Prologue

“How is he?” I asked the doctor as soon as he stepped out of the operating room.

“His condition is still critical because he lost a lot of blood,” he said. “But I assure you, the operation was successful. I just can’t tell when he’ll wake up.”

I touched my face, my hand still stained with blood. Everything was spinning. If I hadn’t

been there… would he still be okay?

What if neither of us had been there at that moment? Maybe he’d still be fine now.

I started crying. The memory hit me again it was my fault this happened to you. I shouldn’t have let myself fall into that bastard’s trap.

My hands shook as I remembered how you risked your life… just for me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling like the life had been drained out of me. Half of my world was somewhere inside this hospital, fighting for his life.

I looked at Mathew, who seemed worried about me.

“You should rest first. He’ll live, I’ll do my best, Selene,” he said gently.

But I just stared at him blankly. My eyes had lost all strength, and my knees finally gave out. I collapsed to the floor.

“Where is my son?!”

I turned in shock. It was Francis’ mother. I immediately stood up.

“M-Ma’am…” I said softly, my head lowered.

Her hand struck my cheek, hard.

“I warned you so many times!” she cried. “I told you to leave my son! Because of your job, he got hurt!”

I clenched my fists as my tears fell.

“M-Ma’am… I—I blame myself too…” I said in a shaking voice.

“Of course you should!” she shouted. “My son wouldn’t be like this if it weren’t for you! If you really blame yourself, then take his place!”

If only I could. If only I could take his pain I would have done it already. I deserve their hatred. I deserve their anger.

“Get out. And don’t ever show yourself to us again. Remember that,” she said before entering the room where Francis was.

“Let their anger pass first. Then you can come back,” Mathew said quietly. I hadn’t realized he was still there.

I gave a weak laugh. “No. Their anger is right. It’s enough to make me understand that I’m the reason the man I love is fighting for his life. I’ll leave.”

I walked out of the hospital, my body heavy and empty. My feet took me wherever they wanted. People stared probably because my hands were still covered in blood.

I wanted to cry more, but my eyes had nothing left to give.

My feet eventually brought me to a church. I took a deep breath and went inside. I sat at the back and stared blankly at the altar… then broke down again. I knelt and clasped my hands together.

“Please… let him live. Why couldn’t it have been me instead?” my voice trembled. “Let him live. I’m begging you. I’ll leave. I won’t show myself to him again. Just… please don’t take him away from me yet. Let him live even if it means I disappear from his life forever.”

When I had poured out everything, I sat back down, staring silently at the altar. I don’t deserve him. I don’t deserve anything he’s done for me.

My phone buzzed a message from Mathew.

Mathew:

He’s doing better now. But don’t visit yet his mom is still here. I’ll text you when she leaves.

I sighed in relief and whispered a small thank you to the heavens.

A few hours later, another message came.

Mathew:

They left for now to get some things. You can visit before they return.

I hurried back to the hospital. When I reached his room, I froze for a moment then walked in.

He was lying there peacefully.

“H-hey…” my voice cracked. I took a deep breath.

“You’re doing better now. This… might be the last time we see each other. You won’t see me again. I’ll leave you for good.”

The tears finally broke free.

“When you wake up… please don’t look for me. Live peacefully with your mom. With your future wife. Even if I won’t be by your side anymore… remember this not even bullets could ever take my love for you away. I love you. So damn much. Goodbye.”

I rushed out before I could break again.

Outside, Mathew was waiting, worry in his eyes.

“Where will you go?” he asked.

“Maybe I’ll find another job… somewhere far. Away from here. Away from him and his family,” I said, accepting the handkerchief he offered.

“Please update me. I’m worried about you. You can retire, Selene. How long will you stay in that line of work? I’m your friend. I care about you.”

Before I could reply, a woman called his name. His wife, she was beautiful. He kissed her forehead, and she smiled kindly at me.

I said my goodbyes… and walked away.

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