Fear of losing a thing which is not yours

The fear of losing gripped me. I started studying hard and didn't want Alex to top the class. I was going great with my works. But deep inside I was doing all this to avoid the uneasy feeling I had for Mateo. Exams were in few days.

It was Mateo's birthday today. And students who had their birthday brought candies with themselves and distributed them in class. Unknowingly, I was so excited to get a candy from him… From his own hands.

Half day passed and it was recess. The time to distribute candies. He went from table to table giving candies. I was preparing myself to wish him happy birthday while he will hand me the candy. I was fully prepared, but my heart was palpitating so bad. It was becoming hard for me to breathe. "He will come closer to me. Ahh! My heart can't take this. He will be here. Handing me candy with his own hands" These thoughts flooded my mind. Well it was just a candy. There was nothing to be feared about but my little heart who was experiencing initial stages of love couldn't stop racing. By the time he reached my desk I fully prepared myself in the same way I prepare myself for giving presentation in front of class.

He came towards me, put his hands in packet to take candy out. "Have a candy" he said in a very calm and soft tone. And me? I was frozen! Completely frozen at the moment. His soft voice "Have a candy" was playing again and again in my mind. I wanted to wish him happy birthday, but I couldn't. I didn't have the courage to face him, but he was there looking at me like he yearned to hear my voice. Something inside me was stopping from doing so. Words were stuck in my throat. Nothing came out of my mouth

All I had was a frozen body looking down. He kept the candy on table and proceeded to distribute further. "Margot?" Treesa spoke. I immediately took the candy from table, kept it in my pocket and answered Treesa "Yes". "Woah why is your face all red. It was just a candy. You didn't even wish him dumbo." The instant regret shook me. "I didn't wish him. Why! Why!? Why was my body frozen. Why didn't words come out" All I have was regret and the candy he gave me.

Mateo sat on his seat after distributing candies. I came in my senses, held my mind and thoughts together and started writing the work assigned by my teacher. I didn't look at him for the whole day and the day ended with a regret feeling.

...Mateo's POV...

The time I went close to her, it seemed like I was moving towards an angel. My heart was racing so fast and my body was at a verge of shaking. Her presence make me feel so calm. Whenever I see her. I just want to be around her. Her eyes seem like a deep ocean as if moon was setting in her eyes. The time she looks at me with those eyes. I forget everything. I enter into a different world where only she is present and no other voices. The time she speaks, her voice brings me to peace. Her voice is like a magical verse. Her behavior attracts me more towards her. My personality changes towards her. I want to belong to her. I want to tell her that how much impact she has made in my life. But I can't gather the courage to talk to her. She is a moon, and I am a man watching moon from down.

But the time she wasn't able to look at me made me think a lot.

"Is she uncomfortable.?"

"Did I do something wrong or did I say something that hurt her.?"

"She didn't wish me. But why?"

All these questions kept coming in my mind haunting me from looking at her.

I felt a fear of losing her even when she is not mine.

...Margot's POV...

I was on my bed staring at the candy at him. There were mixed emotions. The candy I am holding in my hand was in his hands. This thought made me blush very hard that my ears turned red. But the regret of not even wishing him had me.

"What if he thought of me as an arrogant person?"

"What if he started hating me?"

All these thoughts were distributing me. I was like…like

I felt a fear of losing him even when he was not mine.

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