LIFE SUCK - but smile

                                [Bian pov ]

It is already dawn. the sky has a beautiful  mix colour of blue , yellow and orange.  It looks beautiful  but not for me because  nothing is going to change in my life . It would  still be the boring and plain day like it was last 18 years . As the it is the last year  of my high school i just have  one goal to study and enter a good university.  with my  thoughts  i stop staring the sky and start to walk towards  the bus stop .

I always past through  the same path  everyday  to go school .looking around  the old shop colourless and lifeless , the building colours  were all fading  away its the same as my life boring and colourless .

"Bian........ An bian ....... " i just  heard my name being called as i look toward the direction  of the voice i saw a families  figure.  It was grandma Jay . she is an old lady she had her own stall . she is not living with her son as her son had settle  in the city and had his own family he never had came back to the village  let alone sending  money  to his mother .

" Yes grandma"  i said   " bain thank you  for helping me yesterday  with my store and here some breads i know you much  not have your brakefast yet .... here take it "  ................... thank  you grandma ..i would  be coming today evening  as well... but now i have to go i would be late,   see you in evening " nai " ( grandmother)  .

And i missed my bus ......... when i reach the bus station it was already  late.... n I'm  not going to get a cap or taxi now .... so i have to run all the way to school 

.. and i was already late  for the school the guard already close the gate ....

Uncle please... it's  my first  time being late can u please  .... let me go inside  please  uncles.... and finally  i got to enter . As soon as the enter my classroom i was so tired that i laid down  my head on my desk  and close my eyes. It was very noise  in the room as the teacher  had not reach yet. " oii bian you ok" .. i know the voice it was kai .... my friend since elementary school . He is a dumb head  , who knows nothing except for playing  basketball, he had never tried to study of course  he is the last rank student ... but he is good brother of mine always  help when ever i need ..... not to mention he was the most irritating  person i have ever seen . " ya m ok " i replied  without  looking at him and not opening  my eyes "but ............." as soon as he start  to talk the bell rang and the teacher  arrived  .

Ok student  today i would  be giving  you all the mark of the last test ......... ami ... ari .......................... " Bian " as i heard my name  i went to the teacher  to get it ... and i didn't  do good these time ..... " come and meet me in the office bian , after the class " . it was not like i did really  bad in the test .. but i got the third highest  mark .... But it is never good enough for me ... i had always  been the top .. and not being in the third ... i know  the teacher  know  what is wrong ....... i just hope that he wouldn't  call my family . After the class  the following  the homeroom  teacher  to the staffroom .

[IN STAFFROOM]

" Bain ... what happened  to you is something  bothering  you .. that distract you from your studies....... you are really  not doing well in the last few months  tell me may be i would  be  any of your help "

No sir ... it's nothing... i just  didn't  prepare  properly  for the test ...... Don't  worry  i would  do better  in the up coming  tests .

"you are sure " he ask me looking at my eyes.

i took a deep sign and reply  " yes sir

..... sir if there is no other think i would  go back to class " ....... yes sure... go he said go.

And as i was walking back to the class room  i slipped  and fall on something .... i was really  not paying attention

" ouch ....... it really  hurt " as i look up it was a can laying on the way  " who had thrown a can on the way..... it is actually  my bad day " i got up throw the can in a dustbin ... and went back to class.... we finished  the classes  by 4 pm .

As i was packing my books .... kai came " oii ... wanna go have fun ... we are going in a game center " ..... ' no' i directly  refused " i have to go to help grandma  jay "  " bian why don't  u come you barely hangout  with both of us now" said amily . she also have been my friend since elementary school,  she is a very cheerful and shy girl . " not today ami... may be some other day .... see you guys m going " and the got up from my desk ..... " ok .... bye... see you tomorrow  " said amily ... " yaa bye " kai said pouting  and looking at me .....

I got out of the school and directly went to grandma jay stall ..... i help her with serving and chores  . It was already 8pm so i was returning  home . And the building near my home   caught  my  eyes  it had been empty for quite a long time ..... but i saw light  on today .... " may be someone had shifted  ...... new neighbors "...

i went back home and washed my self up ....and came down for dinner .. mom was arranging food on the table  so i just went and give her a hand .... dad was watching  news on tv .." mom .. nest had not yet .came home " i ask nest is my elder brother he was 6 years older then me   ... i already  know  the answer he barely  came home early... he does nothing  but just roaming  around  with his friends  partying .. he was the most useless  person  in the family  " mmm" mom reply without  even looking at me ..

after that we had our dinner  and i went to my room.... i was almost  to sleep  when i heard  the bike stopping  sound ... here he came back .. my brother .... as soon as he came inside i could  hear him vomiting  ........ And i know  what was coming  next .....

i could  hear my father  shouting on nest and him smashing  all the thing ...... i had already  got  used to it ....it always  happen ........ everyday ... i just want to escape  from it ... it was like a living hell .

I just wish that i would  also have a normal  family  , where everyone are happy  , understanding   and a peaceful, place where after coming  being tired  we can rest and relax  ...... but it was never going to happen  .

My home was where all the members  get more stress  .. and is better  to stay outside  then coming back home. It was not alway like this it all started  when my brother left  his studied  when he was only 17 .

Actually  according  to me it was not home .... but just a building

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