Chapter 1

C R E S S   S A O I R S E   C O S T E L L A

I bit my lower lip in anxiousness as I make my way towards our home, silently pleading to not be able to see my Auntie's face but when I arrived at the front yard, I saw her. I can't even comprehend she's in front of me when she instantly rushed to where I am. At first, I was confused but after I finally read the intense anger written on her eyes, I became afraid. I stand firm and still.

"Is there something wrong, Auntie?" She just narrows her eyes at me before slapping me. My cheek ached and I looked at her surprised with my one hand touching the swollen skin of my cheek. I can taste the blood that maybe came from my lip because of her slap.

"What did you saw last night?" She asked, looking down at my tiny figure.

"Last night?" I asked in reply. What does she mean?

"Tell me the truth. You can't deceive me brat!" She shouted which caused me to flinch in astonishment. I anxiously swallowed while I slowly lower my head. I pinched the hem of my school shirt and stopped the tears that are desperately wanting to be freed.

What did I do to deserve such anger? She usually beats me when Mommy and Uncle Rector is not around. She will abuse me physically and mentally with harsh actions not befitting for a child and ill words, crashing my mental state. At first, I thought that maybe it's because I unintentionally did something that makes her upset but in the end, she just despise me. After all, I wasn't supposed to be alive.

Her torment started with a few slaps and pinches when I was 7 years old. She will do it every single time, she'll found that I did something wrong even if it's the tiniest bit of mistake. I didn't tell it to Mommy, thinking that Auntie Annita was just doing this for my sake. She just wants to make me better. I also keep in mind that my mother doesn't succumb to anyone even it is her cousin, Auntie Annita. If she'll know this, the possible outcomes of misunderstandings will arise.

After the countless beatings and abuse I received from her, there's only one thing that stayed inside my mind. She doesn't care about my life, She didn't even treat me like family. She would do that just to hurt me and ruin my life. There are bruises that formed, some large, some small enough to cover with clothes. Others are red, some are violet and others are fading. Mommy sees these bruises and asked me where I got it from.

I told her that I got it while playing with other kids in school. She believed me and carefully reminded me that I shouldn't okay too much as it can take a toll in my weak body and will receive bruises. I felt so guilty because I lied. I know that lying's not good but I'm afraid. I just wonder why Auntie Annita hates me, despises me, and abuses me all these years.

"I'm already inside the house last night, Auntie," I answered, caught up in my own thoughts.

"Stop calling me Auntie while acting as if you were an angel. You are way farther than that. You're the greatest mistake of your careless mother, dear,"

Silence enveloped  the two of us before she added, "You're Mother regrets you for living,"

"Auntie, I'm being honest. I don't know anything you're saying," Thoughts flooded inside my head. Am I  my Mother's greatest mistake? Why didn't I know this? I was doubtful but also at stress. Auntie is saying the truth, isn't she?

"You're lying! Don't try to trick me!" I suddenly felt that time stopped. Everything that's happening around me seems to be frozen. My heart stopped, my eyes blurred, my hands clenched, and my body hunched. What does this mean?

I gathered enough strength before replying, "Trust me, Auntie. I didn't really see anything," Endless thoughts entered my mind, continuously covering one over another.

"Answer me honestly, child. Have you seen me and Rector last night?" Uncle Rector and her? What does she mean?

"What do you mean, Auntie?" I asked but she just dropped my question and glared at me as a silent reply.

I looked down and said, "I really don't know," After that, she gripped my hair tightly. I hold her hand in an attempt to stop her or try to defend myself yet it doesn't work. I'm near to collapse because of the pain. I groaned in agony trying to get her to stop. She didn't. She even acts like she hadn't heard me at all.

She doesn't care. She will always not. Now, I believed that all those efforts of pleasing her are too useless. She gripped my hair with two hands and this time, I let her one hand go, I can't hold onto it more especially because of the pain. I can feel it in my scalp as if she's ripping my hair out.

Then, I saw Mom and I've never been thankful but also guilt swallows me. If I just told her what happened in the past then this wouldn't have existed. Auntie Annita easily let my hair go and gets herself ready to explain at Mom's sudden calm face.

"Carina, listen—" Mom gave her a loud and unbearably painful slap before Auntie Annita has even had the chance to explain. Auntie held her cheek and look at my Mom in surprise.

"I won't listen to your lies. I've seen it, witness it. Stop pretending," My Mom looked at Auntie with an unreadable expression on her eyes.

"You've got it all wrong," Auntie Annita tried to defend herself for the second time but failed once again.

"You're a treacherous leech, a greedy and envious one. You'll suck until dry. Not leaving anything behind. if there's a chance, you'll get it. Am I right?" Mom added, "You'd never changed. Still as black as a sheep in a white flock,"

Auntie Annita's hand is in a fist shape, anger filling her evil doe-like eyes. She briefly took a deep breath, calming herself in the process.

Auntie bitterly laughed, "Carina, I'm the first in everything. In my parents' eyes, I'm precious. In my former classmates and current workmates, I'm a beauty with intelligence, a unique woman with grace and talent. In my past relationships, I'm a great partner to brag about. I'm the greatest among the rest even if our family except my parents thinks about it. Everything is set. Everything is going as it should be yet you came. You ruined everything!"

"I was the first that known Rector. The first one that approached him when no one's taking the initiative, talked to him like he doesn't come from a wealthy family despite that it even ruins my reputation, I treat him like a normal person should regardless of my position in life, I helped him reach where he is right now, help him get his dreams. I offer him my all, my everything and I thought everything goes with the plan. I loved him.  he's all that I wish for," She looked at Mom in disdain before continuing.

"But when you appeared, not only Leonardo and my former suitors were attracted but also Rector. He didn't care if you and Leonardo are together and still thinks he has a chance that maybe someday, he'll be able to marry you. I was there! I was there when he said that. I can't even explain how excruciating it is or how mad I am. You even had a child in the first place but he lowered his pride, throw away almost everything he works hard for just to take you in his care with that child. You're so selfish, so insensitive, so unappreciative. How could Rector love you?"

"I made it clear as glass. I will only love Leonardo and not anyone else. Rector may help me and my daughter but it's just because of want. He's just giving me debts that I need to pay for soon and that's not what love is. That's just infatuation,"

"Infatuation? You!" Auntie Annita pointed at Mom, madly.

"How could a person like you know it?" Mom asked, cold and also indifferent as if Auntie is not her cousin at all.

"You had never faced such hardships, are you? Yes, you may be a black sheep in the family. you felt left out, unwanted, and disgraced but your own blood-related relatives but it certainly has a reason. Don't tell me it's the fault of everyone. After all, it purely depends on your actions, words, and especially your spoiled and indecent attitude. You're just putting blame on what's real after realizing you're the one on the wrong side," I looked at my Mom as she speaks out those words. I was more than surprised. She's always smiling when she's in front of me, so careful and loving but right now, she's calm yet enraged.

My mother is so controlled especially with how she dealt with everything. She doesn't want failure and strives to success but also to happiness. She'll choose what is the best or when she picks the most useless, she'll make a solution to it without stressing out. I can't be much prouder to see her calm composition as harsh words came out from her mouth. I wanted to be like her and be able to fight for myself so when Auntie Annita said I'm my Mother's greatest mistake, I was doubtful, scared and sad at first but I trust my Mom.

There's a silence that reigns again for the second time but at this moment, my Mom heads towards where I am, checked my hair and sighed in relief, kissed my forehead, held my hand, and looked into my eyes. "I prepared everything yesterday after thinking about finally stop seeking for help but if you want to bring anything that held dear to you, pick it up and I'll wait for you here," Without thinking twice, I ran towards mine and Mom's room, picking up the discarded teddy bear sitting on the bedsheets. I already got what I needed and so I go back to where my Mom and Auntie Annita is.

Mom opened the car's door, enter the vehicle, insert the key into the ignition before she looked at Auntie Annita with a smile plastered on her lips, "I mustn't put my trust on you before but I still hope for your happiness. Farewell, Annita,"

She looked at me, smiled at me, and fix my messy hair, "Forgive me, Cress. If I could just—" I held her hand in my own and said, "It's alright. I trust you, Mom,"

After that, she started the car, left the house, the subdivision and never looked back. At this moment, I knew this is only the beginning.

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