Humans Sucks so does Me

well currently my life is shit, I don't feel like doing anything, or thinking about anyone.

I just want to go somewhere where there's no human i just wanna disappear badly from this Social circle.

ppl talk shit about me, about my body, my personality, my voice, how I look, how I behave, Fucking everything, Ik I'm different from them but what to do i didn't chose to born here my consent wasn't taken I'm just here. and I Fucking hate that fact.

They judge so hard now I feel so scared even from anyone looking at me it's so scary, their eyes wandering on top to bottom.. That disgusting face they make It's so horrible for me to go through this everyday..

I just want to die so badly, my desire for death is more strong than my will of living, of course I have my own Fucking Dreams I also wanna live my life at my fullest but it's not happening it's just so messed up. everything sucks, I started avoiding all possible humans, I don't wanna talk to anyone They Deserve better, I'm becoming so much aggressive annoying and irritating, I can't control my emotions anymore I'm not able to handle it anymore I just can't do this i wanna Leave everyone behind and hide somewhere.

I don't know what's happening in my life anymore, I don't wanna do anything, I don't feel like surviving anymore, I just wanna die.

in my life i lost my own feelings or emotions whatever u call it like Your own opinion, I don't have my personal options anymore or favouritism, I can't do anything or take decisions by my own self, I've to ask my surrounding ppl about this or that, I lost my ability to take decisions, I'm not peaky Even if I want to be it's not happening, I had so much expectations from myself when I was younger I had goals i had dreams, now I'm feeling ashamed on my younger self whenever I look back i feel pity on that little kid and I'm disgusted from my current self, I feel Bad for my parents they deserved Better, This world Deserves someone better then me, idk why i born in shouldn't be here

I'm so much guilty that I ask permission from my mom that let me die please, idk why she always denies, idk how am I even beneficial to her idk why she wants me to live in this world I don't wanna please Say Yes only one yes and I can go without any guilt.

I'm having suicidal thoughts, I'm becoming every violent, I don't feel empathy looking at dead body, ppl calls me Psycho, they are disgusted by me.

Whenever I remember my childhood self I feel like crying out loud Ppl used to Bully me a lot, idk what I did to them, I was just simply existing and they used to hate me, they still hate me, idk what the fuck is wrong with me and if I'm that much abnormal why they don't admit me in mental hospital at least I won't feel weird there, fuck everyone Fuck myself

I'm never invited anywhere, no one ever wanted me, Whenever I remember my life till now I get to know that No one ever wanted to be my friend It was always me who wanted to be someone's friend, I got dumped by all, they used me my whole life, ppl still use me but I let it go thinking at least uk what lol nvm

no one just ever looked at me and thought of being my friend, No one ever came to me, I always felt that maybe I'm not friendship person maybe I just don't deserve this kind of bonds maybe I born to be like this, it's not that I want to be alone or I like silence, it's just I can't Have friends, I can't Have voices around me in my life I'm not capable of it since I born, I never wanted to be alone, It was never my liking, from the beginning I always wanted friends, I also want to feel being important person i also Want someone who can Care for me genuinely

I cared for many ppl in my life At the end they just bumped me I supported them physically mentally Financially Without expecting anything in return just be with me, but they all vanished suddenly they ghosted me they just dumped me, this all started effecting my brain by time I got many traumas, Ppl don't born with weird Brain, I became like this Abnormal which I never chose to become, I just want one happy Normal life, others pray for Happy Life i pray for normal life cause World told me I'm not normal I'm Abnormal, I shouldn't be like this

And those who act about being kind to me are just Fake ik they pity me and They are also disgusted by me at some point they just don't say it out loud, but they did showed Some hints by saying some things at certain points they slip their tongues and show me my place

Ppl always do that they always make me remember my place they be like you shouldn't forget your flaws.

there's no good thing in my life or in my body

Ugly eyes, ugly hands, ugly color, ugly hair, ugly legs, ugly voice, ugly nose, ugly ears, Ugly brain, Fingers Every Fucking thing is ugly

I used to love myself a lot and I still do but it doesn't change the facts that how I am actually lmao How long a person can be in delulu? Fact is Fact, No one ever looked at me with loving eyes no one ever admired me Guess what it's not that I never want Love in my life Lol it's just no one will ever love me

This all shits ever Less I even got to know that I'm Bisexual Fuck Not a thing can be okay in my in life it's just so shit

I'm disappointing ppl in every prospective, Bruh ppl can even like insects Animals Birds but not me, they can't even Talk or do anything guess What? ppl still like them, but not me, I try my very best to entertain Ppl, even as a joker if I make them adore me I'm okay with that I can Step so low if someone is ready to accept me, I'll do everything but no one Fucking wants me My Value is so much low Then those spiece Rip

I'm Value Less, Hope Less... I wanna end everything so badly hope someone kidnap me and Take out my organs and sell them at least like that I'll be some good use for someone who's in need.

Aaj k liye etna kaafi hai Shayad lol

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