Written with feelings

Dear diary,

  sometimes I sit by and think, "what would've happened if I chose to do this" if I "never stopped"

Dear diary,

   sometimes I like to sit by and write, poets that I can never share, stories that I will never tell. Maybe it's because I'm too afraid, not afraid to share but afraid to fall. I never got along with this feeling of being lower than somebody, and that's why I try to be better than everybody.

    Maybe that's why I'm sharing this with you. Because maybe for once— for once I can be seen. Maybe you can see my worth and say "wow, that's so great!". Words that they can never say.

That's 122 words and I still want to write. But on some days, I can't even bother to say that many words- can't even write that many words- this part, I can't think of anything anymore. Struggling to continue on. That's 164 words.

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Dear reader,

Dear me,

   There's something that I want to tell you. One that I'm not sure if it's even worth your time. One that I'm also not sure if it's worth to say. Maybe one day, as you continue to read, you'll find the reason why I wanted to speak.

I write this at night, knowing that if they find, I will choose to hide.

   I wonder why people choose to be with me then remember that out of the hundreds of people, only a few chose to stay. Maybe you'll find this part a bit boring, I do too. But- somehow. I still find beauty in this part I would call a space.

  Yes, I find it weird. Weird how I yearn for love and attention but never tried to get it. I know that I'm not the only one. That I'm not the only one who once spoke of being fair but ended up leaving if it meant staying safe, that I'm not the only one who dreamt of living in a palace- surrounded with people I love and ended up living alone in a cold empty space.

371 words.

That's 371 words, and yet I watch to how easy it is to scroll by and see it end. Even though I spent nearly an hour or approximately 50 minutes writing this-

Writing isn't easy.

actually- being anything at all isn't easy!

They may speak to you as if you are living in their dream heavens know that deep down- DEEP DOWN they know that where you are right now is not somewhere they want to be. Perhaps it's because they want to bring you down or perhaps they want to bring you up?

May you tell me because that's only something they know and that something is a thing that you can know. Though be warned! Because like what they say, the truth hurts.

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Can you believe that? I already passed the 500 word minimum and yet in my eyes, the distance between 164 and this is quite the short one-

I didn't plan to make "Crown of Unfulfilled Desires" a story with characters such as "Quinn" and "Eun-kyung". I was never good at making them talk- when I do make a story with characters, it's full of descriptive actions. Though you will never find it in my previous works in which I mostly abandoned.

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