

Jungkook turned to finally pay attention to her, she was as usual carefree and relaxed even when she was completely n@ked behind those bundle of velvety sheets. She held a smile, and eagerness pooled in her eyes. Jungkook smiled, finding her cute like a little toddler with ice cream. But soon his smile disappeared as he spoke the next few words, the weight of those words was far more heavier than anyone could imagine. He said, “Because, the fight between sanity and insanity, will only burn you. Because we all are sinners after all, a little devil resides in us too.”

So-hee’s expression changed from wide eyes to rolling her eyes and to scoff at his ex-husband and then she was pouting in a matter of seconds. “Ugh, I can’t believe you’re still single.. you’re a walking Romeo and poet.”

Her eyes held a teasing glint and that made jungkook chuckle.. he spoke mindlessly as well, “you know why I am still single.” She nodded and then shrugged her shoulders, “ya ya, because baby kookie hasn’t found his true love.. and he wouldn’t play with anyone’s heart, his bestie so-hee was enough.”

She taunted and jungkook gasped visible.. “hey, that’s rude..” jungkook was now pouting. And she laughed, leaning to give a quick kiss to his ex-husband’s cheek.. “you need something sweet kookie, here..” she shoved a spoonful of ice cream in the artist’s mouth, and jungkook was forced to gulp it down.

She than sat beside him, her head hanging back on the couch, and she sighed before turning her gaze to the side profile of jungkook.. she spoke rather too faintly, “why are we so lost dear?”

Jungkook smiled at her softly before sighing himself. He spoke calmly, irrespective of the uneasiness in his heart, “I am lost, you on the other hand, avoid handsome men like a plague..when was the last time so-hee, you went on a date?”

So-hee groaned, “a year ago.. and aren’t I too old for a date? All the good men are aging like fine wine, while I am just you know, I am so-hee.”

She spoke cutely, more like blabbered. Jungkook ruffled her hair as he spoke, “exactly, my point.. you’re Han So-hee, no one can reject you..”

But his words seem to break a piece of her heart, which she didn’t know was there and still capable enough to break by his ex-husband.. *you rejected me* she thought to herself.. *I wish, you could love me.. I wish I was enough for you.. a part of me still hopes of a romantic love from you.. I guess this night will keep my secret too*

She could only wish, because her first love didn’t see her the way she desired and it was just cruel fate. But yet, look at the two of them.. they’re still close, because right now they aren’t sitting as ex-couple, but as best friends and companion who trust each other.. And so-hee hates to admit that this is exactly what was missing when they were married. They were total strangers, as if they didn’t grew up together at all, as if they were never familiar with each other. But after divorce, irrespective of everything especially moments like steamy $ex, she was glad she had her friend back, her kookie, her dorkie companion.

So-hee shrugged her thoughts, there was mild longingness still in her for this man, but it wasn’t hurting anymore. So she spoke again, with a cheerful smile, “my friend Hannah.. she told me her boss wants to take me on date… well, he is a divorcee too, and no children of his.. he saw me during the conference of my latest skin care products launch. Well, since then he has been trying to reach out to me.. I have been stalling him for a month..”

jungkook smiled and nodded.. So-hee truly can’t get enough of the way jungkook is back to listening and paying attention to her emotions and words, during their marriage, this was missing.. she truly felt like she lost her precious friend, but now, her kookie was right beside her. “I think, you should bless the poor man.. common so-hee, you have got this.. go on a date, there is nothing you’re loosing,” jungkook spoke calmly.

“I will go on a date with him, when you go on a date with someone too,” she retorted back. Jungkook glared at her and spoke, “hey, don’t be cocky with me, doesn’t suit you.”

“Well, are you planning to be single all your life?” She asked him rather seriously.. jungkook became silent, and spoke more like whispered, “I wish I knew the answer to it.”

She again answered back, “just like the way, I deserve a love story.. you do too.. why aren’t you trying to find your love story. You’re not that old.” She laughed but it died down soon after upon seen the dejected look in jungkook’s eyes.

“You know I have tried finding true love.” Jungkook whispered simply.. the silence was think and his voice was thicker.

So-hee’s face lost its colour, the cheeky side of her disappeared. She spoke with sadness in her voice, “sometimes, I feel hoseok hyung is so right. I brought this upon us. You wouldn’t have struggled and been forced to play happy marriage with me.. I shouldn’t have gone with the first opportunity I got..” she didn’t realise she was talking animatedly and walking back and forth before jungkook.

It wasn’t easy, divorce. With a hope to find his true love, jungkook was risking hurting his wife, his children, his family and even himself..it was the most courageous decision he made, thought selfishly for once, to just taste true love. But life has still been barren from true love for him. It’s a bittersweet symphony, his life..

“Loving you was my heart’s choice. And i shouldn’t have taken an advantage of you. I shouldn’t have agreed to father seong-min’s offer of marrying you, when clearly I knew you didn’t love me.. You only saw me as your friend. But I was selfish, I thought I will make you fall in love with me. Time after time, I failed to be your true love,” so-hee spoke with pained voice and jungkook sighed.

“It’s not your fault.. I am not typically the perfect man. If anything you invested your love in the wrong man.” Jungkook tried to lighten the mood. So-hee chuckled lightly, “well, you deserve love too.. I don’t regret making you my first love..”

“I am honoured my lady,” jungkook bowed and she bowed back. She added, “let’s just blame your step father for everything who decided to get you married at an early age just because he was scared that you will fall in love with someone and give up your career like hosoek hyung. God knows why he saw me as a first choice for marrying you, probably he wanted to add me in his army to trap you forever in his commands through me.but clearly the old man was dumb, so I am blaming him for everything..” jungkook laughee because no one knows this side of so-hee except him. Because for his parents, relatives and even children, so-hee was an innocent, soft-spoken, and polite angel sent from heaven.

But suddenly so-hee pouted and spoke, “but kookie, I don’t regret our marriage.. I love our sons. I can never regret having them.”

Jungkook smiled genuinely, “Me neither. I just love them so much..thank you for blessing me with them..”

So-hee added, “I love them more”

Jungkookok retorted, “I love them more than more or you..”

So-hee gasped and added, “I love them more than the hair on your head, and their heads, and my head, and the universe head. I win.

“Dork,” Jungkook snorted with a laugh. She gasped with mouth wide opened, “Take that back, I am pretty not dork.”

And then the night was filled with laughter, tickled and bickering. There was love too, but the king of love that supports and cherishes one another like friends.

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