Episode 1

Once upon a time, Riana was so grateful to marry Septian, a well-established and handsome man who was sought after by many women in the capital. But now, that gratitude has turned into a burden that constantly suffocates her chest. How could it not, she once believed that Septian truly loved her, but it turned out that he married her only to be close to her sister, Liliana.

That conviction has grown stronger since two months ago, precisely when Liliana became a widow with a six-month-old baby. Under the guise of pity, Septian asked her to live with them. The excuse sounded sweet, but in Riana's eyes, it was all proof that her husband's heart had never truly belonged to her.

"Riana, this is the grocery money for this week. Don't forget, the fridge must always be stocked with food. Your sister is still breastfeeding, she needs nutritious intake and shouldn't eat late. And you also have to be frugal," said Septian as he handed a wad of red bills to her.

The single word 'frugal' felt like piercing Riana's heart. Of all her husband's commands, why did that word have to be directed at her, while almost all the needs were prioritized for her sister?

"Frugal, Mas?" Riana repeated softly.

"Yes. The company has been going bankrupt lately. Besides, you're a housewife, you don't go anywhere, so you don't need to buy all sorts of things or join social gatherings," Septian said, further deepening the wound in his wife's heart.

Even though before marriage, the 29-year-old woman was a high-achieving medical graduate with cum laude honors. However, for the sake of her love for Septian, she was willing to give up her career and choose to be a housewife. She considered the sacrifice worthy in order to bear the status of Septian Prawira's wife. Unfortunately, now it all feels in vain.

"Then what is that money for, Mas?" Riana asked in an annoyed tone after receiving the money from her husband. Her eyes briefly glanced at two other wads of money that were still neatly arranged on the table.

Septian adjusted his glasses for a moment, then glanced at the money. A thin smile appeared before he answered, "That's for your sister-in-law. You know she has a lot of needs, right? Have to buy clothes, toys, milk, diapers, and much more."

"But Mas..."

"Riana, don't be stingy. You know your sister is a widow. If it's not me, her brother-in-law, who fulfills her needs, who else? I don't want to argue anymore, we've discussed this often," Septian said in a cold tone before he walked away, carrying the money that had been prepared.

Riana could only stare at Septian's back as it slowly disappeared into the white walls. Her gaze was empty, as if hoping that the man would return to her. However, it was all just a dream. It had been an hour since her husband left, and he had not returned to their room.

"Is it true that there is no hope for me, Mas? We have been married for years, but you never allowed me to sleep by your side, except when you wanted to have marital relations..." Riana muttered softly, with tears starting to fall.

As a doctor, Riana understood very well that her husband had sleep disorders due to past trauma. Therefore, she tried to understand the reason Septian never allowed her to sleep by his side. She tried to instill understanding in her heart, that it was not because of her.

However, some time ago, the bitter truth slapped her in the face. With her own eyes, when she was about to bring a glass of warm milk, Riana saw her husband able to fall asleep soundly on her sister's bed. Since that night, her understanding slowly crumbled.

That flashback now haunted her. Riana sat on the edge of the bed with a swollen face, tears still flowing non-stop. The wound in her heart grew deeper as if her sacrifices all this time had never been considered.

"I've tried to understand, Mas... but it turns out that you don't need me," she whispered softly.

Riana's tears flowed even more profusely, wetting her cheeks until they fell onto the pillow. The night felt so long and lonely, only her sobs could be heard in the room. She hugged herself, trying to find the warmth she had never received from her husband.

Riana once imagined, a life full of love, togetherness, and happiness, but in reality, it was just a mirage. Every day she had to face the bitter reality, that her existence was only a complement.

The ringing of the cellphone made Riana end her pain. She saw that the caller was from one of her lecturers and former supervising doctors. She immediately wiped away the remaining tears and neutralized her emotions.

"Hello, Doc," Riana greeted softly.

"Riana, I have read your application letter to participate as a volunteer in Sorong. Have you thought about it carefully?" asked Doctor Alif, his voice firm yet gentle.

"Yes, Doc. I think it's been enough for the past five years wasting my degree. My soul as a doctor is called again, more than just a feeling of guilt. There are many who need basic medical assistance there, and I want to be useful again," Riana replied, her voice a little loud, as if convincing herself.

Doctor Alif was silent for a moment, then asked carefully, "Do you understand the consequences? Far, heavy, and may take a long time. What about your family?"

Riana closed her eyes for a moment. Thoughts about Septian and Liliana raged, but her answer was firm, "I understand, Doc. That's why I have to go. Not to run, but to find out who I am again. If not now, when else?"

"I appreciate your decision," replied Doctor Alif. "Alright, there is a short selection and training process. If you pass, the departure may be next month. Prepare documents, rapid tests, and permission letters from family members if possible. If you need administrative assistance, just come to the hospital, I'll help take care of it."

Riana felt something warm creeping into her chest, a hope. "Thank you, Doc. I will come this week."

After hanging up the phone, Riana sat for a moment looking at the window. She remembered a week ago, after seeing her husband so close to her sister, she immediately decided to become a volunteer. She didn't want to torture herself anymore, if Septian didn't love her, letting go might be the only way to happiness.

Besides, why should she fight for a love that would never be hers? In addition, the woman her husband loved was her sister. And she deserves to be happy!

Riana took a deep breath after feeling calm, she wanted to get a glass of water to wet her dry throat. However, before she opened the door, there was a knock on the door.

"What's wrong, Sis?" Riana asked when she found out that the person knocking on the door was Liliana, holding her little baby.

"Riana... can I sleep here? My baby is very fussy, maybe he is disturbed because your husband is sleeping there, and snores very loudly," said Liliana with a tired face.

Riana was silent. There was a bitter taste rising again. How could her sister say that without any reluctance at all, as if everything was normal?

"Oh..." Riana replied in a hoarse voice. She tried to smile, even though her heart felt crushed.

Liliana, without being invited in, barged in and put her baby on the bed, then sat quietly while asking innocently, "You look pale. You're not jealous, are you?"

Riana's anger flared. Her throat was choked, her lips began to tremble, ready to throw out all the words she had buried all this time.

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