Chapter 1

...Chapter 1...

All skies and hell can't seem to forgive me not after this immoral dream of mine.

I never thought about him in this way, at least not willingly, but now he is everywhere, in my dreams, in my head, and now in front of me.

“Bella, are not you going to say hi to him?”, I heard my mom saying, but how am I supposed to tell her that I can't look at him without remembering the things I saw in my dreams.

How am I supposed to pretend normal when it is not. He is my cousin. I'm not supposed to see him in that way, but his eyes affect me, even though, they are pretty decent in their own ways.

I tightened my hold on the hamper of gift I was holding in my hand. But before I could say anything, he walked closer to me with his smile, and I held my breath like he would know if I let it out.

“Darla!”, he whispered while looking at me, but little did he knows what he is actually doing to me. Keeping myself straight, I smiled a little to me.

“Hey!”, I whispered back, barely keeping eye contact. He was taller than before. Hair more messy than before. Indigo buttoned shirt tucked messily in faded black plain pants.

And the more I try to resist him, the more I'm failing.

“You seem confused, overwhelmed. All good?”, He spoke again taking few steps back.

Embarrassment felt rushing down my cheeks. I bit on the lower lip to suck a little air to keep myself steady. Lowering my eyes, I turned around without saying anything.

I need to clear my head.

I left the living room without looking at him again. Maybe, I shouldn't have done it, but I can't face him when my head is a mess.

He never came for my birthday not for last 3 years, and I thought maybe he is going to skip again, but he did come. And I don't know if I should be happy or sad or angry.

Why does he came after three years? He shouldn't have to come. I walked upstairs with tears in my eyes. I thought it was nothing, I thought he was nothing, not anymore, but I was wrong.

He still has affect on me, which is not his fault, but my own.

I remember my sixteenth birthday, the one we celebrated together. But that night......

Flashback (three years ago)

“Mom, have you seen Raden?”, I asked mom, the moment I descended downstairs.

I was dressed in a delicate, off‑white lace mini‑dress with a sweetheart neckline that frames my shoulders like a whisper of elegance. It has fitted, long sleeves that flare gently at the cuffs, giving the arms a soft, romantic silhouette.

The lace fabric is intricately textured with floral patterns, making the entire gown feel like an embroidered veil of femininity.

A subtle ribbon ties at the back of the neck, adding a charming finishing touch. On my 16th birthday, the dress hugs me youthful figure, its lace shimmering like morning dew, turning the celebration into a scene of youthful grace and timeless charm.

But what truly marks it special is the fact that he chose it for me, he, himself chose it for me.

“Not really. Must be somewhere here. And you know he is not the most important person tonight, but you are. One more thing, please behave, Bella. No more mistakes, tonight. All eyes will be on you”, my mother warned in soft but subtle. An unsettling uneasiness hovering her serious tone which I decided to ignore.

No birthday wishes nothing just her warnings like always. But what truly matters is him. I need to find him and show him the dress he has chosen for me.

And Ofcourse again he will be my dance partner tonight.

From my fifth birthday, he and I are dancing together on my birthday.

My grandma, Charlotte Miller has always been very conscious about the social elite representations and was an admirer of ball.

She told me that his choosing me wasn't coincidence, it was his choice, I was his choice.

Walking through the crowd of strangers, I tried to find the only person whom I can truly call my person, but he was nowhere to find.

Answering to every greeting and well wishing I was getting, I roamed my gaze around the entire hall, everyone was there, but not the one I wanted to find.

The dance was about to start, I could see the people around me gathering at the middle of hall with their partners, but I kept waiting for mine.

They will not start the dance without me, but then I saw my grandma standing across me with a smile, none could falter to miss.

But there was something in her expression, when her eyes stopped at me. I gave her a nervous not so sure kind of smile.

Her eyes stared for a good couple of minutes before whispering something to the head maiden, and then the head maiden walked towards me.

I gulped down not exactly liking the vibe I was getting. The head maiden, Ms Garrett stopping in front of me with a neutral look on her face and everyone presented in the hall started looking at us.

I hated being the center of attention, and right now I could not help but become the one.

“My lady, Mrs Miller wants you to start the dance, now.”, she spoke as always, polite without emotions.

“But Raden is nowhere. Do you know where he is? Please call him if you do so.”, I spoke with the last bit of strength left within me.

“Mrs Miller wants you to change your dance partner. Don't forget you are sixteen now.”, Ms Garrett said as I heard new footsteps approaching us.

Now everyone's attention was fixed on the newcomer at the party, but before I could see who is really was, Ms Garrett continued, “Laren Bradley will be your dance partner from now on.”

I don't know if I sighed or gasped for more air, but as her words processed in my head, I froze.

Finally, then I saw the new person in the hall standing right beside Ms Garrett. A tall young boy with dark olive eyes.

Looking at me with his perfect smile, he has a kind of face which could make me fall for him at first sight, but only if I would be a normal 16 years old girl.

But I was anything, but normal.

I was a girl fallen for her own cousin way more before, maybe from the age of five when I danced with him for the first time.

It was so unholy of me, but then love is the purest of all.

I looked at the boy then to my grandma to check if I was any kind of prank or joke, but from her unwavering eyes, I knew it was not.

I don't know what came to me, but I just ran, I ran away from the strangers faking to know me and shower with fake blessing.

I ran away from the boy who was about to become my new dance partner.

I ran away from the sudden change.

I ran away from shame, shame of hoping impossible things.

Raden Rhodes Hemsley was not there, he was nowhere.

And at last, I realized that things will never be same again after this night because he left me, right on my birthday.

Because I left myself right on my birthday.

I made a speculation of myself right in front of so many people, right in front of my mother who already warned me, maybe because she knew his absence.

Everyone knew it except me.

I stopped near the backyard of Miller mansion right near the garden where we both planted my favorite lilies together.

I knew what changing dance partner at the age of sixteen meant.

It meant replacing the first ever one with the long-lasting one.

My own grandmother after knowing my true feelings changed the dance partner?

This was a custom in our family, we dance only with the person who is going to be our life partner on our sixteenth birthday.

And it was so foolish of me to think that they will let me dance with him, and that he will willingly dance with me in his full senses.

...----------------...

Vote to read more. Next update will be coming soon. And please no hate, it will all make sense as the story will continue.

one more thing, it's a pure work of fiction.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***